Having a surname from a different background to your own

I like the Spanish system of keeping your own surnames (one from your mother and one from your father) and then your children getting one from you and one from your DH.

Or just chose an unrelated one you both like and both of you use that.

Men who want the family to have the same name never think of changing their names, do they?
In your place I would refuse. Keep your heritage.

Just keep your original surname. Plenty of people do. If you think it sounds weird to you then you don't need to use it. If you have kids, how would you feel about them having that name? Or double barrelled with yours?
Either way there's no need to change it. Or you could 'unofficially' have his name as middle name? I know some people have done that either informally or by deed poll. Whatever you think sounds right to you!

"I think the fuss about changing names is ridiculous even your maiden name comes from a man (your dad)"

Why does the husband's father's name somehow belong to him in a way the woman's father's name doesn't belong to her?

OP is half white though.
She has the Indian surname because that's her father's ethnicity. So a side has been picked for her. We don't know which half she looks more like.
Given that English people and Austrians are both of Germanic descent I don't think this is a problem?

DH is from the UK. I come from a culture where women don’t change their names so I always thought I wouldn’t, but DH also said the same thing about liking the family to have the same name so I agreed to it.

My first name is a common Arabic and English name. When I got married, I made my maiden name my middle name, and then I took my husband’s surname. I also still go by my maiden name professionally.

It felt strange at first, but I think it would have felt strange wherever the surname was from as it was a new name and identity. I’ve now come round to it, but what I find funny is when people see my first name and my new surname written down, they expect someone who is white, and then they see me. Quite a few times I’ve been in waiting rooms where there’s only one other white lady, and the person calling my name goes to the other lady thinking it’s her, and I’m like nope, it’s me.

I took my DH's which is South African Indian, I'm white British and yep , have to spell it every time!

I was quite keen to keep my last name and while DH was more than happy with that, he liked the thought of us having the same last name so we just double-barrelled our Welsh and Indian surnames together.

Neither of us changed their names when we got married. Kids got one surname as their surname and one as their second middle name (we didn't want them to be double barreled)

I'm also mixed race with a husband from a different cultural background. I kept my name as it's important to me and I would feel 'odd' with a name that didn't match my face. Completely understand where you are coming from.

I took DH's (none English) surname.
I've had a couple of double takes when I turn up places, but otherwise no issues.
I do wish that I'd done what another couple did, and double barreled it tho. As someone else mentioned, it sounded strange the first few times I heard it, but feels natural now.

Alternatively, and the languages might make this a no go, can you blend both names into a new surname that is shorter than double barreling?

Although tbf my dad is half indian via his mother but has a english surname, a doctor when he was in hospital recently said "you don't look like you are called what you are"
So yeah, that was a bit sus.

I changed to my husbands surname, its a slightly changed surname as DH ancestors fled Europe (Jewish)
The amount of trouble I have with it is so frustrating im constantly asked to repeat myself, always get told its "unusual" and they are glad I speak such good english both me and DH born in London 🤣 Myself and DH sometimes think we should of gone with my Maiden Name instead (v. English and simple) seeing as he's estranged from his father's side completely!

I'm Indian (mostly) married to an Englishman. I'd love to have your problem because his surname is so boring.
However I took it anyway because, I have a patronym and not a surname. So my surname on official documents is my father's first name.
Calling me Mrs Dads First Name sound so wrong. So I took his.

I think the fuss about changing names is ridiculous even your maiden name comes from a man (your dad). If I had my own surname I'd have kept it and given the kids whichever sounded better. Job done.

My husband doesn't care whether I take his name or not.

BTW people don't change their name in my country of origin. But we have many different name formats.
For a patronym it's something like (translated)
Jenna daughter of James
And James the dad would be
James son of John

No surnames whatsoever. Only the individual dad's first name.

For Chinese people their surname comes first so it's something like Tan Xiao Tong where Tan is the family name and Xiao Tong the given name.

All forms easily accommodate all name types. Don't understand why the 'international' community squishes everything into first name surname which is a Western standard but whatever.

Why can’t he change his surname to yours? I’m now very anti women changing their surnames on marriage for the reasons a PP gave: if you change your surname and your children also have your DH’s surname, then you get divorced, you’re stuck with his surname if you want to keep the same surname as your children.

I have exactly the same!

in an ideal world where he got his way...

I bet it would be ideal for him if he got his way every time. But it's not ideal for everyone. You don't have to meet his ideals. Stick to your own name.

Not exactly the same but I'm very very celtic looking. Pale features, lots of freckles. My husbands surname is European and whenever I give people my surname they're like "oooh that's very exotic" in a slightly shocked (gentle well natured) mocking way. It's not even particularly exotic but still more exotic sounding than I look. I do prefer it though because it's still easier to spell than my original surname.

I didn't change mine and thank god for that because we're now getting divorced and the thought of being linked to him anymore than I am now (house, kids) makes me feel sick!

I took my husband's surname, which is Hebrew but sounds Eastern European (ends in -tz). It really shows up a lot of prejudices because often someone will tell me they're glad I speak fluent english when they meet me, as they presumed from my surname that I wouldn't

I’m Spanish to a British guy. Changing my surname to my husbands is not part of my culture so when I married I didn’t change it. My son has go both our surnames. Just because some people do it because it feels it right to them does not mean you have to do it yourself.

I don't personally think that women should change their names.

However, his name will be part of your life story. It's interesting.

My great-grandfather (paternal grandmother's father) was impressed (forcibly kidnapped) into Royal Navy service in the late 1800s. His ship traveled to Spain, then to a harbor in the US, where he jumped overboard and swam to shore. To avoid recapture he changed his name to the only foreign name he'd ever heard, which was Spanish. He married, had a bunch of children, and to this day that branch of my family carries a Spanish surname even though none of them has a drop of Spanish blood.

People don't have to look a certain way to have a certain name.

I kept my own surname and we gave our kids both our surnames which I like. In my husband's culture women don't take their husbands surnames anyway so luckily there wasn't a conversation to be had about it but it wouldn't have felt right to have such a Spanish surname with my name

When I married 26 years ago (been divorced for 14) I took on my then husbands Dutch surname. It’s a very difficult name for non Dutch speakers to pronounce so that was the strangest thing. I’m white British though, with a maiden name that also appears in Holland so perhaps not as culturally jarring for me as if may be for you.