To ask if you think I’m being paranoid

I don't see how that's similar to this, as it's clearly not a car park where you collect a ticket on the way in and pay at the machine or else he'd have done it. Twice. So it's not set up for non-hotel users to park there, hence the oddness.

Because you have to make an active decision to park somewhere - you have to weigh up whether it charges, the location, etc. Particularly if he has chosen this hotel car park over a client's street.

in my town there is a hotel right in the center with a large underground car park. it's us used regularly by people doing their shopping and appointments. yoi take a tickets as you go in and pay at the machine no need to go near reception
with regards to op unless other things have happened this wouldn't bother me

As a man reading this thread it's nice to see someone using common sense 🙂 but I'm afraid your reply will be like feeding a donkey strawberries some of the replies on here are bizarre 😄 from putting a tracker in his car to hiring a pi the funniest one was searching in his shoe for a burner phone 😂 jesus😄

Why would he remember a car park? I got a fine for driving in a bus lane in London, with photo. Did not recognise location at all (a random bit of road with a refuge in the middle), but it was my car, being driven by my brother.
Just ask if DH paid the fine. If he is having an affair his actions following this incident will tell you.

I'll get slammed for this but I'd be seeing if I could look at his email to see if anything booked. In the delete bin and see if any second emails to see if he has booked something.

what a shame you come to the conclusion you do

Its difficult to say - but you should keep an eye on things

You are not being paranoid. Even if it turns out that there is an innocent explanation, it looks dodgy.

Does he need to visit this particular client regularly? If not then presumably there is no good reason for him to be near there again in near future. Regardless of what he's up to, he probably won't want to use that hotel car park again. If you put a tracker on his car (which I guess is okay if you can argue that it is also your car) you'll be able to see if he parks in the close vicinity of the same hotel and then you may be able to cross reference it with his client appointments if you have access to his diary.

Although if he is up to no good this will have spooked him and he may switch hotels and park more carefully from now on anyway. First step would be to watch his body language carefully. See if he brings up the parking tickets with some over-elaborate and unnecessary explanation. And hunt for a second phone. If he uses a regular work bag or toolbox or whatever, it could be in there. Or maybe in the car under the boot cover where the spare wheel is usually kept, or in one of those cubby holes in the boot, wrapped in something.

Can you find out from parking company how long the car was in the car park? (Perhaps if they monitor when people drive in/leave)?

I don't think you're being paranoid. Plenty of guys meet for hotel hook-ups in the middle of the day and that's sadly more plausible than his random parking in a hotel car park twice when street parking was available, coupled with his shifty response. He wouldn't need to have anything you could find on his phone if he just made an arrangement to meet and then deleted the message. I'd be hoping that I could look into his eyes and know if he was lying, but depends how good at covering he is. Men can often compartmentalise these things unfortunately.

It does seem a little suspicious, and I don't think you're being paranoid to question it

So you can usually only park in a hotel carpark if you are a resident/guest (usually/often still with a charge, I’ve noticed recently). If you are visiting for a client meeting/conference at the hotel you would usually go to reception and register attendance/car and pay a parking charge. You wouldn’t otherwise use a hotel carpark just because it was ‘near’ a client meeting, you’d use a public carpark or park at the actual meeting venue.

Seems odd. Not sure it means he is up to anything, but as a very occasional hotel user myself, even I know not to park in a hotel carpark, so his reply seems a little disingenuous.

Sorry but you sound woefully naive. Maybe you’ve never had experience of cheating men/haven’t been on MN very long!
Its very, very common and usually follows the same pattern/excuses. That’s why posters on here who are wise to it point out the bloody obvious. Not bc they have some mission to out all men as cheats.

The op said he’s been parked there twice despite having meetings at clients houses where the normal thing to do if early would be park on their street. She also seems confused as to why he would park in that particular hotel when visiting certain clients at their homes:

”I know where the hotel is and am confused as to why he wouldn’t park at the end of his clients streets”

Also his vague answer to her questioning “oh I must’ve - can’t really remember” (convenient memory loss) is making her (rightly) question him. He was put on the spot and floundered.

Honestly, it’s textbook. Nothing wrong in suggesting the op keeps her wits about her and does some digging. Why would you suggest otherwise?

If he was using the hotel for an afternoon shag then surely he would have been asked for his car reg at Reception so actually wouldn't have got a ticket

This - absolutely fucking bonkers.

Back in the real world OP, I really wouldn’t worry unless you have any other suspicions.

