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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be grossed out by this?

111 replies

PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 14:51

On a family day out buying hot drinks/ snacks from a van. I’d got my drinks/ snacks already but spotted the woman who had just served me pluck a hair out of her face with her fingers nails, look at it and then flick it off in a random direction…

I am very overly sensitive to this sort of stuff/ borderline obsessive but this is mainstream gross isn’t it?

I see this sort of stuff all the time and don’t get stuff for myself when out and about, but sometimes I wonder what would happen if I asked people to wash their hands after I’ve seen them doing something like this?

The other day in Costa I saw a guy scratch the inside of his ear with his little finger and then put a lid on someone’s take away coffee without washing his hands? That’s gross too right?

I feel like my perspective is skewed because of my anxiety about this type of thing, which I am having therapy for. As part of this I’m trying to recalibrate what is/ is not acceptable.

The woman from today didn’t even try and hide it… she was chatting to the next customer in the queue whilst admiring this chin hair she had just pulled out and then literally just flicked it off. It could have landed anywhere. That is gross, yes?

OP posts:
Growlybear83 · 30/10/2024 17:16

I'm just impressed that the woman was able to pluck a chin hair with her fingers rather than tweezers! No matter how hard I've tried, I've never been able to pull one out like that 😆😆

NoTouch · 30/10/2024 17:14

Many (not all) employees in these areas receive very little training, do not get treated well, are paid a pittance and therefore have no pride in the job they do. I can't blame them really.

ds(20) works PT in a 4 star hotel as bar staff for events while at uni and has had zero training. He just picks it up as he goes along and says it is ok which I am not sure about as he can be very lacking common sense at times!

LadyGabriella · 30/10/2024 17:13

I ate my way through most of a jacket potato with beans once to then find a really long brown hair mixed in with the sauce and potato at the bottom. After I’d already eaten most of it. Felt horrified and sick. Haven’t been back to that cafe ever again. 🤮

wowzelcat · 30/10/2024 17:12

The13thFairy · 30/10/2024 17:02

Aeons ago I did a food safety certificate. First, the importance of hand washing. There we were, sitting around, looking somewhat chipper. The guy running it said, "I'm going to give you a minute to think about all the things you do with your hands in the course of a day. From the moment your eyes open in the morning to when they close at night ~ and if you have children, or pets, or lovers, remember to think about all the things your hands do with them, in the course of a day." And then the bastard looked at his watch and timed off one minute. "Time's up," he said. We were looking a bit green by then, and I was regarding my own hands as radioactive, never mind anyone else's. It was a good few years before I could eat in a cafe or restaurant after that class. But I could wash my hands for England.

Excellent post. Remember during COVID when the hand wash signs were displayed? It is a good idea to keep to that procedure before eating, after the loo, etc. You also won’t catch as many colds.

wowzelcat · 30/10/2024 17:10

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 30/10/2024 16:15

I wouldn’t notice this happening, I think you are hyper focusing on things which don’t really matter due to your anxiety. This is a feature of anxiety for me but about something different.

What do you think is the consequence of someone touching their face and then serving you a snack and hot drink? Do you think human skin is really dirty and laden with bacteria that will contaminate and cause infection and disease? And that that bacteria can traverse plastic packaging that your snack and drink was served in?

Human skin is laden with bacteria, some harmful, most harmless. This is quite normal. Staph aureus is one reason you need to wash your hands. E. Coli is another. For example:

  • Staphylococcus epidermidis: A common skin bacteria that can make up more than 90% of the aerobic flora in some areas
  • Staphylococcus aureus: Found in the nose and perineum, this bacteria can contaminate food if hands aren't washed before touching it
  • Micrococci: A common bacteria on the skin, with Micrococcus luteus being the predominant species
  • Corynebacterium: A dominant bacterial genus on the skin
  • Propionibacterium acnes: Lives in pores and feeds on sebum, the oily substance that moisturizes the skin
  • Cutibacterium: A genus of bacteria that feeds on sebum to help protect the skin

Mobile phones are pretty bacteria laden, as are computers. Alcohol wipes are reasonably effective at keeping down the numbers, particularly important in hospital settings where mobiles are used. Humans are hosts to all kinds of microbes.

Excessive concern with such things can be a sign of OCD.

MinaHarker1897 · 30/10/2024 17:08

I am like this and get put off food and eating very easily.

I had dinner with a friend the other evening who was getting over a cold and remarked whilst eating about her "snotty nose". It put me right off eating.

She also talks about having "the shits" again related to food and it makes me feel so queasy.

The13thFairy · 30/10/2024 17:02

Aeons ago I did a food safety certificate. First, the importance of hand washing. There we were, sitting around, looking somewhat chipper. The guy running it said, "I'm going to give you a minute to think about all the things you do with your hands in the course of a day. From the moment your eyes open in the morning to when they close at night ~ and if you have children, or pets, or lovers, remember to think about all the things your hands do with them, in the course of a day." And then the bastard looked at his watch and timed off one minute. "Time's up," he said. We were looking a bit green by then, and I was regarding my own hands as radioactive, never mind anyone else's. It was a good few years before I could eat in a cafe or restaurant after that class. But I could wash my hands for England.

Clarabell77 · 30/10/2024 16:59

ginasevern · 30/10/2024 16:20

I'm with you OP. I wouldn't be able to eat the snacks I'd purchased from the van after that. I actually don't even like eating in other people's homes, or if a colleague brings something in that they've made. I know it's irrational (although there are some things that most people would consider gross) but I can't help it. It doesn't overly impact my life and I'm not young so I can't be arsed with therapy.

Edited

I’m the very same.

I’ve also gone right off eating out after seeing chefs or kitchen staff (from nice restaurants) in dirty alleyways having a smoke break.

TheHighPriestess1 · 30/10/2024 16:58

CookieMonster28 · 30/10/2024 16:57

Eugh
No
Flaky bits of someone else in my food or drink...🤢

I once was queuing at a food van and the man cooking was sweating over the grill...wiped his face on a rag and carried on cooking. I just couldn't bear the thought of his sweat dripping all over the food 🤢 although he had my sympathy being in a hot food van on a hot summer's day!

he should’ve had a bandanna on or something at least that would’ve help a bit 🤢

CookieMonster28 · 30/10/2024 16:57

Eugh
No
Flaky bits of someone else in my food or drink...🤢

I once was queuing at a food van and the man cooking was sweating over the grill...wiped his face on a rag and carried on cooking. I just couldn't bear the thought of his sweat dripping all over the food 🤢 although he had my sympathy being in a hot food van on a hot summer's day!

YaB · 30/10/2024 16:57

There is a woman who works at my local supermarket who would lick her thumb and finger to open a carrier bag 🤢🤢🤮 This was before covid and I said to my DP thats part of the reason this thing will spread. Absolutely disgusting. I never go to her till as she makes me feel sick.

Another time the same thing happened when a guy in the bakers I was buying a cake from licked his fingers to open the bag. I walked out and said it’s ok…. Never been back since. Absolute mingers

Startinganew32 · 30/10/2024 16:56

FancyNewt · 30/10/2024 16:55

I couldn't get worked up by this. If she'd pushed her hair back out of her eyes you probably wouldn't care. It's the ick factor of plucking it from her face , but it's still hair.

Plucking ear wax out of her ear or a bogey from her nose I could understand.

Exactly - it’s probably also because it’s chin hair. If she’d touched her eyelashes or eyebrows I don’t think anyone would notice. Definitely not if she’s tucked some hair behind her ear.

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 30/10/2024 16:56

I know people that handle food probably go gross shit all the time, but seeing it happen is next level mind fuckery. YANBU I couldn’t eat it after seeing that.

ginasevern · 30/10/2024 16:55

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/10/2024 16:33

It must be exhausting going around worrying about this kind of stuff all the time. It's presumably just a visceral disgust reaction rather than an actual belief that you are going to be made ill by any of these things? Because obviously you're not - otherwise you'd be constantly ill.

Yes, it's exactly that. I don't think I'm going to be made ill. Although obviously there are times, just like anyone, when I know something is decidedly skanky and might genuinely be unsafe. Most people would be put off their food if they were sat opposite someone picking their nose. It might even make them wretch. Well that's how I feel (just like the OP) if I saw someone plucking and flicking a chin hair or sticking their finger in their ear.

