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AIBU?

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Original poster

Boyfriend has just unveiled an awful mustache?

167 replies

Celia24 · 30/10/2024 17:58

My boyfriend has a nice short beard with I suppose a mustache included but you don't really notice it.

He asked me a while ago how I'd feel about a mustache and I said I wouldn't be crazy about it and wouldn't really find it attractive.

Well today he told me he had a surprise for me for November. He's just sent me a photo - he's shaved off his beard and fashioned this god awful mustache. I dont like it and it immediately gives me the ick.

He's clearly looking for a compliment but I bloody hate it. AIBU?

OP posts:
Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 22:52

@sweetpickle2 one year.

My reaction to it isn't conscious! I find it horrible on a visceral level.

And I stated I don't have a double standard. He already told me he didn't like a hairstyle of mine.

OP posts:
sweetpickle2 · 30/10/2024 22:49

Inclined to agree with the posters talking about double standards.

How long have you been together?

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 22:43

No reply hours later. He's definitely in a huff!

OP posts:
TheNicelyDone · 30/10/2024 22:09

TheCultureHusks · 30/10/2024 18:43

Oh no OP but I am crying laughing at the use of ‘unveiled’

i imagine him striding into the room with one cloaked arm held across his face and then the dramatic reveal.

‘Yes! For it is I!’

🤣🤣🤣🥸🥸🥸🥸🥸

😂 this has really tickled me! Especially with OPs description of the 'tache looking like a sad face with its downturned sides 😆

Ansjovis · 30/10/2024 20:56

I think those who have said "he's not unreasonable to do what he wishes with his face, you're not unreasonable to find it unattractive" are right and there's not much else to be said really.

I do have sympathy though as this is my worst nightmare. For sensory reasons (I'm autistic) I would never consider a relationship with a man who didn't fully shave once per day and so my husband doing what your partner has done would be just awful for me too.

Needmorelego · 30/10/2024 20:44

I've never understood the Tom Selleck appeal personally.
Even his tache is gross.

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 20:36

LovelyDaaling · 30/10/2024 20:33

The bottom line is you don't find it attractive. If he'd had the moustache when you first met, you wouldn't have been attracted to him and wouldn't have dated him. Attraction isn't something you can conjure up at will, you can't make yourself like it. If he gives you the ick now, that could be terminal. He probably doesn't realise it's such a serious threat to your relationship.

Exactly. Would never have accepted a date if he had one.

I can't change how I feel.

OP posts:
ttcat37 · 30/10/2024 20:35

“Well I’m not shagging Tom Selleck so I’ll give you a tenner for Movember and then December you can be back to normal, deal?”

LovelyDaaling · 30/10/2024 20:33

The bottom line is you don't find it attractive. If he'd had the moustache when you first met, you wouldn't have been attracted to him and wouldn't have dated him. Attraction isn't something you can conjure up at will, you can't make yourself like it. If he gives you the ick now, that could be terminal. He probably doesn't realise it's such a serious threat to your relationship.

Growlybear83 · 30/10/2024 20:33

If this was a thread about a man criticising part of a woman's appearance, such as a new hairstyle or the clothing she wore, the replied would be very very different. I can understand that you don't like moustaches - I don't like any facial hair - but it sounds so incredibly shallow to be talking about someone who you count as your boyfriend like this.

Ilovemyshed · 30/10/2024 20:28

Shudder. I'd divorce my husband if he had a moustache, they are revolting 😂

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 20:27

Coralsunset · 30/10/2024 20:22

I don’t know why you are getting such a battering OP.

This is just a boyfriend, she’s not threatening to divorce anyone.

If you no longer fancy a bloke you are dating, you are entirely within your rights to end the relationship.

Yep. I can't force it.

I've told him I don't like it and I miss the beard. Don't think he'll take it well!

OP posts:
Thepossibility · 30/10/2024 20:27

I don't think there is anything wrong with hating moustaches. They're put on comical villains/porn stars/70's stereotypes for a reason, they look stupid. Every time my DH tries one I laugh at him until he shaves it off and I'm certainly not shallow and only value him for his looks. I would liken it to you shaving stripes on your eyebrows or something and expecting him to take you seriously.

Needmorelego · 30/10/2024 20:23

@K0OLA1D we will have to agree to disagree on that one 😂
#saynototaches

RedRobyn2021 · 30/10/2024 20:23

If I were you I would tell him his moustache is horrible and gives you the ick 🤷🏻‍♀️

Be honest

Shouldn't come as a surprise since you already told him you don't like moustaches

Coralsunset · 30/10/2024 20:22

I don’t know why you are getting such a battering OP.

This is just a boyfriend, she’s not threatening to divorce anyone.

If you no longer fancy a bloke you are dating, you are entirely within your rights to end the relationship.

larklane17 · 30/10/2024 20:21

Grow one yourself.

DogInATent · 30/10/2024 20:21

Facial pube topiary is temporary, easily changed, and carries no health risks.
(unlike many female facial fashion modifiers)

Talk to him.

Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 20:21

yeaitsmeagain · 30/10/2024 20:20

Maybe you should insist on a video call in case he's Photoshopped the pic for a joke.

I wish. But no. Its very real.

OP posts:
yeaitsmeagain · 30/10/2024 20:20

Maybe you should insist on a video call in case he's Photoshopped the pic for a joke.

AnneShirleysNewDress · 30/10/2024 20:20

Maybe he's auditioning for Rivals?

Boyfriend has just unveiled an awful mustache?
Original poster
Celia24 · 30/10/2024 20:17

AnneShirleysNewDress · 30/10/2024 20:16

Is it a Tom Selleck?

Yep.

OP posts:
AnneShirleysNewDress · 30/10/2024 20:16

Is it a Tom Selleck?

K0OLA1D · 30/10/2024 20:15

Needmorelego · 30/10/2024 20:13

@K0OLA1D no I definitely HAD to tell my husband his goatie looked ridiculous and like Gary Glitter and it was repulsive. 😂
Couples in a good relationship should be able to be honest with each other about these things.

I've had dreads, shaved head, under cut, pixie cut, all colours and sure he told me he preferred it such and such way, but if he were to say I repulsed him? Nah. I'd be done.

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