Haven’t paid rent in months!

So why not check your balance regularly? It's very easy to keep track nowadays with apps and online banking. There really is no excuse for not noticing 6 months worth of rent money not going out!

This wasn’t directed at me but as I’ve said previously, I have ADHD and history of anxiety/depression. I still think there’s absolutely no excuse for any of this, particularly when the OP has three children she’s responsible for. IMO it’s absolutely unacceptable to threaten their security and it makes me seriously question whether the OP is a fit parent at all.

It is so easy to spend more than you realise when you're not checking your bank. I do it frequently. I have no clue how people on UC are managing. I earn above NMW and I'm struggling hard.

There's been more than one occasion where my wages are gone 3 days after I've been paid. If OP is on pre-payment meters they'll be costing her an extra £15 a week, more if she is not being frugal. Food shopping for 3 children and an adult is bound to be £20+ more a week, it could be a massive rise if OP is not deliberately budgeting it and is buying the same as she always has. Phone and BB charges have risen.

Add to that the chancing your luck because your card is not declining and spending the odd tenner here and there on something not necessarily frivolous but not exactly needed either eg a nice meal from the "luxury" range at the supermarket or a packet of sweets and a drink each for the kids on the way home from school, a tenner out of the cash machine to pay for a taxi instead of the bus because it's raining...

That extra few quid you're spending here and there without counting can easily add up to more than £100 a week with the added rise because of COL without you realising. You know you're spending more but until you run out and are forced to check your bank you have no idea how much more.

It's funny how if this was written from the children's point of view in 20 years the replies would be very different.
"AIBU to go no contact with my mother due to her spending habits and never taking responsibility. She even got us evicted when we were growing up and upset friends who tried to help by being guarantors."

I don't see how the COL makes it more likely that you'd notice, I think it makes it less likely...

Lets say the old landlord dies, so that bank account is shut, OP doesn't get the letter/email saying 'we need you to set up a new standing order' because they're ignoring their mail...

Cost of everything goes up but they're not paying attention to the exact costs of anything - I can tell you right now, I have zero clue what my gas or electricity bill costs, I do not know the price of a loaf of bread, a pint of milk, I don't know what our weekly shop costs as we don't have one, himself just goes out when we run out of shit...

If it were just me here it would be very very easy to not realise the price of everything has gone up, and the only reason I am not getting my card declined everywhere is that its the rent payments covering the increase.

I am not in a pickle because himself does keep track of the direct debits and standing orders and I earn a smidgen more than we spend most months, and big spends come out of savings (although we now have next to no savings left as a result of several big spends recently). This truly is more by luck than design though!

That could change and if I were on my own... I could very easily get in the shit, particularly as I have the temptation of a credit card which is for emergency use only and will give me 10K credit!

It's because shes contradicted herself that people are judging. If she was honest and said look I've ended up spending my rent, meant to out it back but I just got carried away, most people would sympathise. But shes basically come on here lying expecting us all to believe it.

There is absolutely no way shes been crippled by the COL and not noticed shes had a massive increase in her income at the same time. Absolutely no way. Because for most of us, when we are struggling we literally count every penny.

I sympathise with someone who dipped into their rent money, meant to put it back and it ended up spiralling. I get that. But coming on here lying to us to get sympathy just pisses people off. She knew what she was doing and that's fine, doesnt affect any of us. No need to lie and try and get sympathy in a different way

My rent in California was great. It was a flat rate and included the electricity — which is great, because of the heat and we have aircon.
But not surprisingly, they went bankrupt and the new owners charge us that same flat rate plus our electricity - which adds about $400-500 per month. Ouch.
Still, they’re nice and they fix everything within a couple of hours and most importantly, it’s safe here.
And feeling safe is worth about $5Million/month.

Credit card companies don’t give a shit about your mental health.
Either does your phone carrier or your wifi or internet provider — and I notice @Uppoopcreek has easily posted her dilemma online.
Why should landlords be any different?

If this is a genuine post, what I find alarming is that three children are part of this situation. If their Mum has been so unwell, who’s looking after them?

The OP may not be a chancer and may well have genuine mental health problems. Ultimately, though, that is not her landlord's problem to solve. He's not a charity.

Exactly this. The OP is a chancer and now he's engaged with something that wasn't previously his problem, post his initial overwhelming grief, which he still feels, he's uncovered the fact that she's been taking the mick for 6 months. I'd be starting eviction proceedings pronto.

What about the landlord's MH? Lost a son and now his tenant is in arrears.

You don't believe mental illness exists, do you?

But it is a card that people play and it pretend they don’t is ludicrous

As a side note, it's pretty horrific that there's a well known acronym for this state of affairs. It should never have been allowed to get to this.

You need to get your life in order and I say that kindly. I don’t think there are any excuses to not pay what you owe and risk your children’s security. they are your children and you have a responsibility to keep a roof over their head.

i haven’t read the full thread but I hope you get it sorted and take this as a wake up call.

Standing orders always go through and only cease when you stop them. I’m not attacking you but if a person is capable of spending thousands then they are capable of spending money on their rent.

The landlord may have ADHD, either way he’s definitely grieving the loss of his child which must have been devastating.

I find tracking my spending incredibly difficult - so, if my standing order hadn't been going through I wouldn't necessarily be aware that the money I was using was 'rent' money.

So you can spend thousands but you couldn’t pay your rent?

Oh god! I had no idea!
thank you !!

My sympathy is with the bereaved landlord, not the OP, who has been chancing her arm and won't be back.

Exactly

Cost of living

OP I just wanted to say that I completely understand how this has happened - I have ADHD and depression and have had similar experiences - spending thousands without knowing and being unable to keep track of money.

The good thing is you've realised now and can talk to your landlord.

Definitely also speak to CAB and see what they advise.