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AIBU?

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Original poster

To get a dog before children?

58 replies

catsandblooms · 30/10/2024 17:37

My husband and I have been together for 14 years and are trying to conceive but having fertility issues which means that we can't predict if and when we will be able to start a family. I love animals and would like to get a small dog, I work from home and could spend a lot of time with one.

My husband has always said he is happy to get a dog one day but always thought it would be after children, possibly when they are older/ teenagers.

I feel quite deflated at the moment waiting for my next stage of life to happen and the urge to get a dog has gotten stronger (we have cats already).

Friends of mine who have a dog and children say they love their dog but would never have ended up getting one if they had the responsibility of children first, which makes me think that if I don't get one now I may never get one?

Another factor is that I donate frequently to animal rescues and seeing also the rescue dogs without a home is really playing on my mind and I know I could give them so much love.

YANBU - life is for living and you could give a dog a good home and children will come afterwards

YABU - focus on children first and maybe a dog will be in your future one day

OP posts:
Original poster
catsandblooms · 30/10/2024 17:50

Autumn1990 · 30/10/2024 17:44

It depends on the dog. Buying a puppy, a breed that needs loads of time and exercise and isn’t great with children will probably see you pregnant next month. A dog a couple of years old and is fairly chilled is the way to go. I don’t think you can put your life on hold waiting.
Definitely get a chilled dog though. I had an elderly Labrador who’d had nothing to do with children or babies before. He quickly learnt that hanging round the high chair was a good idea and feigning sleep meant they ignored him most of the time.

I like the idea of getting an adult dog and really keen on a chill breed... heard greyhounds are brilliant. Let me know if you have any suggestions!

OP posts:
Original poster
catsandblooms · 30/10/2024 17:46

I can't see a world where I would rehome one of my pets. I always find it incredibly sad and cruel and I can't imagine myself doing it. I'm aware though that I'm not a mum yet but still it's against my nature generally.

OP posts:
EmpressaurusDelleGatte · 30/10/2024 17:45

Every so often there’s a thread where someone decides to rehome their pet because they now have a child & they can’t cope with both. I always feel very sorry for the pets.

I think you’d need to be really certain that if you get a dog & then have a child, you’ll be really committed to keeping the dog.

Edited to add, and ESPECIALLY the cats since they’re already there.

PeloMom · 30/10/2024 17:44

I have a couple of friends who got dogs before kids. They regretted the decision. Why don’t you focus on your cats? What void will a dog fill?

Autumn1990 · 30/10/2024 17:44

It depends on the dog. Buying a puppy, a breed that needs loads of time and exercise and isn’t great with children will probably see you pregnant next month. A dog a couple of years old and is fairly chilled is the way to go. I don’t think you can put your life on hold waiting.
Definitely get a chilled dog though. I had an elderly Labrador who’d had nothing to do with children or babies before. He quickly learnt that hanging round the high chair was a good idea and feigning sleep meant they ignored him most of the time.

Spoink · 30/10/2024 17:44

We got a dog and then had kids a few years later. Our kids love having a dog, and I'm so glad they are growing up with one.

Aliceglass · 30/10/2024 17:43

I think getting a dog is great practice. But please be prepared to love your dog the same when kids come along. The amount of dogs that get rehomed when a baby comes along is awful.

Raberta · 30/10/2024 17:42

When I was having fertility issues I was desperate for a dog. We didn't get one. Then had a baby. Thank fuck we didn't get a dog!
We will get one when the kids are all over four or thereabouts.

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