I know I’ll probably get a bit of a flaming here.
Ds is 3, on the cusp of turning 4. I always kind of thought three was the turning point, where you could reason with them a bit and have some age appropriate sanctions and bribery rewards.
Rewards do kind of work in the ‘if you get upstairs NOW you can have a chocolate button’ way. But anything like a sticker chart or similar just doesn’t work. Similarly consequences don’t seem to work. If you say you’ll confiscate a toy or you will turn the TV off it just seems to escalate the situation out of control, and also means the original behaviour you were trying to address gets kind of lost.
I know that sounds a bit vague but if I give an example - he climbed up on a window sill the other day and I said in my bright parenting voice ‘go on the floor please - might slip there!’
I am ignored twice so moved him. He found this hilarious and just kept climbing up. In the end put him in his room and he got furious and upset, screaming and crying and took ages to calm down … I’m not convinced he learned anything from that.
I don’t think he’s ND, who knows for sure but definitely no concerns raised thus far.