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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to flash my hazards for "thank you" or is it actually rude 😬

85 replies

Newusernameforthiss · 31/10/2024 16:51

I learnt to drive very late (mid 30s) and I'm pretty nervous/cautious. I live in London, where the average standard of driving is terrifying and you have to be super aggressive to get in and out of gaps etc.

I have learnt to flash my headlights, and that this means "go ahead" if you're waiting by a line of parked cars or "go on your turn" at a junction. Or even just a pass-agg "I'm here" if honking would be a bit much.

When I let people in ahead of me in a queue/merging, they often flash their hazards once at me, so I took it to mean "thank you" so I do it too now.

When I drive outside of London, I do "thank you hazards" and people put their headlights on full or honk at me 😬😬😬 is it rude outside the M25? Is it rude everywhere??? And I've completely misinterpreted it? This stuff is a nightmare. I've only just got into the groove of remembering to bring biscuits every time I go on a playdate for the children. Obviously my first priority is driving safely but I hate there's some kind of etiquette code I have no idea about???

YABU - flashing you hazard lights is rude
YANBU - thank you hazards are a thing

OP posts:
puddingpour · 31/10/2024 17:03

They might be warning you that you have a bulb out. Check your lights.

Original poster
Newusernameforthiss · 31/10/2024 17:01

senua · 31/10/2024 16:56

You normally only flash hazards if the person you are thanking is behind you e.g. they let you into a line of traffic.

Yes this is what I said/meant! People did it to me when I was behind, so now I do it me when the people I want to thank are behind me 👍 but sometimes I do it and then they seem to be cross!?

OP posts:
senua · 31/10/2024 16:59

When I drive outside of London, I do "thank you hazards" and people put their headlights on full or honk at me
They let you into the line
You say "thank you" (flash hazards)
They say "you're welcome" (very quick flash of headlights)

Singleandproud · 31/10/2024 16:59

Don't flash to say Go Ahead, that is for them to decide and you may not see a danger that could cause an accident for them.

Flashing headlight at dusk is also not good as it can dazzle you, perhaps not such an issue in London with street lights but a huge issue if driving down unlit country roads

yukikata · 31/10/2024 16:59

sanityisamyth · 31/10/2024 16:55

If you read the Highway Code, flashing your headlights does not mean "go ahead". It means I am here. It is not a way of letting another car turn in front of you or leave a junction etc.

In reality though, the highway code can't dictate what it means, because it means what people understand it to mean. Drivers understand that flashing someone waiting to turn means go ahead.

They won't change the highway code because it is not that safe to flash someone to tell them to go, but in the real world, everyone knows this meaning.

WolfFoxHare · 31/10/2024 16:57

I flash my hazards to say thanks to the car behind (say if they’ve let me merge in front of them, and they’re unlike to see me lift my hand up). I flash my main beams to say thanks when someone gives way to me on a road where there isn’t room for two cars to pass each other so one has to hang back.

senua · 31/10/2024 16:56

You normally only flash hazards if the person you are thanking is behind you e.g. they let you into a line of traffic.

TheSilkWorm · 31/10/2024 16:56

I know it's the convention but I absolutely hate it. I don't need to be half blinded by your lights, I'll assume you are thanking me with a wave I can't see in the dark.

sanityisamyth · 31/10/2024 16:55

If you read the Highway Code, flashing your headlights does not mean "go ahead". It means I am here. It is not a way of letting another car turn in front of you or leave a junction etc.

Brananan · 31/10/2024 16:53

I never flash for any other reason than to say thanks. I never ever use it for go ahead. That's up to them to decide.