Haven’t paid rent in months!

Nope.

I have suffered with depression and suicidal ideation and acts for years till 2020 and still have 2 anxiety disorders diagnosed. And PTSD.

I'm frankly bored of people making crappy life decisions which harm their DC, their families and other people and institutions while claiming MH means they weren't really responsible.

I take full responsibility for every poor decision I made and every person I harmed. I'm accountable for all of it and never say to anyone calling me out 'oh you're lucky you didn't experience what I did..'

It's designed to shut people down so you don't deal with your own crap and I won't engage with it. You're a grown up, you made bad decisions, you decided to buy clothes from M and S instead of paying rent, your MH at the time doesn't mean you aren't responsible or I should feel sorry for you.

The majority of people on this site have suffered the same or worse than you, it's life. Recovery is taking responsibility and not making excuses because it's honestly boring that hardly anyone wants to take responsibility and instead, positions themselves as a victim.

I sympathise with you and I just want to ask, if your mental health is bad and you seem vulnerable, could you appoint a loved one or friend to handle your finances? If you didn’t realise that you had a huge chunk of extra finances that you’ve spent on other things instead of rent and bills, I think you need support with managing money. I’m sure you can get in contact with someone from your local council to help support you too? I hope it gets better op x

Indeed 🤦‍♀️
That post is flabbergasting. “He’ll probably write off six months rent because he doesn’t really need it”.
What is wrong with some people’s thought processes?!

My guess is the landlord will serve an eviction notice and sell the house. It's the only sensible thing for him to do after inheriting the house along with a non paying tenant. It would be a hugh amount of hassle for an elderly man to keep monitoring if a tenant has decided to stop paying the rent again. If he has any sense, he'll try to reclaim the rent from the guarantor.

Oh dear, OP, this sounds like financial chaos! You obviously have a good friend who is solvent and agreed to be your guarantor. Could you ask that person to help you work your way through this crisis, find whatever help is available and start budgeting properly? They will soon be finding out the worst anyway in relation to the unpaid rent, so there's no pointing in keep it secret, and they may be able to help. Good luck.

She probably doesn't need you to be so critical though - she knows she's made a mistake and has come here for some suggestions and bit of reassurance. Is being the smartest most responsible person on a thread important to you?

What guilt trip a recently bereaved parent?

'Ah whoops I've spent all my rent, don't be mean and expect me to pay..
You don't really need it'

When you do speak with your landlord, see if you can have a few days to find whatever you can, and if you can make a payment plan to clear the arrears. Will UC give you a budgeting loan to partially cover it?
Can you get a loan? Credit cards?

This is why you are never guarantor unless you’re hugely hugely wealthy and are happy to give away thousands.

I am sorry for the friend, they shouldn’t have done it. OP is mainly responsible, of course, but I hope anyone reading this and thinking “of course my BIL or aunt or friend wouldn’t do this to me!” thinks twice.

The discretionary housing payment has eligibility criteria which doesn't cover people in receipt of benefits who 'forgot' to pay rent to a private landlord for 6 months and spent the money on something else.

I don't know what world some of these posters are living in where they're thinking yes, you already get benefits and if you whoopise forget to pay rent for six months but can't explain how you spent the extra thousands of pounds and didn't notice you were spending thousands of pounds more, the state will step in and pay off the arrears for you?

You poor poor friend.
You do realise they will now have to pay YOUR rent on YOUR behalf?
What is they can't afford it either?

As all the tests cases have stated; being on benefits is not a protected characteristic.

Placing a rental advertisement saying 'no DC or no benefit claimants' is unlawful as it could disproportionately effect a protected characteristic i.e women who are more likely to be single parents and disabled people who are more likely to be in receipt of benefits.

So the potential discrimination comes in in adversely effecting potentially 2 protected characteristics under equality law and the fact that the advertisement brings in an element where the protected characteristics are unlawfully excluded from applying.

But there is currently no law at all that states any private landlord has to rent to just anyone that wants to rent their property and that they'd be discriminatory by refusing anyone on benefits or with kids. Though a challenge could potentially be brought in some cases, it's not a given. Letting agents have different rules.

You've been doling out really inaccurate advice to private landlords trying to frighten them into thinking they're breaking the law when they are not.

How to challenge DSS discrimination - Shelter England

The important paragraph is:

"If you're dealing directly with the landlord, you cannot always challenge DSS discrimination. This is because private landlords are not regulated in the same way as agents"

The bill being debated in parliament which you incorrectly said was current law will cover private landlords

I'm sorry but I don't believe you've managed to spend 6 months worth of rent (at least 2/3 thousand, even in the cheapest of areas) without noticing? If you didn't realise you hadn't paid your rent, you must've assumed your rent had gone out every month and had at least a very rough idea how much of each month's money was remaining. Why did you keep on using your card? I can just about understand it happening one month and blaming it on poor mental maths. But 6 months? Thousands of pounds?

