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Original poster

Not/Thanking people for attending a party?

39 replies

ThisQuaintNavySquid · 30/10/2024 19:31

I threw a party that I spent a lot of time and money organising for a significant birthday. Some people came from far away and I’m so grateful. In the rush to get everything ready and on the table, ensure that everyone was happy, and check that people had everything they needed I didn’t publicly thank people for attending. I did personally thank people and thanked my spouse profusely (personally) for all they did. Someone has mentioned that I didn’t publicly thank my spouse or people for coming. I thought this was okay as I had done a lot of the work, too (it was by no means a one person effort?!) and I thanked people personally.

I was sort of expecting people to thank us for hosting rather than feeling bad for not doing a public thank you. (I find public speaking challenging and I was busy/people were leaving at different times). I didn’t want to make it too formal but I’m not really sad that I didn’t appear grateful.

Did I get this wrong?

OP posts:
NeverEnoughPants · 30/10/2024 19:50

Oh I totally misunderstood!

Still think turning everyone individually is perfectly fine!!

purplebeansprouts · 30/10/2024 19:49

Oh OP how upsetting for you. I'm always worrying I've made a social faux pas but most the time I haven't and if I have it's not usually something people bring up out the blue. I didn't think this was a thing other than at weddings. You thanked everyone individually which to me would mean much more as you actually mean thank you to me specifically and have taken time out your busy hosting to speak to me. I would ignore this person who is either some sort of etiquette expert or similar or someone who just enjoys picking holes in people's enjoyment. "Pissing on someone's chips" as my grandpa wad fond of saying.

Doingmybest12 · 30/10/2024 19:48

What was the party for. I guess if its something you might give a little speech for then usually you'd include thanks to those attending as part of that but otherwise its just a bit of a get together and you just say thanks while talking to people and they say thanks back.

ItsVeryHyacinthBucket · 30/10/2024 19:48

Like a public announcement or speech at the party? If you spoke (which people sometimes do at big birthdays) then yes, thanking people for coming is normal. But I wouldn’t have noticed/brought it up if it was missed - that’s rude!

Claloulat · 30/10/2024 19:47

Hypermedi · 30/10/2024 19:34

Sounds like weirdness all round. I wouldn't expect any thank yous from either people really. Maybe when you said bye a brief 'thanks for coming' sounds like you have weird friends.

Exactly this.
Sorry but your friend sounds really weird. A personal thanks for coming is lovely. No need for a big public declaration.

Maria1979 · 30/10/2024 19:43

Did you invite the woman who didn't want to go to her DH niece's wedding? Sounds like somebody who was looking for something to complain about. Just have to learn how to tune those misery twats out.

NeverEnoughPants · 30/10/2024 19:41

Oh god, is this some new kind of digital etiquette borne of the internet age, where if you don't thank everyone on social media, did you even thank them?

Pay no attention op. This can't become a thing. It just can't!

RobinHumphries · 30/10/2024 19:39

Personally I’d be thanking you for the invite

Icedbear · 30/10/2024 19:37

I'd guess this is someone you (or maybe everyone) can never do anyhting right for?

I wouldn't make a speech, but I'd thank people for coming as they left, probably as I was circulating during the evening. Tbh I don't think I've ever seen it done formally/publicly, except at a very formal do like a wedding.

CoCoNoDough · 30/10/2024 19:36

What you did was totally fine.

Jojimoji · 30/10/2024 19:36

Who is the " someone" that mentioned your failure to publicly thank people? And why does their opinion of your party matter so much ?

birdling · 30/10/2024 19:36

They are odd. You have done everything right. No need for public thanks.

Hypermedi · 30/10/2024 19:34

Sounds like weirdness all round. I wouldn't expect any thank yous from either people really. Maybe when you said bye a brief 'thanks for coming' sounds like you have weird friends.

Original poster
ThisQuaintNavySquid · 30/10/2024 19:32

ThisQuaintNavySquid · 30/10/2024 19:31

I threw a party that I spent a lot of time and money organising for a significant birthday. Some people came from far away and I’m so grateful. In the rush to get everything ready and on the table, ensure that everyone was happy, and check that people had everything they needed I didn’t publicly thank people for attending. I did personally thank people and thanked my spouse profusely (personally) for all they did. Someone has mentioned that I didn’t publicly thank my spouse or people for coming. I thought this was okay as I had done a lot of the work, too (it was by no means a one person effort?!) and I thanked people personally.

I was sort of expecting people to thank us for hosting rather than feeling bad for not doing a public thank you. (I find public speaking challenging and I was busy/people were leaving at different times). I didn’t want to make it too formal but I’m not really sad that I didn’t appear grateful.

Did I get this wrong?

*I’m now really sad I didn’t appear grateful.

OP posts: