£3 busfares will ruin me

You think hair replacement items for a medical condition you have is the same thing as getting your nails, lashes, "the works, I'm so high maintenance"....but I'm forced to survive on a tenner a week for food.

Totally does.

Of course, and they're self sufficient adults. They'll also get a life insurance payout, and they can spend it on whatever the hell they like. Hopefully it's something that gives them happiness and not day to day bills, if that makes sense!

I also feel proud that I can resist just saying "go fuck yourself you patronising judgemental twat" to some people, and I will take the time to try and give an insight into the reasons why some people make choices that seem illogical to other people. To explain to the judgemental people, who aren't living the life of the "judged" and have no insight at all. Maybe it'll help educate or at least give a different perspective. Maybe not.

But I bet you do prioritise your kid's food, just cut back your own. As is your choice and of course fine.

I'm now sure what the exact wording of your specific question is @LePetitMaman but I'm guessing it's to do with your comment "I'm saying that if you can't prioritise putting food in your mouth over getting multiple beauty treatments, then you need to accept that is the issue. It's not that you have no money. You just want to spend beyond your means on luxury items then pretend you had no agency over that choice, or are entitled/deserve it."

I would (and do) spend money on lashes/brows and prioritise it over healthy food some weeks. I even use my PIP to pay for these. Judge away! I fully accept responsibility for what you are judging me for.

I have alopecia (as part multiple disabilities) and it's fucking shit. It's something that for some reason is the final nail in the coffin for me when I've lost everything else like career, health, life with my DC, mobility, normal lifespan etc. It just depresses the hell out of me and makes me so down on top of everything else. So I pay for specialist lashes and brows and use my PIP and yes, some weeks I'll eat toast/cereal to pay for it. It makes me feel like a million dollars when I have them done, I look forward so much to having them done, and my mental health is just as important as my physical health (and it's something, unlike my physical health I can control). They make me happy. Maybe I'm vain and superficial, I don't know. I just know it's something that makes me happy and I will prioritise it, while I can.

No doubt you'll judge me and say my money would be better spent on therapy as I'm clearly fucked up, but I have a limited time left, I want my DC to remember me looking smiley and enjoy having photos taken with them. I wear nice nighties and I bat my lashes. I want to think I look slightly glamorous and pretty, I know in reality I'm more like a half dead half bald vampire crossed with Barbara Cartland, but fuck it. I feel pretty and it makes me feel happy.

I believe I'm entitled to make this choice and you believe you're entitled to judge me for it <shrug> I know who I'd rather be out of the two of us. I know which kind of person I'd rather be. I sure don't go around judging people "the minute they open their mouth". If I was, I think I'd feel a bit ashamed of myself and wouldn't admit it, let alone be proud of it.

I do live with a chronic illness 😂I live with MS.
So why don’t you try and patronise me again. You might be more successful next time

of course the poster isn’t “under any obligation” 🙄

i asked because thought i might have an example where it was possible to get help despite skepticism med community

if poster doesnt wish to answer, entirely her prerogative

You are under no obligation to name your condition.

Why is it that you feel the textbooks are out of date which you can determine, but the medical professionals can't?

because my best friend has a condition the medical community questioned any side effects but was able to get benefits because GP provided a full statement

i was trying to help 😧

Why are you asking a stranger their medical information?

Tiger you don't owe an explanation.

Why?

what condition?

Tell me you don't live with a chronic illness without telling me

One of the conditions I have (which you can see on an MRI scan) I'm constantly told causes no problems because that's what out of date textbooks tell doctors. But no one can explain my symptoms

Health conditions not recognised by the GP? So you’ve invented new ones? OP you had my complete sympathy until this.

I think we would have also ended up with a vile, uncaring government had the tories won. They certainly weren't too caring towards the less well off when in power! ( I'm certainly not claiming that this government are caring though)

And in case it needs further spelling out in Crayola evidently no one posts their personal or work details on a chat forum. And you frankly need reporting for requesting so.

I understand what you mean and have been there myself on low paid part time wages in the past and as depressing as it was/is to not have treats, getting help with what you need will help get you a leg up and some breathing space.

Was just a suggestion to try and give you an idea that if your mum is understanding to use her generosity to your advantage to help you a bit.

I'm not going to get into the whole hair extensions debate I also used to get them and I think everyone who works should be able to afford a treat or it's a miserable existence but you need help with some basics so take the help where you can.

No, that would be "we" as in me and the previous poster asking the same question to you. That's how plurals work.

Are you confused by the question?

Op if your so ill you can't work any extra hours you need to pick a less physically and mentally draining job so you can do more. Or keep going to the drs until someone listens if your ill you need medication and treatment. Whatever the illness is find their charity pages/ support groups and get help from them. Speak to pals if your dr is refusing treatment and referral without good reason. Only you can change your circumstances nobody is going to do it for you unless you ask for help and be open and honest with people. Even on here because theirs so many inconsistencies in your posts and your withholding significant information nobody can help you

Is that the royal we? Explanation of what?

So you won't say where you work. Understandable, as you're probably breaking your social media policy. I don't intend to doxx you to your bosses, but I would like to avoid directing people to the charity you say you work for. Painful to think of people swallowing their pride and coming in, and being met with your attitude.

Nice avoidance.

We're waiting for your explanation...

You really should be in a different line of work. Your contempt for the people you are employed to help shines through. 80%! How on earth would you know, unless intruding into their lives to a prurient degree-- or, more likely, making harsh snap judgments based on their appearance and speech? You sound the kind to make them crawl on hands and knees before deigning to bestow your munificence. Which charity do you work for?

You don't need a diagnosis for pip or universal credit limited capability it's how your illness effects you