Aibu to think some parents expect their kids to be the brightest & best at everything? Then are resentful if kids do better than theirs?

And then at the other end, I used to live in HK and have my Chinese friends tell me “oh my girl is not very academic, very average” which means “may not get 3 A* at Alevel. 🤣

My beloved father, who was exceptionally bright, received a shock when he realised that two of his sons were limited in intelligence. It works the other way as well.

I once had a Dad tell me he was 'incredibly clever and very successful' I paused a second too long (on purpose) and said 'So X is...' and acted like I didn't hear his boast.

I've had another Dad say (completely seriously) 'my son is the best lad you have in your school' I smiled and said 'we all like that about our children don't we?' and changed the subject.

I've had parents say 'my child is extremely bright' about their perfectly average child.

Parents say 'My child is bored' when actually they can't do the work without help.

It's not new. My friend and I were little prodigies, and her dad would grill me about whether or not I was doing better than her in the car during lifts!

Ironically the parents with the most successful (and often most popular) kids are the least pushy of their own agenda but most encouraging of the child to be their own person.

What’s worse is when children sometimes struggle with behaviour or mental health and the parents are just blind to it because of denial or being convinced they couldn’t have anything other than normal kids. Very damaging

Yes I definitely think there are some parents like this. I have one very academic the other who struggles (ASD) and I am equally proud of both of them. My eldest works hard but it’s luck that he’s got a good brain and also that he’s not had other adverse life circumstances to deal with.

Ok I'm going to do the unthinkable and admit that my children are not child geniuses. Whilst they try their best and do well I have friends whose children are cleverer and easily breeze through school lessons. I know it was a shock to one of my friends to find out how clever her children were.
I am a tiny bit jealous that her children find it so effortless and that my friend won't have to struggle to get her children 'seen' by the school but they are such lovely people that I couldn't be resentful that their children do well and the children are lovely too. Our children may end up on different paths in life, but I hope that all of them find a vocation or job that can give them the lifestyle that makes them content, whatever that may be.

Most people think their children are the best, but not always for the same reason. Mine was clever, easy win. One of his friends had a personality of pure sunshine - he was also the best kid. Another learned English fluently in about six months, another stunning lad. The loyalty of one, in hard times would make anyone proud.
So much to be proud of in just about every child and I think most parents get that don't they?

These parents get on my nerves, and are very obvious.

DS5 is extremely bright and ahead in pretty much everything, always has been. I really don't push him too hard, or spend hours reading every night etc (I also don't say douchey things like 'extremely bright' in real life as brags, BTW) He does loads of clubs because he prefers that to the after school club everyday, but doesn't 'have' to do anything.

I regularly get accosted questioned by parents when their kids play with DS and it's clear he's ahead in something. They seem completely put out and almost enraged that he chooses to read by himself/practise times tables without me standing over him like a hawk.

My son isnt school age yet so i haven't experienced this but im sure it's always been the case. My son is a bit behind according to nursery, with some things. I don't care (besides supporting him with those) and i still think he is absolutely the best and most clever baby that ever lived - because i love him for who he is. I focus on the things i love about him- not what i think he should be doing

Honestly, there have been parents like this since I was a child. I bet they are a barrel of laughs at parents’ evening.

Of course. There have been pushy parents and people who think their children are the next Messiah for millennia.

There’s always a thin line between encouraging your children to do the best they can and stressing them out but that’s been the case for time immemorial.

I don’t think COVID has anything to do with it.