To get a dog before children?

This 100 %

We got our dog, he’s a Lab and is 3 now, and now have a 6 month old baby. No regrets whatsoever, he was a real support to me through pregnancy and the newborn days, still is now, he is amazing company, always cheers me up, and thanks to him all through pregnancy and now with a baby we spend hours a day out walking. I could never be without him!

BUT if I’d been pregnant and had a baby in the first 18 months ish of his life I would be answering differently. He was crazy, the training was intense and daily (worth it now to have a perfect dog), he was a chewer, he had to be trained to be left alone, he was a jumper, he was a puller… if I’d been pregnant or had a newborn during that time then I’d have been crying every day😂

Have you considered the potential additional stress to your cats from first a dog and then a baby? You say your cats are treated like royalty but you will need to manage this very carefully to avoid stress behaviours like extra scratching of furniture and urinating around the house. And that's extra stress for you on top of the baby. You already have at least two animals, I wouldn't be adding more at this point personally.

We had a dog before kids, pup was about 2 when first child was born. I didn’t really think about it in any detail to be honest. We wanted a dog so we got a dog. Dog was brilliant with all the children. I think introducing a baby to a dog is easier than introducing a puppy to small children (which I have also done recently!) just do your best with training and it will be fine, you sound like a lovely person who just wants the best for everyone. Live in the moment.

Hmm, I don’t know. Especially with a rescue dog, what happens if it has behavioural issues which aren’t compatible with a toddler? It’s easy to say “I’d never rehome” but you have no idea what the full picture might look like. Easy dogs are fine with a baby/toddler, but can you guarantee you’ll have an easy dog?

I always warn people about getting a dog before any big life changes, because of our experience. We got our last dog before kids. It was hard work when our first came along, plus both of us working full time, but we managed. Then DH lost his job while I was pregnant with our second, got a new job working night shifts and it all just got unmanageable. Luckily DM loved our dog and offered to take her for us when things were hard. They both ended up loving each other so much that it became permanent. You just don’t know what might change in your life through kids and work etc and a dog lives for 16 years or more potentially.

We recently got another dog cause DC are old enough to walk it, work has settled down, our garden is bigger etc.It’s a whole different story now our life is more settled.

We got our dog when youngest was 2. I am incredibly thankful I didn’t have a dog to deal with with a small baby. It’s a whole other layer of responsibility. A whole other thing to wake you up in the middle of the night, at 6am, to have to plan your whole day around and miss days out, never mind the cost which would have been tricky on a reduced income (her bloody food costs easily £100 a month alone). I love her, but the first 2 years were a lot of work. I would have been stretched too thin with a dog and small children at the same time. She is a large energetic breed and would have never been able to be in the same room safely with a baby without two adults to supervise, one for each of them.

It 100% depends on what breed you are considering.

What I will say is that way too many dogs end up in shelters because people get them before they have children, then they cannot give the dog what it needs (exercise, mental stimulation, affection, attention) and the dog attacks their child or them as a result. They don't want to rehome because 'they love their dog' but too often their dog is bloody miserable and it takes a serious attack before they do something - and usually they PTS the dog. And a dog dies and it is 100% because of negligent ownership.

FWIW I had dogs before children but I had a huge support network to help me navigate it. It's not easy.

You can't live your life waiting for The Right Moment, or planning to be Practically Perfect In Every Way. It's a tough thought, but there's no knowing whether you'll ever have a baby. Why make that pain worse by never having a dog, either?

If you can give a dog a good home now, then go ahead. Train it well, and cross the bridge of domestic changes when you get there. You'll have at least six months to prepare!

Don't wait to live your best life.

@catsandblooms I was in your position and got a puppy. Honestly best decision ever. She was just what I needed, gave me something to focus on with training and just so soppy and loving. Baby came along 18months later and it's amazing seeing how much my little one loves our dog.

Please don’t get a dog to fill a void. You either really want a dog or you don’t. They are a big but very rewarding commitment (for the right person) and should be treated as the sentient beings they are.

@Lelophants all that tells me is that your friend is a shit owner. People manage to have children and not only keep their pets, but also give them a similar standard of living as prechildren, it is possible.

Don't get me wrong, there was a period of time where my dog would have taken a bit of a back seat, but not to the extent to have made her miserable and only whilst we were finding our feet.

Waiting until they're teens seems a bit extreme. We have just adopted a greyhound and our youngest is a toddler. It's amazing and perfect. I know people with dogs and barbs it's all come good.

I would say go ahead. You can't predict when or if you will have a baby. Of course, I hope everything works out for you. I've been through the hell that is infertility. I was so happy to have my lovely dog during that time.

Absolutely agree with a PP about making a commitment to the dog, though. Far too many people lose interest and even rehome their pets when a baby comes along.

Retired greyhounds are meant to be great apartment dogs which is odd given they’re big, but apparently very chill and lazy. Depending where you’re based there’s a charity where you can go on dog walks to get to know them www.hershamhounds.org.uk

I know someone who promised she’d never rehome. Guess what, she’s now got her baby and keeping to her promise of never rehoming. Dog is miserable and barely gets walked :( I wish she’d rehome him.

Oh god no. When you finally get kids, the dog is incredibly stressful and nothing in comparison. Some people have to rehome and others just hate them as are overwhelmed by the neediness 😭 I’d say this is especially the case if you’re getting one for broodiness reasons.

Greyhounds are apparently very adaptable when it comes to exercise.

I had a dog before I had children, I don't think it's a huge problem. My dog was around 4 years old when I had my first though, so out of the puppy stage. It's actually quite nice, to have a reason to leave the house for some fresh air even on the days when you're tired and don't really want to. Also, taking yourself and the dog out during witching hour whilst your husband deals with the baby is the perfect escape 🤣

I know you've touched on it up thread, but I really do think there's nothing more scummy than having a dog and then ditching it as soon as a baby comes along though. It's gross. You've said you could never imagine doing that though, so that's good.

From what you've said it would be win/win if you get a dog now, particularly if you ensure that it is well trained and sociable. If you don't get pregnant the dog will be company and love, if you do get pregnant, baby and dog can be adorable.

I got a dog for my 10 year old, she really wanted one and although at the time I had no idea why people ever had dogs, we got a puppy for her. He was great, really warmed up the house and .... within the year she had a sister.

Didn't cross my mind that dog may have been a mistake or inconvenient. I remember walking along with the puppy and the pram and thinking I was so very very lucky.

It's really difficult to get a small adult dog, though. Rescue centres seem full of greyhounds, farm collies and quite big dogs. Staffies etc.

We got a dog pre kids, also had fertility issues, we adored her and she adored our children when we eventually had them, she never missed out, in the early days of small babies I had a very good friend take her out for a couple of hours every day with her dog, but you could use a dog walker whilst you get used to life with a baby. Then we just made sure our dog had a safe space away from crawling babies. I do know of a couple giving up on their dog when the baby came, I could never do this, dogs are for life.

I was just saying this the other day as a friend has just got a dog and I think she’ll be trying for a baby with her new husband soon, I would really have hated to have had a dog and newborn, it’s just an extra caring responsibility. My friend from nct put her cockerpoo in doggy daycare when her son was 3 weeks old but her dog was very high energy.

I adore dogs and grew up with them, I have a 3 year old and hope to get a dog when he’s 6ish.

Having said this, I didn’t have any fertility issues and maybe if I had, i’d have felt differently. Interestingly I know 2 couples who went through IVF and both got dogs during that process, the children and dogs have a lovely bond now and are very sweet together. Am quite sure one also goes to doggy daycare and the other had a walker come in twice a day when the kids were baby age.

Your husband is on the right track on this.