FancyNewt · 30/10/2024 16:55

I couldn't get worked up by this. If she'd pushed her hair back out of her eyes you probably wouldn't care. It's the ick factor of plucking it from her face , but it's still hair.

Plucking ear wax out of her ear or a bogey from her nose I could understand.

TheHighPriestess1 · 30/10/2024 16:54

OP I can sympathise with you! I remember getting a jacket potato and salad for lunch one day and when the guy brought it to my table, his thumb was literally on my salad. I couldn’t eat the salad just the thought of it made me heave.

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/10/2024 16:54

Amyknows · 30/10/2024 16:50

I went to a very popular ice cream shop that did waffles too. So I waited in the very long queue, placed my order and watched the person making it. I wanted slices of banana on mine. So the lady slices it and then proceeds with the most disgusting long fingernails to pick up the pieces with just the long nail part. Can't imagine what was under those nails. I went and asked for my order to be changed.
I think the person behind me did the same as well.

OMG!!

surely NO-ONE could be ok with that?!

LuckySantangelo35 · 30/10/2024 16:53

I don’t know why people are making out like you can’t catch stuff from other people - you absolutely can.

warts, hpv, glandular fever, scabies, flu, just off the top of my head

WiddlinDiddlin · 30/10/2024 16:51

ObtuseMoose · 30/10/2024 16:38

How did she pluck a chin hair with her fingernails?

Eh, I assume by gripping the hair between opposing nails. How else?

I whip out a chin hair like this most days as I now appear hell-bent on growing a Captain Birdseye style beard (slight exaggeration). It's rare when I can't get at the wee crinkly pubic grey bastard with my fingernails.

I don't prep peoples food though, nor do I do this in front of anyone except DP.

Amyknows · 30/10/2024 16:51

I never ever buy bakery stuff that is out in the open.

Amyknows · 30/10/2024 16:50

I went to a very popular ice cream shop that did waffles too. So I waited in the very long queue, placed my order and watched the person making it. I wanted slices of banana on mine. So the lady slices it and then proceeds with the most disgusting long fingernails to pick up the pieces with just the long nail part. Can't imagine what was under those nails. I went and asked for my order to be changed.
I think the person behind me did the same as well.

Havalona · 30/10/2024 16:48

We wouldn't buy anything if we saw everything.

The issues on the thread are those witnessed mostly. I can't say I'm too worried about things I don't see, but it is really very rare to see gross hygiene/food handling mishaps nowadays with all the food safety stuff and inspections etc.

If you hadn't seen the man coughing for example, you would have bought the bread and be none the wiser. Same for most food items I reckon. Life out and about means that people have coughs, colds, and infections etc. Don't tell me none of you go shopping with a cold or a cough!

Anyways, drama and angst about largely uncontrollable things are just making people stressed and anxious. If you witness it, fine that can be gross, if you don't , don't fret about what ifs.

DualPower · 30/10/2024 16:48

I used to feel grossed out when cashiers would lick their fingers to open up a plastic bag for packaging groceries.

The other day the owner of an independent coffee shop was clipping his nails behind the counter. So fucking gross.

BabyCloud · 30/10/2024 16:43

paristotokyo · 30/10/2024 16:18

Went to lidl yesterday and the man behind the bakery was coughing everywhere without a hand in sight.. I decided to swerve their offerings 😬

I’ve just seen an old man groping every baguette in Lidl. I decided not to buy any 😂

SoporificLettuce · 30/10/2024 16:42

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/10/2024 16:28

Meh. People touch things, including their hair, face, clothes etc all the time. In reality it's hard not to, because they are often subconscious movements. There's no point in fretting about the examples you happen to notice, because there will be a gazillion other things you touch/buy/eat/drink day-in day-out that have been touched by umpteen other people whose hands might have been god knows where. That's what immune systems are for!

It doesn't bother me in the slightest, but then I spend all day in a school (dirty places!) and will happily eat cakes from bake sales made by grubby-fingered children. I've made it to the ripe old age of 53 without suffering any consequences.

Unfortunately I had proper food poisoning- blue lighted to hospital in ambulance, was desperately sick for days and took weeks to recover. GP was a bit of a detective and worked out it was from eating icing on a cake made by a colleague at work who “must have coughed over it”.

Out of all those who ate a piece she was the only one unaffected. For some unknown reason it hit me harder than most.