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Neighbour is a convicted paedophile

407 replies

Abitlosttoday · 30/10/2024 21:17

I have just found out that our close (proximity-wise) neighbour has been given a suspended sentence for looking at peadophilia online. His address, in the news report of court proceedings, is not our street but an address in a different town. However, it is him (there's a clear photo) and he has been living on our street with his partner for at least a year. I saw him a few days ago when he pulled his two dogs out of the way so I could pass with my kids. They're 4 and 7. (The kids, not the dogs!) I don't know what to think. It's a small street. I can see into his living room from mine. It's a small town too. His partner is my SIL's sister's boss. I don't know their names though - that's the level of familiarity. Just because my head is battered with half-term and I am exhausted, aibu to ask what your thoughts would be about this situation. All his crimes were online but some of the images were the worst sort.
We only know because another neighbour has a distant work connection to the guy. He may believe he has some anonymity here. I cried when I heard. I'm angry too. My head hurts, but that may also be because of this endless school break!

OP posts:
HonestPayforHonestWork · 31/10/2024 09:28

It’s disturbing that so many posters are on the side of defending a paedophile. ‘It might be his innocent twin’. What 😂 Or is it just classic AIBU posters who just love to stick the boot in to the OP and be contrary, even when it’s about a convicted paedo?

ChishiyaBat · 31/10/2024 09:24

BlackOrangeFrog · 31/10/2024 09:17

Yes, but he poses less of a risk than the trusted adults.

Bollocks, risk is everywhere all the time, a known risk is still a risk.

HazelPlayer · 31/10/2024 09:21

BlackOrangeFrog · 31/10/2024 09:17

Yes, but he poses less of a risk than the trusted adults.

Still a risk though.

BlackOrangeFrog · 31/10/2024 09:17

ChishiyaBat · 31/10/2024 09:15

I'll worry about all paedophiles thanks. Like I have already said earlier in the thread, I have personal experience with this, I am still picking up the pieces with my daughter and grandaughter 2years later.
All Nonces(known or not) are dangerous to children and people who live around him should know what he is!

Edited

Yes, but he poses less of a risk than the trusted adults.

ChishiyaBat · 31/10/2024 09:15

BlackOrangeFrog · 31/10/2024 08:41

You're better off worrying about your brother, your husband, the youth worker, the friendly chap who is always willing to help out, ,who offered to come and do some heavy lifting when you guys were moving furniture around, who brought your kids some toys round because theit kids had out grown them, who waves and offers you all a lift when it's raining etc...

Majority of paedophiles that pose a danger to your child are the trusted adults in your lives, not the known paedophiles who live 6 doors away.

Edited

I'll worry about all paedophiles thanks. Like I have already said earlier in the thread, I have personal experience with this, I am still picking up the pieces with my daughter and grandaughter 2years later.
All Nonces(known or not) are dangerous to children and people who live around him should know what he is!

HazelPlayer · 31/10/2024 09:04

Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.'.

Not all sin is on the same level.

You couldn't seriously think it is, could you?

Are we supposed to go easy on child sex abusers (who have for example, caused young women to kill themselves after years of sexually abusing them. I know of cases like that.) because we e.g. shop lifted a mascara from Boots with our mates as a teenager?

If there is no hierarchy if sin/crime - why were some things punishable by death in ancient Israel and others not?

You are also preaching Christian doctrine (selected Christian doctrine) in a county that is only partly Christian; many many people are agnostic or atheist etc. No-one has to consider it valid. Do you get that?
They can go by the laws of our country; where child sex abuse, is most definitely (and rightly) ranked as a more serious crime than the vast majority of crimes.

HazelPlayer · 31/10/2024 08:56

BoundaryGirl3939 · 31/10/2024 00:05

Controversial then, and controversial now...

'Let the one among you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.'.

Adultery was just as heinous then as child paedophilia is now. Most paedophiles were themselves abused as children. They are sick because it is some kind of illness. There is no point in starting a witch hunt. It won't cure paedophilia.

Keep your distance but I wouldn't advocate ganging up on him and hunting him down. It won't solve anything. Just go about your business as you would normally.

On what planet was adultery ever considered as heinous as raping kids? Not this one.

In fact in the old testament - male adultery was completely accepted. It was only female adultery that was a "crime". And a man would only be accused of and punished for adultery if he had sex with a married woman, not a single one. Married men were free to have sex outside marriage with single women without punishment.
It was only when Jesus preached both men and women should be faithful, that that changed (and only in Christianity, not in Judaism at the time. Islam gets around male adultery by allowing men more than one wife).

Most paedophiles were themselves abused as children.

MYTH.

