Trick or Treat - AIBU

I haven't heard of this rule. My children are adults.
I dint decorate my house , and can't be arsed carving pumpkins.
I'm happy for kids to knock and always have sweets, only has two though.
Maybe next year I'll have to do something then.

YANBU

My dad had Alzheimer's, and one Halloween I printed out posters for my mum to put on their door, saying "no trick or treaters" or along those lines. They still had people knock despite this. Really pissed me off. In some ways I wonder if the posters just encouraged it because people just saw the picture of a pumpkin on it and assumed it was fine.

My kids have always understood that no decorations or lit pumpkin = you don't knock.

No, I don't find it in any way strange. Most people don't decorate but most have sweets in to give to kids who call. That is standard where I live. It's a tradition that goes back generations.

Why do you think people should have decorations up in order to participate in a long standing tradition that never required decorations? Halloween decorations are a recent American import.

Canadian here - trick or treating is a long-standing custom here, perhaps brought over from many Scottish immigrants in the 1800's.

No decorations are needed here, but most will at least put out a pumpkin. If the porch light is on that is usually a signal that the homeowner is accepting callers. If the porch light is off and curtains drawn, carry on...

I could hear the parents outside with their children tonight and heard many of them telling their little ones to ‘look for the lit pumpkins or Halloween lights’. We had our pumpkin lit and on the window ledge. When I was cleared out of haribo mini bags (over forty of them) I took the pumpkin off the window ledge and popped it on the fire place and no more knocking. It’s the first year we’ve had this here usually they keep on knocking, it’s been a lovely night. And every child that was here was so well behaved and they were all gracious. Honestly such a lovely bunch of children it warmed my cold old lady heart!

I've no kids and I don't go all out with decorations but every year the village children knock the door for some sweets - and I always get some in and listen to their jokes and admire their costumes. It's kids having a bit of fun FGS. If you don't want them knocking put up a big sign saying Go Away. Job done. I don't mind them once a year for maybe an hour or so.

I am like you OP. Don't do Halloween. I was going out at 19:00 tonight anyway but didn't stop some of the little sods turning up earlier and trying it on. I didn't answer the door to any of them.
It is very rude to go ahead and knock when there are no decorations up. My neighbour is elderly and lives alone, and she did not want people banging on her door in the dark (and neither did I).

And you wouldn't think it strange for people who keenly celebrate Hallowe'en in this way to nevertheless resolutely not give the slightest indication externally on their homes? Not even a pumpkin or a small homemade sign?

I agree that unwritten rules are not really satisfactory; that's why I'd like to see an opt-in system - which could easily be publicised and spread through social media, custom and word of mouth and become widely well understood very quickly.

Very straightforward indeed: many people enjoy this custom of being called on, but many don't - so only call on houses that have some kind of sign up saying "Trick or Treat welcome here", then everybody is happy.

Oh its been a nightmare here too. As you can see my kitchen lights from the front street, I ended up tying up my front gate this year to avoid knocks and so I could cook!

I have nervous rescue and foster cats and dogs and in previous years I've tried leaving a bowl out with a sign on the door saying don't knock due to nervous animals so to just take something from the bowl, and people still knocked. Last year I just tried to have no decorations and no bowl but people still knocked when my kitchen lights were on so I tied my gate this year as a last resort.

half 5 eating supper blind down and banging on the door with shouts open your door and give us sweets point blank ignored. no way am I giving sweets out if they ask like that.

Nope, nothing. I live in Ireland though so it's not an imported american thing like it is in England. It's a very longstanding tradition where it's expected that you will have callers on halloween and you will give them something. When I was a child we used to get money or the occasional person who had run out of change would give a few monkey nuts.

YANBU! I felt awful earlier when my kids trotted down a garden path and knocked on a door, and I realised the white pumpkin decoration in the window was actually a very round vase! I called the kids back, but the lady had already come to the door (and thankfully didn't mind, had a bowl of sweets and a little girl dressed as a witch with her!). I've always explained to my kids that Halloween is basically a game, and one of the rules is that people who want to play have decorations out, people who don't have decorations out don't want to play. We had someone knocking after we'd taken the pumpkins in earlier and didn't answer, I thought that was quite cheeky!

