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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be grossed out by this?

111 replies

PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 14:51

On a family day out buying hot drinks/ snacks from a van. I’d got my drinks/ snacks already but spotted the woman who had just served me pluck a hair out of her face with her fingers nails, look at it and then flick it off in a random direction…

I am very overly sensitive to this sort of stuff/ borderline obsessive but this is mainstream gross isn’t it?

I see this sort of stuff all the time and don’t get stuff for myself when out and about, but sometimes I wonder what would happen if I asked people to wash their hands after I’ve seen them doing something like this?

The other day in Costa I saw a guy scratch the inside of his ear with his little finger and then put a lid on someone’s take away coffee without washing his hands? That’s gross too right?

I feel like my perspective is skewed because of my anxiety about this type of thing, which I am having therapy for. As part of this I’m trying to recalibrate what is/ is not acceptable.

The woman from today didn’t even try and hide it… she was chatting to the next customer in the queue whilst admiring this chin hair she had just pulled out and then literally just flicked it off. It could have landed anywhere. That is gross, yes?

OP posts:
GoldenLegend · 30/10/2024 23:03

I once walked out of a Tesco metro because the guy on the till sneezed Welty into his open hands and then started handling my purchases. I told him he was disgusting. Then there was the chap in the local chippy he was wiping his nose on his hands and shovelling chips with the unwashed hands. Gross.

Milkand2sugarsplease · 30/10/2024 22:30

I ordered a drink in my local Spoons and asked for it with no ice.

It was taking ages to arrive so was watching the guy behind the bar from our table to see if he looked like he was doing ours yet.

I watched him pour a Diet Coke but he then realised it was supposed to be no ice and he'd put ice in - so he poured the glass of coke through his fingers into another glass, so the ice was left in his hand, and then tried to serve me the coke. He was very perplexed when I said I'd just seen what he'd done and asked for a new one - which I also watched him make to make sure he didn't spit in it because I'd said something!!

What made it worse was that I knew his hands weren't clean because prior to making our drinks he'd been clearing glasses and wiping tables all around the pub.

TheNicelyDone · 30/10/2024 21:51

LadyGabriella · 30/10/2024 17:13

I ate my way through most of a jacket potato with beans once to then find a really long brown hair mixed in with the sauce and potato at the bottom. After I’d already eaten most of it. Felt horrified and sick. Haven’t been back to that cafe ever again. 🤮

🤢 You've just reminded me of something similar that happened to me!! A trip to Germany in my late teens with my 2 sisters and the long hair I pulled out was half black and half grey. I look around and can see an angry looking woman bashing around the kitchen with dyed black hair and massive grey roots 😅😭
I didn't say anything though as the woman looked pretty terrifying, I just pushed the food around my plate until my sisters were ready to leave.
That feeling of pulling a hair out of your food is just...I can't find the words but nooooooo yuck!!

YaB · 30/10/2024 21:50

Going out for tea with friends tomorrow so I’ll have to get pissed and sit in the corner and keep my eyes closed so I can eat the food. Some people are grim 🤢

redalex261 · 30/10/2024 21:38

All these things sound grim and very unappetising when serving foodstuffs.

I'm more interested in how the woman actually managed to pull a chin hair out with her fingers. Anytime I've found a random chin hair I've been stuck with it until I managed to get home to my tweezers! In spite of frantic trying (even using a mirror) my fingernails have never served as tweezers....

TheNicelyDone · 30/10/2024 21:16

"I absolutely bat all of my eyelids at all of these things… in fact I wish I had more eyelids so that I could bat all of those as well."

Lol. I like you OP 😆 and I'm with you on all of it! It makes me feel so sick thinking of this type of thing.

I also suffer from issues around anxiety but I honestly don't feel like these are unreasonable things to have a problem with!

InWithPeaceOutWithStress · 30/10/2024 21:10

wowzelcat · 30/10/2024 17:10

Human skin is laden with bacteria, some harmful, most harmless. This is quite normal. Staph aureus is one reason you need to wash your hands. E. Coli is another. For example:

  • Staphylococcus epidermidis: A common skin bacteria that can make up more than 90% of the aerobic flora in some areas
  • Staphylococcus aureus: Found in the nose and perineum, this bacteria can contaminate food if hands aren't washed before touching it
  • Micrococci: A common bacteria on the skin, with Micrococcus luteus being the predominant species
  • Corynebacterium: A dominant bacterial genus on the skin
  • Propionibacterium acnes: Lives in pores and feeds on sebum, the oily substance that moisturizes the skin
  • Cutibacterium: A genus of bacteria that feeds on sebum to help protect the skin

Mobile phones are pretty bacteria laden, as are computers. Alcohol wipes are reasonably effective at keeping down the numbers, particularly important in hospital settings where mobiles are used. Humans are hosts to all kinds of microbes.

Excessive concern with such things can be a sign of OCD.

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I’m aware that we’re laden with bacteria. We need our bacteria to survive. The question was why is that a concern for the OP.

Original poster
PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 19:00

wowzelcat · 30/10/2024 17:12

Excellent post. Remember during COVID when the hand wash signs were displayed? It is a good idea to keep to that procedure before eating, after the loo, etc. You also won’t catch as many colds.

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I miss covid precautions so much it’s untrue. I feel like people have got worse since they were all relaxed, like they’re almost rebelling against the restrictions…

OP posts:
Original poster
PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 18:57

blueirises · 30/10/2024 16:22

AIBU to just be bloody amazed anyone could pluck out a chin hair with just fingers, no tweezers. Was it 6 inches long?

I think she amazed herself to be honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 18:55

Wrenching, lol. You know what I mean!