More females are sexually abused as children & youths than males. The vast vast majority of child sex abusers are male; so explain that to me.

Are you conveniently claiming that female kids who are sexually abused (the majority of abuse victims) don't go on to be sexual abusers, but male kids do?

Male child sex abusers - the vast vast majority of child sex abusers - may CLAIM to have been sexually abused, but you have no proof of that.
When caught, they are facing legal/criminal punishment and social ostracisation etc etc. Of course they're going to claim things that cast them as a victim, that gain sympathy, that appears to ameliorate their crimes ..... Things that very often can't be proven either way.

Child sex abusers often display extremely deceptive, manipulative behaviour, they often groom kids and entire families for years, they often gain positions of trust and authority; but you think they're not capable of throwing in some deception or manipulation or distraction when facing discovery and punishment??

There are many many people, including men, who have been victims of child sex abuse, who would never ever do to a child what was done to them. Why would anyone who was mistreated, abused, whose childhood was twisted and tainted in that way, want to do that to another person? Are they incapable of thought, incapable of empathy? No, normal people who were victims of CSA do not think that way. Only sexual predators do

Most child sex abusers are neither "true" paedophiles (who are solely emotionally avd sexually attracted to children) ..... Nor are they likely to be CSA victims.
They conform to a set of personality traits that means that are sexually predatory, entitled, exploitative, and hugely lacking empathy.

When caught they will wax lyrical about the ill effects on their life of being caught abusing kids, but when asked what they think the ill effects in the lived the kids are, of being abused by them ....they are reported to stare blankly and have very very little to say.

The are entitled sexual predators. They just see an easy source of sex that they don't have to get true consent from. They enjoy exploiting other people, and choose who to exploit for ease and lack of comeback. Their behaviour is rarely limited to child sex abuse, you'll find they are exploitative and lacking empathy and integrity across the board.

Stop peddling MYTHS.

BlackOrangeFrog · 31/10/2024 08:41

ChishiyaBat · 30/10/2024 22:07

Then in my opinion the law is wrong! Wouldn't you rather know that a nonce is next door to you so you could keep your children safe? I know I would.

You're better off worrying about your brother, your husband, the youth worker, the friendly chap who is always willing to help out, ,who offered to come and do some heavy lifting when you guys were moving furniture around, who brought your kids some toys round because theit kids had out grown them, who waves and offers you all a lift when it's raining etc...

Majority of paedophiles that pose a danger to your child are the trusted adults in your lives, not the known paedophiles who live 6 doors away.

ChishiyaBat · 31/10/2024 08:34

Edingril · 31/10/2024 06:04

So what now get your posse and your pitchforks ready? Stick a poster with an arrow on it?

No just inform the neighbour so they can keep their own child safe, no pitchforks necessary!

HazelPlayer · 31/10/2024 08:27

Getitwright · 30/10/2024 21:20

Exactly. Concentrate on parenting your own children rather than chasing a load of gossip and heresay.

He's a convicted sex offender.
Where's the "gossip and hearsay"?

mindutopia · 31/10/2024 08:23

Just carry on with life and make sure you always keep your kids safe. Honestly, there are more child sexual abusers in your life than you know and very likely with closer access to your children than this guy.

1 in 5 children is sexually abused. There are statistically speaking quite a lot of dangerous adults out there. Until it happened to us, I never would have believed there were so many so closed. Thankfully, my dc were not the children abused, but I’ve had 2 close family members, close enough to have had unsupervised access to my dc, arrested and convicted of CSA. It’s very common.

You can’t go through life afraid of everyone, but you do need to be on your toes, and very likely the person who poses the most risk is someone you already trust. That’s just the reality of how abusers work. They aren’t snatching children off the street. The advantage is now you know at least about this one.

dad11122 · 31/10/2024 08:13

sprigatito · 30/10/2024 21:28

I'm not sure why you're getting such horrible responses. It's true that there's nothing you can do practically (unless you're prepared to move) but I think most of us would be horrified at this discovery. They do of course have to live somewhere, but I would struggle with having to see the repulsive creature knowing what he was. You have my sympathy. I would probably start making plans to move, as I wouldn't be able to relax.

I don't know where you'd move to in order to be somewhere with no paedophiles nearby. According to Google there are currently 68,000 registered sex offenders in the UK (very roughly 1 in every 1000 people) and many more that haven't been convicted or cautioned. I think the best anyone can do is to remain vigilant and educate your children appropriately.

ThePoshUns · 31/10/2024 07:17

mitogoshigg · 31/10/2024 01:19

Before you jump to conclusions, he could be a twin, could be just very similar looking, get facts straight

Or a hologram maybe?
Ffs

ImNoSuperman · 31/10/2024 07:13

healthybychristmas · 31/10/2024 06:58

Is he lying about his address? If so is that because he's living with children?