Remember, a lot of posters on here love a drama and love to insist that every man is unfaithful based on a word or two. Absolutely nuts. I’d never post on here for relationship advice.

That’s illegal, unless the car belongs to you.

Surely if he was actually using the hotel he would have entered his registration number at reception to get free parking. Or at least been asked to pay for it.

He wouldn’t if he didn’t book the hotel and just went straight up to the room without going to reception.

It does sound suspicious but when we received our parking fine - neither myself nor my husband could remember why we went there. Turned out we didn't - we only drove in and out and the ticket was in mistake

So he’s driven in and out again at least twice? Redundant excuse anyway as he’s admitted to parking there (in a very vague way).

If he is having an affair, I’d expect him to be better at hiding it now.. but remember he might not be. Keep an open mind

They are good at hiding it until they slip up. My married man paraded me around his village holding hands, took me to his house whilst his DW was away and took me to meet his friends. So they’re certainly not always careful but actively get off on the illicit thrill. I would think it’s extremely easy for a man in the excitement of going to meet ow/a prostitute at a hotel to not consider if he needs to pay for parking/register his car.

In my experience if your gut is telling you something, you should listen.

With people having affairs, the devil is in the detail and that's often where they unravel.

There is every chance they have a separate phone to avoid being caught, and he is possibly a bit smug that he's successfully covered his tracks so I can imagine the colour his face went when you mentioned the pictures and parking fines.

Keep vigilant!

Couldn’t agree more.

I read some of the answers on threads like this and just inwardly roll my eyes at the naivety. I think it must be from being a bit older and having seen this play out time and time again!

Men like this are very adept at leading double lives and even when you present them with evidence will lie and gaslight their way out of it.

When the married man I was seeing (I didn’t know he was married) was found out by his DW (by her receiving a fine as per the op and then digging around and finding his secret phone) he only admitted to it when she had irrefutable evidence (our messages) and even then he told her: I had relentlessly pursued him, was a nymphomaniac, he’d tried to stop seeing me and I tried to kill myself, I was thick/ugly/he just felt sorry for me (all this told to me by his DW). She only had to look at our messages to know none of this was true but Ive heard she stayed with him. I really don’t understand it and feel extremely sorry for her.

It does sound suspicious but when we received our parking fine - neither myself nor my husband could remember why we went there. Turned out we didn't - we only drove in and out and the ticket was in mistake.

We worked it out from looking at my Google movement history.

Might be innocent op. It is possible to get a parking ticket if you just enter a car park and then leave immediately, if there is no space or you are just using the car park to turn around. It is even possible to get a parking ticket if you don't enter a carpark if you get snapped by the APNR on the entrance to the car park ( perhaps turning around in the entrance). People have received parking tickets if they just drive through a carpark to then park in another area where you can park for free. Private parking companies are operating a complete racket and scamming the public out of billions. There are no timestamps which looks like a parking scam. Is it possible that your husband drove around looking for somewhere to park ( I can understand why he would not want to park outside someone's house for a long time, it could look quite weird and suspicious to neighbours). This could explain why he can't remember exactly what he did. Do some snooping on Google maps etc to check what's possible. If it's innocent you might be able to fight the parking fines but that's a whole lot of other stress!

Surely if he was actually using the hotel he would have entered his registration number at reception to get free parking. Or at least been asked to pay for it.

I agree that ‘must have’ sounds a bit suspicious, but it also could be covering up the fact that he’s been trying to get away with parking in random places for free and not getting away with it.

Any news OP

Goodness. Reading these replies it’s really easy to see how so many men get away with affairs.

You can’t spot cheating men from non-cheating men. The good, decent ones cheat too. Sorry, but I’ve lived long enough and seen enough to have learnt this unhappy truth. I knew someone, a smart, strong women, who believed her husband even when the OW contacted her. Believed his crap that the OW was a random troll. Two more OW had to appear from the woodwork over the years before she accepted her ‘not my Nigel’ was a cheat, and another again before she realised the cheating would never stop.

Men will not confess to cheating until they realise the evidence against them is undeniable.

How people can say how repeatedly using a hotel car park in the day and then having a vague dodgy reply as to why is not suspicious is beyond me. The rationalizations offered up on this thread to pretend he was not cheating are not convincing.

OP, your only consolation is that your H seems new to this cheating malarkey to have fucked up so badly, so early.

And sorry, but there are men who cheat as they need ‘an escape, something for themselves’ when the kids are young.