Trick or Treat - AIBU

SweatyBawbag

About a lot more than that - also about the fear put in some elderly and the facts some people do not want doors knocked etc

I much prefer the newer custom of only knocking at houses that have decorations outside, regardless of whether lights are on or not. Decorations state intention to participate, and without them I just steered my charges past and on to houses that were openly willing to join in. You can only cover so much ground with kids, the window of sensible time to knock is from onset of darkness to 8 pm at the latest. (By then people are either fed up with answering the door, out of treats or trying to get young kids to bed. Or all three.) So no point in wasting time going to households that don't want to play when you can clearly see households that do.

It makes sense to clarify the position: no decorations, such as a pumpkin, no providing treats. It's daft to give sweets to ToT if you don't have decorations out, you're rewarding people for knocking at doors randomly which a lot of people don't want! If I didn't want ToT to come round I'd ring each of the schools nearest me and ask them to mention in assemblies ONLY knock on decorated houses if you're trick or treating at Halloween! It won't stop all but hopefully make a difference...

Many police forces have put out guidance about trick or treating.

Around here yes and is very much abided by mist it seems the children all point each other in the right directions HOWEVER I have seen people blocking their pathways tonight with bins , bbqs and motorcycles!.

It really, really wasn't. Tolerance is not accepting kids turning up whenever they want and Hallowe'en is ONLY on 31st October, to say otherwise is not showing tolerance of 'kindness; but entitlement and arrogance.

Yeah I've always thought that. We gave out 95 bags in an hour, took down the decorations and turned hall light out and just had the lamp on. Still got knocks at the door so gave out the last 5 bags I'd kept back for my teens then turned the lamps off and sat in the dark watching tv, as the dog goes nuts when the door is knocked.

I misread that as Michael McIntyre and thought... I know a lot of people find him annoying; but is he really that terrifying?!?!

I wasn't aware of this rule until recently and im an adult it was not a thing when I was growing up and I only realized when I had no trick or treaters last year it was because I had no decorations up yet had bought loads of sweets for them. I assume its kids out alone maybe? I seen some family's knocking on undecorated houses tonight with no response I also seen some people leave notes out which seemed to work better might be an idea for next year

We've been to the pub and left DS at home. We don't have any decs up (can't be doing with Halloween) but we do have an outside light on. DS was most annoyed to hear kids knocking on the door twice - obviously ignored them - but really??? No pumpkin = No knocking (or so I thought..) 🙄

Yes, this is the main problem. Like so many things, the decent, respectful people follow the accepted rules/customs and err on the side of caution - but the scarier, possibly more aggressive, ones - the sullen teenagers who feel entitled to demand sweets, money or whatever at this time of year - wouldn't care less about whether they're welcomed or not.

As PP said, if you take the concept of 'trick or treat' literally, and don't just use it as a phrase to ask politely for a couple of sweets, if somebody doesn't stump up with anything - including those who clearly indicate that they don't wish to participate - they've 'earned' themselves a trick. It's bad when a good-natured community tradition is enacted as an anti-social protection racket.

I think trick or treating is getting sweets by begging/menace.
There was another thread on here yesterday or today, can't remember, about what one remembers what was normal in their own day, which is absolutely frowned upon now.
I think trick or treating will fall into the frowned category in 15-20 years time.

Or people who have no idea that this is a rule because it is unwritten and they are not psychic.

Nonsense. Kids can come and go before during or after. Youre not obliged to answer the door of course

There are people who work night shift and don't want to be woken up by other people's kids. People who are elderly and are fearful of knocking in the night.
People with disabilities who cannot get to the door to answer to anybody, yet have to be disturbed by the knocking. People who have just got the baby off to sleep at last.
People with dogs who bark at every door knock. People who are suffering bereavements and caring for critically ill family who can do without this invasion of their 'peace'.

For goodness sake - teach your children why knocking on random strangers doors is unacceptable.

Yabu.

I put a bat candle in the window - had sweets ready but only got knocked once tonight

We just go to houses that have their hallway or outside lights on. We live in a village in Northern Ireland and all the kids do the same. Once I put my children to bed I just put the bucket of sweets in the door step. We're quite lucky as the children here were just taking one or two sweets each.

Why should it be up to unwritten rules to dictate who gets called on? Why not just introduce a system whereby people put out a recognisable sign - maybe a lit up one - something like one of those "Santa, please stop here" ones, if they DO welcome callers?

The problem with relying on paper signs or notes pinned on the door is that it's dark, so nobody can easily see them!

It's a fun tradition for many, but we shouldn't lose sight of the fact that many people don't like it - and it causes some people distress or fear when people knock on their doors after dark.

Screwed if your living room is at the front of the house!

My auntie came with us tonight and I was saying to her how I love that today, you only go to houses with decorations so you know you're not annoying people who don't want you to knock (as a kid in the 90s in Scotland where i grew up, you just knocked on everyone's door).

Guising was so much fun. Turnip lanterns were a nightmare to carve, though.

DD has been out around our little estate this evening, and has had a brilliant time. We have a great Community Association Facebook page, and although its not organised as such, they do help make Halloween fun for those that want to join in 🎃

Like many PP's the local rule is, if there's a lit pumpkin outside then you're welcome to knock.

To be honest, it's only been primary aged children out and about this evening, all polite and well behaved, so it's been really good fun.

I also remember knocking on all of the doors in the nineties, but definitely expecting those without lights on not to answer.

I think for a good few years though the rule has been only to knock on decorated houses. I'm all for reminiscing about the good old days but some things improve over time and this is one of them. I really like the opt-in culture around it now.

I think if you decorate you have to expect knocks. You can simply tell the trick or treaters that you have no sweets, which is fine, but it's weird to decorate and then be apparently confused about what they want and be mean to them. Trick or treating is hardly new and they're just trying to obey the unwritten rules and go where they're invited to, which we should be encouraging.

I have to say, these threads are always full of Scottish MNers talking about jokes and riddles and skits and it sounds like so much more fun. I would much prefer that way of doing things.

I've never liked the 'trick' part where the person gets tricked for not giving you sweets. Even as kids, I would never dreamed of doing that, and had I egged people or even squirted water, an angry neighbour would have recognised us and then been knocking on our door to have a word with my parents. My spoils for the evening would have been confiscated and I'd have been in a lot of trouble.

I only discovered this rule on mumsnet a few years ago! I always thought that lights on meant ok to knock.. I only had one group tonight though (outside light on, but no decorations visible from the street) so I guess most folks stick to it now. Maybe area dependent as well?

Same. Decorations are only a very recent thing here. My dc are young adults (21-26) and when they doing it, a decorated house was a total rarity and that was only towards the end of the youngest's T&T career. All the older neighbours would have been so disappointed if the neighbourhood kids didn't call. It's really only house with kids that are decorated these days so they call to all the houses and most provide sweets. All the lights off might avoid a door knock though.