Haven’t paid rent in months!

Sometimes when there is not enough in the account, the standing order doesn’t go out. So I can see how it happened the first time.

Ask for help today. You can’t go on like this.

Good luck.

This !

So many people on here are clueless about mental health and need to educate themselves before making sweeping judgey statements.

It no wonder our MH services are in such a dire state !

@Attelina we don’t need to hear about how a leeching landlord would be ‘furious’ if this happened to you

So sorry this has happened. You need to tell your landlord you’ve only just realised it wasn’t being paid automatically and also explain you’ve been severely unwell these last few months. Ask if you can set up a payment plan

Jesus Christ op has mental health problems she can't face looking at her bank account. Talk about some people are just clueless about mental health. It's a real thing to 'bury your head in the sand'

Op what is done is done. Please call your landlord today and let them speak. Say the truth that you had set up a standing order and something has gone wrong on the banking side of things and you will call the bank and see what's happened .

Then have a cup of tea and write down a speech to say to the bank and call the bank. You can do this. Speak with the bank and see what they say.

Then have something to eat and try and stay calm and call landlord back and ask what can be done to resolve this. Perhaps they will say they can add it on to future payments? You never know. Perhaps they say that's not possible but you can only ask

As a matter of urgency gather all your statements and other bills information and make an appointment with an advisor to go through them all to find out what has and hasn’t been paid and what that rent money has been spent on

I am unsurprised that bad mh could cause you to not realise s/o wasn’t working, or that there was extra money in the account, but have to admit I am as confused as PPs as to how the extra money is all spent without noticing - you need to find out what you spent it on as that’s important information for future budgeting

we may not all be able to be on top of every penny but is our responsibility to do what we can especially if we already know we need a bit more help than others

see this time as not just a one off mess needing to be sorted but as a chance to get help to set up systems to help you manage now and into the future

get that help to set up your finances so that you have a budget, d/d and s/o so if v ill at times you can concentrate on your health and not be missing payments and building up arrears over regular bills like rent, gas, elec, car, nursery etc

use budgeting book or app, set calendar alerts for payments in/out, use phone alarms to remind you to check your account

it’s not shameful to need extra help, and it is really sensible to use all the help we can to form support systems and structure for times when a crisis might hit

bc a crisis can hit anyone, at any time

Agreed!

It happens. I had a friend who was going through a really hard time with her mental health and a drinking problem and didn’t realise her old job were accidentally still paying her in addition to her new job. I don’t know what you can do really other than put it on a credit card and find a way to claw the money back over time.

You knew exactly what you were doing!!

This is why landlords won't rent to people on UC.

Nobody has a spare £700 a month plus for 6 months and doesn't realise. You knew and you used the money anyway.

Apologies profusely, take the 4months missing money split it across 12 months and add that to your monthly amounts and hope he accepts this. Then try to get an appointment with CAP who can help you sort through all financial stuff with compassion.

Another pointless comment. Would you like to have severe mh problems? It’s not a “card” people play when it suits, it’s life altering.

This! I guess your rent must be over £500 a month how could you possibly not notice you had all that extra money?

Whilst paying rent, which is a specified cost, directly to the landlord can be a solution in some cases it does have its negative aspects for landlords too.

Firstly the payment doesn’t necessarily cover the whole rent, it comes in at different times to the due date, and needs frequent reconciliation to keep the tenant appraised of the current situation. Many tenants are capable of budgeting, make a single monthly payment to their landlord and possibly wouldn’t appreciate this type of intervention.

It’s now only available when arrears each 2 months. At that stage it’s probably the better option.

Some councils are also guilty of recovering payments from the landlord instead of the tenant, if there is an overpayment due to tenant fault. ( They shouldn’t, but it happens and at best it takes time challenging the decision.) Again it’s probably worth the risk in problem cases.

This, and the op, is really unhealthy behaviour. It's far more likely to make issues for yourself that will cause even more stress and anxiety than checking your bank account will. There may be unnecessary charges coming out of your account, fraud, anything. It's honestly really not good to bury your head in the sand.

I also don't believe you can not pay rent for 6 months without realising. Even if your rents somehow only £200 a month that's over a grand you've spent that you shouldn't have. You don't spend that much money without realising you shouldn't have it. Maybe the first month, at a huge push two, but I'd be much more inclined to think you realised and thought oh well he's not realised maybe I can get away with more. And yes that's coming from someone with history of being bad with Money and spending talking from experience. (I got myself into a lot of unnecessary debt , thankfully I'm not like that anymore).

No. It doesn't work like that. Countless people have no idea at all how much money is in their account. They often find it too triggering to look. They just tap their cards with their fingers crossed there's enough to cover their purchase. When there isn't they have to borrow from friends, use foodbanks or go without. When there is they're just very grateful.

I had a small period of unemployment where I claimed benefits, just literally put in a standing order that comes out the same day.
Not everyone gets all their rent paid by benefits sometimes it's just half of it especially with rent being so expensive and benefits for rent are capped on how much they will pay.

Same here. It just didn’t happen and you had to get on with it! I think, on balance, it was a better lifestyle.

Just thinking about your examples ... when I was a kid money was short. If you went for a walk, you walked from home, no car journey
There was no hot chocolate at the park, ever.
We never went to 'soft play' and I can't recall ever going out for lunch.
We didn't have the money, end of.
We need to get back to the principle that if you don't have the money you can't have 'it', whatever 'it' is.

Presume your (new) landlord is only now catching up with things after the death of his son?

Also I would think that the next thing he'd do is get onto your guarantor and get all the arrears from her. Rather than make a payment plan with you - he'd rather get all his money owed from the guarantor, and then you and your friend can have a payment plan.

Having been both a tenant on benefits and a landlord of someone on benefits, I am convinced that the best way for both is for the landlord to be paid the rent directly by the benefits office. I didn't know it was still possible, @butterpuffed, like @ByQuaintAzureWasp, I thought it had been stopped decades ago.
I'm sorry about the mess you're in, @Uppoopcreek, I hope you can come to terms with your landlord. There is much wise advice about your situation up-thread, I hope some of it helps you.

I’m surprised your landlord hasn’t noticed. Are you absolutely sure the payments haven’t gone through?

I'm not on benefits and I don't buy coffees out or eat out or impulse buy because I can't afford it. It's honestly not rocket science that these are not within your means on benefits.

Do you have any of the money you would have paid for rent and bills? Are you on uc or pip? If it is utilities register as vulnerable to avoid being cut off. If any council tax is outstanding that needs to be a priority like rent. Can you get an urgent appointment with CAB to support you making offers to repay and check you are receiving all the relevant benefits?

This is a mess of your own making. You state you bury your head in the sand and don’t check your bank account, are surprised you’re 6 months behind on rent, then wring your hands and pull the ADHD/mental health card.

Your 3 children NEED you to be the adult. Step up!
Contact your landlord and if necessary Stepchange to help you sort out this mess.

Yeah I had one like this too 😂 didn't put the rent up for the five years I was there during in that time rent everywhere else went up by a LOT. And I was still renting it for half what it was worth.
Unfortunately he also never bothered to repair anything. Had to do repairs myself. Fully disengaged, I think it was his only property too