If the address from the article is different it's more likely years old. Without a custodial sentence he was probably on the SOR for two years and won't be on it now.

He would also most likely have had conditions not to be in the same house as someone under 16 without prior consent from whoever was monitoring him while on the register. Living on a street where children live is not a condition.

@Abitlosttoday how old is the article?

Lurkingandlearning · 31/10/2024 07:07

There was a thread on here recently (can’t remember which one) that really brought home to me how many people have had experience of pedophiles - how many there must be for so many MN to have known one.

With that in mind, at least you know what he is and can keep your children away from him and as they grow older teach them to stay away from him and anyone they see him with.

If you moved you could end up next door to one and not know.

healthybychristmas · 31/10/2024 06:58

Is he lying about his address? If so is that because he's living with children?

autienotnaughty · 31/10/2024 06:40

I once read there's over half a million peadophilles in the uk so a lot of us live near one. You are on a slightly better position of knowing who he is.

Talk to your kids about private pants (nspcc). Tell them specifically not to go near him. Make sure they know not to keep secrets from you. Don't engage in conversation with him in front of your kids. (You don't want him to be a trusted stranger)

And if you see anything suspicious, report it.

purplebeansprouts · 31/10/2024 06:27

Edingril · 31/10/2024 06:17

And what is the general intelligence level of that area?

It was this one: LA Stories: Among the Sex Offenders

I don't know the general intelligence level iirc there were very strict rules on where they could live and a lot of them all lived together in one remote area and everyone else just avoided that bit.

RedRumRed · 31/10/2024 06:26

Abitlosttoday · 31/10/2024 06:18

No, I just share the article link with my neighbour (and friend). I would be mortified if she didn't do the same if the positions were reversed. "Oh, you let my small kid chat with that paedophile's partner with not a care in the world, while he lurked about indoors or right there beside us, petting the fucking dogs. Thanks for that. Can I borrow a cup of sugar?" Jesus. No pitchforks. Just general awareness to protect the many children on our street.

Ignore the deliberately goady posters.

Thank you for caring and considering the kids he potentially has access to, and not just your own.

Is the neighbour aware? They definitely should know. The partner could be complicit.

It's a horrible situation to be in, but I suppose at least you know he's a danger, it's shocking how many we don't know about because they fool us they're good/normal people.

purplebeansprouts · 31/10/2024 06:23

Abitlosttoday · 31/10/2024 06:18

No, I just share the article link with my neighbour (and friend). I would be mortified if she didn't do the same if the positions were reversed. "Oh, you let my small kid chat with that paedophile's partner with not a care in the world, while he lurked about indoors or right there beside us, petting the fucking dogs. Thanks for that. Can I borrow a cup of sugar?" Jesus. No pitchforks. Just general awareness to protect the many children on our street.

I guess that's fair enough it's a publicly available article

Abitlosttoday · 31/10/2024 06:18

Edingril · 31/10/2024 06:04

So what now get your posse and your pitchforks ready? Stick a poster with an arrow on it?

No, I just share the article link with my neighbour (and friend). I would be mortified if she didn't do the same if the positions were reversed. "Oh, you let my small kid chat with that paedophile's partner with not a care in the world, while he lurked about indoors or right there beside us, petting the fucking dogs. Thanks for that. Can I borrow a cup of sugar?" Jesus. No pitchforks. Just general awareness to protect the many children on our street.

OP posts:
Edingril · 31/10/2024 06:17

purplebeansprouts · 31/10/2024 06:15

I saw a Louis Theroux documentary once and there's part of the USA where they stick signs outside where sex offenders live. Seemed sensible to me

And what is the general intelligence level of that area?

purplebeansprouts · 31/10/2024 06:15

Edingril · 31/10/2024 06:04

So what now get your posse and your pitchforks ready? Stick a poster with an arrow on it?

I saw a Louis Theroux documentary once and there's part of the USA where they stick signs outside where sex offenders live. Seemed sensible to me

purplebeansprouts · 31/10/2024 06:11

Abitlosttoday · 31/10/2024 05:53

His partner is very chatty with a six year old who lives next door. The child is interested in their dogs. You think I should just keep my own kids safe?

It is all you can do without getting in trouble with the law, though perhaps raise your concerns with the police

Edingril · 31/10/2024 06:04

Abitlosttoday · 31/10/2024 05:53

His partner is very chatty with a six year old who lives next door. The child is interested in their dogs. You think I should just keep my own kids safe?

So what now get your posse and your pitchforks ready? Stick a poster with an arrow on it?