You're assuming people know the unwritten rule that not decorating = no wish to participate. Where I live, the only way you would know clearly that someone didn't want to participate would be if they told you or there was a sign up. I only know about this unwritten rule from MN.

Not even a pumpkin that can be used for food afterwards? Or just a quick homemade sign making it clear that callers are welcomed?

I find it concerning if those wanting to participate can't be bothered to give the slightest indication of that and, instead, expect those who don't want callers to just put up with it or to go out of their way to try to keep people away.

If we're ignoring social consideration and respect for neighbours

it's just anti social behaviour and the type of neighbour nobody wants to live next to......never mind having them knock on their door.

@SweatyBawbag yes it's just guidance but surely anything around etiquette and how to behave in public etc is "guidance".
As these many threads have shown different communities have different rules of etiquette around Halloween so it's good that local police/council etc attempt to advise.
You can't guarantee people will follow that guidance - but at least it's something.

But if we're ignoring social consideration and respect for neighbours who clearly don't wish to participate - and purely going on whether or not something is technically legal or not... surely, by the same token, saying the words "Trick or treat" to somebody who answers an unsolicited knock at their door is literally issuing a threat of unknown severity - and thus those doing so (especially if over the age of criminal responsibility) may well have committed a crime?

The only people who put up decorations where I live are those with small kids. I assume they are decorating for the benefit of their own dc. None of the older people in my neighbourhood decorate but they do have sweets in to hand out and most love seeing the kids coming round.

I have no desire to buy "cheap tat" for my house but I am perfectly happy to provide sweets. We had a good few knocking. All were polite and all got sweets.

SweatyBawbag "Its just waffle from the police. Call it guidance if you will but it has no legal standing. Its not a crime to knock on someones door

Fantastic attitude - I can see how you got your name.

My NDN has decorated her garden and has not shut up about Halloween. I told her the other day not to bring the kids to mine, that I have no money at the moment and I usually celebrate Halloween at a relatives house (a yearly tradition and usually if i buy sweets I buy them to be given out at that house).

Despite being really clear about that i heard her telling her kids to go knock at my door at hakf 3. I literally said to them all I've got nothing to give you and ended up having to mooch about for something out of my cupboards!

It must take a special kind of arrogance for those people who assume that householders only use lights in their homes to signify whether or not they want callers - and not, erm, so they can see what they're doing at home after dark.

Interesting how it's a fun community celebration, but one that happens to leave people who don't wish to participate feeling that they have to grope around in the dark in their own homes.

Fun is only fun if everybody involved is enjoying it.

Devon and Cornwall Police said: "Some people, particularly the elderly and vulnerable, may get worried or even frightened if strangers are continually calling at their door during the evening."
It said "as a rule of thumb" if people have decorations on display then it was likely they were "open to trick or treaters"
The posters can be downloaded, external from the Devon and Cornwall Police website
Officers added: "Please respect those who don’t want to take part in trick or treating
"Stick to areas and people you know. People who welcome trick or treaters often put a pumpkin outside their house or in their window as a sign."

Cant really understand the mind of anybody who thinks their kids can disturb random people at will in the name of fun.

Aiming to minimise Halloween-related disruptions, Avon and Somerset Police spokesperson said: "Halloween can be scary for people who are elderly, vulnerable or live alone. This can mean they are at a higher risk of becoming victims of crime if they feel isolated or alone."
The police encourage everyone celebrating to do so with respect and care for those who may find Halloween unsettling. "If you are celebrating Halloween this year, we hope you have a spooktacular time, but stay safe," the spokesperson added. "Please be mindful and respectful that not everyone in our community will be taking part."

One example - Police have also issued notices to put on your door to point out you are not participating.

With such a lot of cheap Hallowe'en tat decorations in all the shops at this time of year, don't those who claim not to understand the 'unwritten rule' genuinely wonder why somebody would be so thrilled to take part in the traditions by welcoming Trick or Treaters yet not go to the tiniest trouble to put a single visible decoration up?

Or is it another version of when door-to-door salespeople simply ignore signs clearly saying that they aren't welcomed - because they believe that their wishes to try to wrench a sale are far more important than those of the householders wanting their privacy and expressed wishes to be respected?