Am I the only person feeling sorry for the unknowing guarantor. My son is 26 and has ADHD and panic attacks at times and his grandad is his guarantor and son absolutely prioritises his rent ( which is high) as he wouldn't want to let his ( comfortably off) grandad down- he also prioritises council tax as one missed payment and you can end up with a judgement and the bailiffs round. Anything else if totally necessary can usually be caught up on and won't bugger your life up- but rent and council tax really can- I'm sorry you are having problems OP but if you do bugger all else, make sure those two get paid every month - for your kids sake too

Agreed. It was complete madness. Many benefit claimants are perfectly able to manage their money (I once claimed benefits and I certainly could), but a significant number of people are on benefits due to issues that affect their ability to prioritise tasks and bills!

That policy change was nothing less than setting up those people to fail.

I have a tenant who is on UC and also works. She is most reliable, sensible and always pays rent on time. I’m embarrassed to say she was initially low on my list of candidates but when a couple of others didn’t come through I went with her and haven’t regretted it. Equally, I am fully compliant with all the regulation and get repairs and improvements carried out in a timely way.

You need to make a proper budget. This level of chaos and disorganisation has to be avoided in future for your children’s’ sakes honestly. You should have a budget and be able to see when you have a lot of money left (which you shouldn’t with a proper budget)..

I don’t recall saying it was?

The poster who I was referring to said she would refuse to rent to anyone on benefits. Full stop. Nothing about them meeting the eligibility criteria, or are you assuming nobody on benefits could possibly meet the criteria?

I’ll use myself as an example. I work full time, receive a UC top up and have children. I meet all of the eligibility criteria - 30 x monthly rent in income, good credit history, references, no CCJs or defaults. But because I receive UC, the poster wouldn’t rent to me. Legal or illegal?

That’s because those people were idiots 😂

It’s so easy to “discriminate” and just not rent to anyone on benefits. Pretty much all landlords do it and get away with it. Nothing you can do.

Totally agree.
Be an adult and manage your finances.

I'm guessing that your standing order went to his son's account until it was closed on completion of probate after 18 months or so.

That might be why it stopped and didn't notice.
Hopefully you can resolve this if you can show it's a genuine mistake, and come to an agreement to pay the money back.

So this absent mindedness just happens to coincide with the landlord dying and his father taking over, just pure coincidence? I really hope it’s not as suspicious as it looks.

Time to get a grip on your finances OP, phone your landlord, see if he will agree to let you pay it back in instalments, and keep track of your back from now on, you don’t have the luxury of being a “head in the sand” type person when it comes to keeping a roof over your kids head. You need to learn to budget. I’ve been there, I know it’s not easy, but it is absolutely necessary.

There isn't, and my children wear plenty of supermarket branded clothing now. But going back I wasn't thinking logically. My life had fallen apart and I had a very misguided way of looking at things.

That's not how the law works.
Her having ulterior motives or even admitting them on forum does not make her actions illegal.
It's illegal to:
*Refuse someone on benefits to apply for a property.

• Refuse to rent property to someone who passed eligibility checks due to them receiving top up benefits.

Having eligibility criteria is not illegal.

At the time I was not justifting anything. I was in a black hole and was not thinking straight.

I'm now recounting my experience having learnt from it. There was nothing deliberate at the time. I was barely surviving with thoughts of harming myself constantly. My kids were my only light in a very dark time. It was quite literally the only thing keeping me alive. I was not thinking straight. I wasn't sitting there weighing up whether I should pay my rent or new shoes for them.

I can't speak candidly about it now because I've come a very long way from who I was. It doesn't make my behaviour ok but it doesn't make you right in what you're saying. Thank your lucky stars you have never been in such a place as this is how you react to your mental health taking over. Depression doesn't work the same for everyone. It not a one size fits all. And it's not an excuse. Its a reason. I faced up to the consequences, I put on the hard work and I got myself out of a hole. It took years.

I'm glad you have no idea how it feels to be in the same situation, to have no understanding or no compassion for how others suffer. It makes you a damn site more fortunate than I ever was.

People who react like this to something they have no experience of are not only ignorant, but they're the type of people who should steer clear of anyone who ever suffers with MH issues as all they'll ever do is try and tear them down. I've come far enough to know how very wrong you are, even though you'll think otherwise, of course.