Trick or Treat - AIBU

Guidance from who? (That's genuinely meant)

Back in the nineties we tried every door. Was rare to have decorations out. If they didn't have sweets they would give us money or biscuits from the tin.

@CrushOnEminem it can really differ locally. In my town in 80s in Ireland it wasn't really a thing. We went knocking one year having heard about it and most people didn't have anything for us or even know what we were doing! It started in my town late 80s/ early 90s in the new housing estates. I was in a county town, maybe it was an urban / rural thing.

I'm in a suburbs now and the rule is very much as OP says, lights off don't knock.

It’s still guising where I live! No elaborate skits here though, just terrible Halloween themed jokes! I can’t remember the last time I saw a turnip lantern. All pumpkins now.

Definitely only knock on houses with a pumpkin or other decorations up. I was out with my kids this evening and everyone stuck to this rule. It tends to be the same houses that participate every year so we have our route worked out now!

Apparently it’s totally different in the estate down the hill. Predominately families living in that area whereas we have more of a mixture. So I think there’s more of an expectation that everyone will join in on the estate.

@purplebeansprouts I get you. As I said it's not ideal. But I guess if I wasn't doing it bc of a disability I'd rather state that than just sound a bit mean spirited? I can't see how to make people not knock really. You just ignore it or deter them somehow.

Where I am it’s “No lights? No knock”

However, most people take their children out trick-or-treating and so most people just leave a bowl full of candy at their door

There’s been guidance since about 2 years ago that if there’s no lights on or pumpkins outside you don’t knock. It’s only common sense and politeness to follow it. The ones that don’t have no respect.

As well as only knocking on decorated/porch light on/pumpkin outside, rules, it seems people are also unaware that tonight is the only night that it is acceptable to trick or treat.

On our town FB, someone has posted asking what places are best to go, and their child is ill so will be taking them tomorrow. Seems lots of people are happy for him to go to theirs, but when it's pointed out that most people will not entertain trick or treating on November 1st, other posters got very angry about that. Sad the child is ill this year, but shit happens and it is only tonight, better idea would be for the mum to go and buy the cheap sweets the shops will have tomorrow and treat her kid to those.

It certainly never used to be the case that people knocked on decorated houses, throughout the 90s and 00s kids knocked on every door.

It's my late dad's birthday today, so every Hallowe'en we'd go to celebrate with him, I'd get home, to my dark house, and my house was always egged. I once had callers after I'd come home again to the sight of egg everywhere, to a late caller, I had a bucket of water ready and nearly threw it over him...so they used to call at everyone and attack your property if you weren't even there. Luckily I didn't have a car as the next morning you'd see cars also targeted.

Luckily now I can sit with the light on inside and not worry, or turn on my outside light and partake if I choose, so it's much better now and makes me more willing to participate.

This is what I do when we run out and don't have any further kids knocking then.

Totally agree op. The so called supervising parents that let kids (and themselves!) trample across your lawn and have their noses stuck in iPhones not telling their kids to ignore non pumpkin displaying homes.
Seriously there are many good reasons why some homes don't participate in this annual PITA - their choice, their door!

My non-mumsnetter DH, unaware of the unwritten rule, had to be stopped from putting lit pumpkins out on the garden wall this evening- we haven't any sweets FGS!

We live on a quiet rural road with elderly neighbours but it would be horrifying to attract trick or treaters with false-advertising decorations and then have no sweets to give out 😱 A true fright.

Works a charm round here. We only take our kids to decorated houses & we left a big bowl of sweets out when we went trick or treating and when we came back it was still half full 🥰 parents be parenting! Very impressed this year.

My parents buy sweets in but rarely put a pumpkin out. They keep the lights on in the hallway and living room as a sign that they're in. We put out pumpkins but we are normally pit ourselves so the sweets go out on the step with a sign. We only knocked on decorated houses this year but that was because there were loads of them so we didn't need to bother with any other doors. I know that other streets have a lot of older people who buy sweets but don't put out decorations so the rule was alway, where we live, if the light is on then you can knock but if the light is off then don't disturb them.

I'm Irish & in my 50s & Halloween is a HUGE thing here & always has been. We've loads of traditions around it. Growing up we got dressed up & knocked on ALL the doors & everyone participated.

On our estate the grownups organised a huge marquee some years & a massive bonfire & bags of treats for all the kids in the estate. They had a whole committee set up to organise it. We spent weeks planning & making our costumes. Some of my best memories are of childhood Halloweens. All my cousins wanted to ve to our house as it was so wonderful. The freedom of running around in the dark with a gaggle of kids.& plastic bags full of loot.

People used to hand out monkey nuts in their shells & apples as well as sweets. The odd one would give a 50p too which we were delighted with!! We were called 'pookies' and we had to do a party piece at the door & we knocked on every door & I don't recall ever being turned away.

Our dc are grown up now but we always made a big effort for Halloween & our house was a sort of hub where all their school pals & parents called to. Kids would run around eating sweets - adults would have hot cider or a glass of wine. We loved those years.

We played all the traditional games from my childhood, bobbing for apples, hands tied behind your back trying to bite an apple hanging on a string etc telling ghost stories by torchlight

We had no decorations when i was growing up & I don't remember it being a thing. I do remember the shops having tons of masks & witches hats though.

When dc we were small we bought some cheap decorations for inside & we used them each year. Like Christmas decorations it was nostalgic taking them out each year.

This year we had no Callers at all & dc are not home. It's bittersweet as we loved those happy days when the house was full & the excitement when there would be a knock on the door & a little bunch od dressed up kids on the doorstep.

Life is short & these traditions are really important to us. I'm so glad I experienced it & that we were able to do the same for our kids

@Doseofreality people are dicks, entitlement to begging. saying that I think I've missed them all as I didn't get back from work until 8

my kids only went to the houses with decorations, that’s definitely the norm around here! I left a bowl on the steps and it was empty by the time we returned. Felt guilty for not leaving more but we were out longer than anticipated! Came back about 7.20 and not a single knock.

I’m sat in the back room of my house. No decorations or pumpkins outside and yet people keep knocking . It’s driving me absolutely bananas. Have some respect and follow the damn rules.

I trick or treated 40 years ago and there were no decorations either. It's because we were pre-Amazon and pre-China so we couldn't easily get all the cheap decs!

I used to give stuff out, but am just so tired of pisstakers and am all out of community spirit.

So I turned off the front room lights and porch light and put nothing out. Didn’t get bothered this year.

Yep - it’s a real British thing, learned that quickly , it does make sense though!

Where we live it's decorations or a pumpkin in the window

That just makes you a target for "knock and run" in my experience. Or eggs to the house one year (COL crises seems to have stopped this particular way of showing the little darlings reactions)

Posters/notes on doors are a waste of time.

Yea, that is the unwritten rule. However, not everyone knows it! I know it now because I have kids and we've done quite a few halloweens! But long ago, I didn't know that was the rule! So much so, that I didn't buy decorations or pumpkins etc.. and always wondered why no-one came to the door and I was left with bags of sweets!!

I know it sounds stupid, and it should be obvious! but when rules are unwritten, not everyone knows them! You don't know what you don't know!