OP posts:
Original poster
PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 18:53

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/10/2024 18:12

I don't think most people retch at much tbh. It's only since being on MN that I've learned that some people seem to do it regularly. I honestly don't remember ever retching except as a precursor to actually being sick.

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I definitely did some internal wrenching for a good while afterwards. Then I decided to post on here to “get it out” and stop thinking about it… I mask a lot of the time for the sake of my kids. It is exhausting. I’m tired.

OP posts:
ginasevern · 30/10/2024 18:51

PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 18:46

I am exactly the same… I kind of always have been… but it’s got worse. I don’t sit down in other peoples homes either and in holiday lets/ hotels. Getting into bed on holiday is an ordeal and as much as I’d love to just be a recluse, I have 3 DCs who like going out places and going on holidays so I’m in therapy.

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Yes, this "affliction" (sorry, can't think of a better word) does get worse with age. It was always there lurking in the background but it has definitely got worse.

Original poster
PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 18:46

ginasevern · 30/10/2024 16:20

I'm with you OP. I wouldn't be able to eat the snacks I'd purchased from the van after that. I actually don't even like eating in other people's homes, or if a colleague brings something in that they've made. I know it's irrational (although there are some things that most people would consider gross) but I can't help it. It doesn't overly impact my life and I'm not young so I can't be arsed with therapy.

Edited

I am exactly the same… I kind of always have been… but it’s got worse. I don’t sit down in other peoples homes either and in holiday lets/ hotels. Getting into bed on holiday is an ordeal and as much as I’d love to just be a recluse, I have 3 DCs who like going out places and going on holidays so I’m in therapy.

OP posts:
soggybanana · 30/10/2024 18:37

It's so gross, especially from food servers

DaphnesCafe · 30/10/2024 18:25

YANBU, this is gross! Unfortunately, I imagine things like this happen a lot. I remember getting breakfast for my team a few years back. The woman making the toast had cut her hand and bleed all over the bread (I hadn’t realised at the time). I went back to the cafe to show the bloodied toast. Of course, this wasn’t her fault as she wasn’t aware, but it was her complete lack of concern that bothered me the most.

BeardofHagrid · 30/10/2024 18:13

Yeah I find this kind of thing gross and it’s why I eat out on very rare occasions. I’d rather prepare my own stuff.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 30/10/2024 18:12

ginasevern · 30/10/2024 16:55

Yes, it's exactly that. I don't think I'm going to be made ill. Although obviously there are times, just like anyone, when I know something is decidedly skanky and might genuinely be unsafe. Most people would be put off their food if they were sat opposite someone picking their nose. It might even make them wretch. Well that's how I feel (just like the OP) if I saw someone plucking and flicking a chin hair or sticking their finger in their ear.

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I don't think most people retch at much tbh. It's only since being on MN that I've learned that some people seem to do it regularly. I honestly don't remember ever retching except as a precursor to actually being sick.

Original poster
PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 18:10

TunipTheVegimal24 · 30/10/2024 17:35

Life so many things in life... best just to not think about it, and move on.

Yes. I am trying. I used to be able to do it. And I’m still not bothered about dirt - you know, good wholesome outdoor germs like mud and stuff… it’s just evil human germs I take issue with. I basically avoid eating out at all costs. But apparently this is not cool so I’m now in therapy so that I can go out for meals with friends and accept invitations to parties and things… I’m scared. I’ll be honest.

OP posts:
Negangirlxx · 30/10/2024 17:53

I never buy food from food vans, anyway. I’ve always been the same, even as a child, as I’m anxious around food, and food hygiene.

There used to be one located by my workplace, and everyone who bought a sandwich on a particular day from said van, ended up with severe food poisoning, with a couple of them ending up in hospital. Couldn’t pay me to buy food from a van.

TunipTheVegimal24 · 30/10/2024 17:35

Life so many things in life... best just to not think about it, and move on.

Miyagi99 · 30/10/2024 17:34

DayTimeRoses · 30/10/2024 15:21

Not unreasonable. It's absolutely grim.

My approach when I see things like this is to reconcile that it happens all the time, I have no control over it, and I'm probably not going to die. But it still absolutely grosses me out.

I was once escorted out of Subway for suggesting that the lady serving should change her gloves between handling one customer's money and then starting on the next customers sandwich. This was nearly twenty years ago but it still irks me. I have been boycotting Subway ever since.

They still don’t do it! People that wear gloves think that’s the hygiene done and dusted! Why it’s far better to wash hands in between.

Mygosh · 30/10/2024 17:33

Yes, it's gross and unhygienic.

But, humans have survived for thousands of years with even worse hygiene, just think about the Victorians.

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 30/10/2024 17:32

PrimatePantaloons · 30/10/2024 15:54

I absolutely bat all of my eyelids at all of these things… in fact I wish I had more eyelids so that I could bat all of those as well.

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😂

Imfreetofeelgood · 30/10/2024 17:30

I used to have very bad contamination OCD. For many years. Not easy as nurse 😂 I have trained myself out of it OP. It can be done. It involved a lot of averting my eyes, so that I wasn't watching people prepare my food etc, putting the tele up loud/covering my ears, so I didn't know if DH washed his hands, after going to the outside bin.You get the idea. I stopped paying attention basically. I also took citalopram, for 4 years. Now my focus is on more important things and I'm much happier. I hope you get there too OP. I still sometimes think "that's disgusting" - but I can move my mind on quickly. So no spiralling anxiety.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 30/10/2024 17:21

LadyGabriella · 30/10/2024 17:13

I ate my way through most of a jacket potato with beans once to then find a really long brown hair mixed in with the sauce and potato at the bottom. After I’d already eaten most of it. Felt horrified and sick. Haven’t been back to that cafe ever again. 🤮

Did you tell the staff/mgmnt? Did you pay? 🤢