UPDATE:
I hardly even know where to start. I cut my mother off and she has done her utmost to completely destroy my life.
My abusive ex found out I was pregnant, which led to a domestic incident during which I feared he would murder our child. He brought her home eventually, threatened to murder me and my partner, told me he had been stalking us both online and off, and referred to my partner multiple times as a cunt - all in front of my 10yo child.
I recorded the conversation as a voice note on my phone and submitted it to the police, who have taken six months to tell me that it - along with all the other evidence I have of his abuse - doesn't meet the threshold for arrest.
I had to crowdfund enough money to take legal action and was granted a 12mo non-molestation order and a prohibited steps order preventing my ex from approaching our child or coming to the house.
I began being looked after by our local domestic abuse service, and was subsequently advised by them and the police to keep my child off school for their own safety. I had to homeschool for six weeks, a decision her school did not agree with. I had to push for them to create a safety plan for my child, and to send me materials with which to homeschool her. As a result, school have submitted concerns to social services that I am mentally unwell and behaving "erratically."
Following the domestic incident, my ex made contact with my mother again, as he'd threatened. My mother told him everything she could possibly think of about what had been happening since I broke up with him, including:
- time spent with my new partner
- time our child had spent with him
- an affair I had had that ended years previously
She also lied to him, claiming:
- I forced my child to keep my pregnancy a secret
- I had moved my partner into the house a month after splitting from him
- Previous bouts of mental ill health were faked
As a result, my ex submitted a number of statements via his solicitor that hinged on the information and lies provided by my mother.
Then, he withdrew all financial support for our child, stopped paying the energy bills on the family home (in December, leaving us in average indoor temperatures of 11-12*c), and began his own legal case, using his significant wealth to have the prohibited steps order thrown out as unlawful because he's the sole owner of the house. I was over 30 weeks pregnant at this time, and my daughter and I ended up essentially living in a couple of rooms with space heaters on to try and keep warm.
My ex then refused to sign paperwork confirming I would receive any equity from the family home, which meant that my onward purchase of a house for me and my children fell through, leaving us stuck in a huge, freezing, mouldy house.
I reported my mother to the police and she was spoken to and told to leave me alone; I was told no further action would be taken. My mother continued to try and send gifts for my child anonymously.
My new partner began looking after us financially, as my days were completely taken up with responding to legal stuff and attempting to get the police to do something.
My baby was born early via a hugely traumatic (for both of us) emergency c-section, and I have been told it was likely down to the stress caused by these issues.
When my husband learned the baby had been born (I have a public-facing role and had to make clients aware I was on mat leave), he cut off our internet connection, leaving us with no internet for nearly a month. Our house is in a dead zone for phone signal too, so we were entirely cut off.
In mid-January, my mother made a call to social services, telling them that I was mentally unwell and an unfit mother. She claimed my allegations against my ex were completely fabricated (despite me having written evidence of her acknowledging his abuse earlier in the year) and that I was isolating my child from their wider family for my own benefit.
My ex is now wiping the floor with me in court, bringing a whole team of expensive London lawyers with him to every hearing. I can barely afford one junior, local barrister. A lot of the 'evidence' against me is information and lies my ex has been given by my mother. He says in all his statements that my mother is a good person and that I have fabricated all allegations against her.
Meanwhile, my ex has told CMS he earns £9k - consequently, I get £20 a week from him for our child.
My ex is an angry, vengeful, abusive and cruel piece of shit, but my mother, I think, is actually evil. There is no end in sight to this situation, and my child is facing having to have unsupervised, completely unwanted contact with a father who she saw threaten to murder me when I was heavily pregnant.
I have been repeatedly humiliated in court, by the police, by my child's school, by my ex's solicitors, and painted as a mentally unstable liar who has hurt her child to spite her ex. And my mother has helped it all happen, all because she didn't get what she wanted when she wanted it.
I am completely ruined as a person, and she has destroyed mine and my child's life. If it weren't for the children, I would rather be dead right now.