Is it o.k to let your 11 year old daughter hang out on the local park?

Slightly different when you have an autistic child who has difficulties with social situations. I would say he is doing rather well given his circustances. He is part of our local sailabitity club and takes part in independent and meaningful activities. It's not just '50 weeks a year doing nothing'. We have a family trip to Asia for 2 weeks a year, another 2 separate weeks in Europe, a couple of camping trips, sailing.... but hey ho, maybe Primark would save me a load of money. FYI because of our extensive travels my son can greet and say hello to Thai, Arabic, French, Indian, Cantonese.... I could go on

Who the hell said it did?!!

Just saw your update do you have ( or have you had) an NT 11yo ?

My Dd is 18 now, so not really relevant anymore whether I was lazy in letting her choose and make her own costumes age 11.
I understand about the camping. What about the other 50 weeks of the year when you are not camping ? What about learning about budgeting ? Using public transport ? road safety? Do they know how to ride a bike safely on the road ? Cooking a simple meal ? 30 years ago this was totally expected for 11 year olds.

My 12 year old ASD and ADHD cooks his own fried breakfast on a Sunday morning. Bacon, black pudding, fried bread, fried cherry tomatoes. All I have to do is clean all the mess when I get up

We take our kids camping every summer and while we are there they are free to mix with the other kids and be unsupervised, as long as they come back before dark. That is giving them freedom and learning life skills. Sending them off to Primark to buy their own stuff is just lazy

Does your 11 do anything at all without adult supervision ? I mentioned above baking by 11 Dd was proficeint at making cupcakes. Dd and her friends also took themselves to the cinema for a saturday daytime show. As others have said this stuff is good for them.

We must have different circumstances. We are talking about 11 year olds. I don't know any other family in my area who let their 11 year olds shop alone for clothes. Trip to the corner shop ok.

Free range is meant to describe children that have freedom to play, to climb trees, to sleep under the stars, to build dens and enjoy childhood without the constant gaze of an adult or parent.

It does NOT stretch to vaping, drug exploration, being dragged into cars by the ‘nice’ local paedo and learning how to trade stolen goods in urban parks ffs!!! 😵‍💫

Yes I would trust an 11yo to purchase for example some cat ears and black leggings for a halloween party without me. School shoes ? Not so much.

Tights and hair bands bros bandanashardly high stake items if it goes wrong. I think policing every single purchase is controlling personally.

You can take them shopping for those things and help them choose. Not send an 11 year old off on their own! Who let's an 11 year old go off and buy their own clothes? Please!

An 11 year old will need underwear, tights, hair bands learning how to get the right size and make a purchase is a life skill in itself. In year 7 we frequently would buy our own ingredients for home economics ( showing my age) or charity bake sales at school ( yes we also baked unsupervised), stuff for halloween costume this week, then christmas presents for family and friends, books ( so many books) or magazines.

We are surely past the days where people go shopping just to pass the time? We should be shopping for things we need. My daughter goes to Guides and it costs £20 for a half term (about £3 per week) so if you are trying to say that people can give their kids money to shop in Primark but can't afford Guides then you are not making any sense. Cadets be it police / RAF / Army are free I believe.

Why wouldn't they have money or purpose? Many 11 year olds are savvy shoppers with pocket money to spend and purchases to make. Shopping is fun and more appropriate than loitering in parks.

What this thread doesn't really touch on but what's at the centre of it is where are the youth friendly provisions, such as safe and engaging youth clubs, affordable hobbies? Some areas have GG and scouts, sea and army cadets but what are young teens supposed to do if their parents can't afford activities? Labour could make a real difference here re-introduce Sure start as well as youth clubs.

https://www.freerangekids.com

https://letgrow.org/program/anxious-generation/

when free time and free play got replaced by near constant adult supervision. As kids’ independence waned, their anxiety and depression grew. In The Anxious Generation, Haidt’s final call to action is simple: Give young people back independence, responsibility, and free play.
“If parents don’t replace screentime with real-world experiences involving friends and opportunities for independent activity, then banning devices will feel like pure deprivation, not like a world of opportunities opening up.” – J.H.

I’d like to know how many of the parents that think it’s unreasonable for an 11 year old to hang around with their mates after school somewhere also allow their children smart phones with Snapchat etc.

I know which one would make me more nervous. Paedophiles don’t need to hang around in parks anymore, they can just just on social media to groom

Completely agree!

Sorry but now I see who the parents are of the young people I see aimlessly hanging around and getting up to no good after school.

Shocked to see so many responses about a child so young to hang around a park alone.

I don't think some of you are very up to date with the teams or what goes on even in schools these days, not to talk of unsupervised in a park.

I am thankful as a close to 40 year old that my parents have more sense to "helicopter parent" as some seem to call it I.e. know where I was a young teen and not let me hang out aimlessly after school when I should have been doing homework or other productive things.

We ha money for a Millie's cookies, sometimes someone had some birthday money. Being good at shopping takes practice !

I spent a huge amount of my adolescence in Covent Garden, Oxford Street and Whitely's in Bayswater.

Seriously ? Well that's me told then.

Because wandering round the shops with no money or purpose is a chav pastime.

Why not ?

I do think it depends where you live and what normally happens there. We live in a town with a huge shopping centre. It has a mall with loads if shops. In year 6 at primary school parents would often let their kids go to the mall for an hour or two - usually a parent would be in a nearby cafe. We could walk to these shops, it was part of our local area. Kids from further away didn't tend to do this.

So I do think that context matters.

I would be happier about the park scenario if it was right by my house, not if it was near school say.

But whatever, you all need to agree a plan if anything happens.