Haven’t paid rent in months!

I am a landlord, as it happens. I wouldnt evict but I would be pretty furious, and would take extra care and rent only to people not on UC. ( what I do anyway).

Are your children safe @Uppoopcreek?
If your life is so chaotic you cannot pay bills, are your children well cared for? Attending school? Being fed and clothed? Loved and not seeing the chaos?

@Fraggeek There’s absolutely nothing wrong with supermarket clothing.

Children dressed in Asda, Sainsbury’s, Tesco, Primark etc are still dressed well, just as well as your children were.

There’s not a chance in hell you didn’t notice an extra few hundred a month. Not one. You knew.

If I was your landlord I would be starting eviction procedures straight away.

You are likely going to lose your home, any trust in you anyone has, and nobody will guarantor for you ever again, so it’s likely you will struggle to ever get somewhere else.

Has there been any update from the op yet??? Or are they hiding 🤔🤔

Ring landlord and be honest. Ask if you can pay what you in instalments on top of your rent .. and start paying as soon as you get paid.
Ring Stepchange for help

Perhaps its only me, but I feel sorry for the landlord and the guarantor ( if this is real)
Most of the country have MH problems and anxiety at the moment. Cant be an excuse to make others suffer.
Get a Monzo card, as others have suggested and put away your rent in a pot.

I've been there. Whilst many will say it's lies or you knew what you were doing there are those of us who know exactly what this is like.

I was almost evicted twice for burying my head over unpaid rent. I never checked my bank. I didn't deliberately overspend. I certainly had no luxuries to show for it. Looking back it most definitely went on my kids. I always made sure they were well dressed (next/m&s etc) and because I was buying essential items it was just a case of handing over the bank card and praying it wasn't declined. My mental health was extremely poor but the one thing that got me through was making sure my kids didn't go without. It was almost like tunnel vision, as long as they were ok and there was noone knocking at my door, I could put everything else to the back of my mind.

10 years on I watch my bank like a hawk. My rent is always paid early because I can't leave the money in the bank until it's due because I'm terrified something will happen and I won't have it available. I still have my MH struggles but I've also added to them in some respects as money now scares me. I don't like to spend it and yes my children are still clothed well but I make sure I can afford things first.

You have to face this head on. You need extra support. Do you have a children's centre with family support practitioners? Maybe look at home start as they provide support too. There's many charities out there that can provide financial support. Have a Google and reach out to what seems most appropriate. I promise you it does get better but only if you take full responsibility of your actions and are open and honest with those you need to be (LL and guarantor)

Things absolutely won't get better of you continue to hide away and pretend it doesn't exist .

Good luck.

Right, completely understand not looking and tapping until the card stops working. I'm sure most people here can empathise with that regardless of whether or not they've experienced it themselves

Sounds like a good way to get into debt. If that’s how you manage your money then no wonder looking at your bank accounts stresses you out.
It’s a vicious circle.

@Uppoopcreek call the landlord, apologise, and explain. Sort out your standing order, and suggest an additional payment on top to pat towards the arrears, so add £50 a month or whatever you can afford..

Things were 'hideously expensive' six months ago; if OP was spending at the same rate they'd still have (give or take) six months' rent in the bank.

As it is, they've spent the equivalent of a months rent (for a home for four people) extra per month. That's - conservatively - £6-800 per month for six months...I can't see how someone struggling with COL would not notice what must be a - relatively - massive increase in spending.

I'm calling bullshit too, at first I thought maybe the rent is just really cheap but reading it's private landlord not the council and she has three kids so it's not likely to be a studio flat the rent must be over 900. There's no way anyone is not going to notice having almost 6k extra money in their bank account. There's also no way a landlord would allow six months rent to be unpaid and not notice most.

It's coming across very like the frequent posts on the excellent Reddit DWP and benefits helps forums where people pop up to say "oh no! I didn't realise I hadn't declared my tens of thousands of pounds of savings or the change in my circumstances with my partner moving in or whatever, I thought I did but..and i've just had a call or message to explain this/ attend an interview. I have MH problems. Please be kind and help me"

Like I said on a PP, OP says she's renting a house and has 3DC so presumably, several hundred pounds a month rent for 6 months she hasn't paid and is behind on other bills but somehow didn't notice the thousands of pounds extra money she was spending and has spent it all.

On what? yes the COL is high but if it's not been spent on rent or bills..where is it?

Exactly! If you know that you don’t really have to worry about money, these things make sense and they do add up. But if you’re actually on a tight budget, you know what’s expendable and you’re not heading out for hot chocolates and soft play lunches.

I have mental health issues but if cost oc living hurt you then by God you would be checking wvwey week how much cash you have this you don't know come on you did but you r trying to pretend you didn't almost like them poor girls that are pregnant when young but convince themselves that they aren't as they are in denial.

🙄🙄
What a bizarre comment on a thread where the landlord has demonstrably done nothing wrong and the tenant has somehow not bothered to pay for 6 months. But yep, all the landlord’s fault, of course.

Personally I check my account a few times a day we are short of money but I can see how a person with MH difficulties or even something like adhd could get into a situation like this. I think we need to try and see it from the other perspective as even though it’s hard to understand how this happens it clearly does . I think that the housing element of UC should always go to the landlord it seems the only sensible way to do it

Also are you telling me you didn't get a letter after a couple of months that you haven't paid

I am calling bullshit on this i am kn benefits and if I wasn't paying my rent to my landlord gor 6 months I would have loads of extra cash . So don't tell me a mother with three kids on benefits living hand to mouth didn't realise when you have extra cash

OP hasn't said what the rent is but has said she has 3 DC and is renting a house, it's very unlikely her rent is £400 pcm and more likely much more than that.

So 6 months of hundreds of pounds a month adds up to thousands and very unlikely that was swallowed up without OP having any idea she suddenly had thousands of pounds more disposable income - plus she says she's behind on other bills too.

So OP has clearly spending a shit load of extra money over months while apparently not noticing and blaming it on the COL.

OP must know where she's spent it and it's not on rent or bills so...

This.

Talk to him and explain the situation. Tell him you will repay but it can’t be all at once. Would he be willing to agree to a payment plan? Talk to Shelter and see what emergency funds you might be eligible for. Talk to a CAP centre who can help you manage your finances better.

I’m sure it feels overwhelming and terrifying, but there is a way through this.

People are asking how this is possible but the amount everything has gone up, and the way mental health issues can cause you to not pay attention to spending, £400pcm could easily be swallowed up (especially with kids)

@SilverChampagne most landlords are leeches, having their mortgage paid by somebody else

It was supposed to make people on benefits get ready for the "real" world. As far as I'm aware, my benefits knowledge is a bit out of date, you can ask for the housing element to be paid directly to the landlord.