Is it o.k to let your 11 year old daughter hang out on the local park?

It depends on the park, who she's hanging out with and how safe your area is

My DD started hanging out in the park after Easter when it was warmer and lighter

They left once it got dark and went home

Such a tricky age! My area is pretty safe, both my dc are a few years older and I have the tracker app on their phones but I still worry sometimes. It’s a difficult balance to strike between encouraging independence / not treating them like babies and not letting them get into situations outside of their maturity levels. Which also don’t improve if we don’t let them out. It’s a dilemma!

Daytime for a few hours, fine. Not after dark without knowing exactly who is there, what the plan is, and there being a specific purpose.

I’d be massively surprised at 11 year old’s mums swapping numbers to organise play dates.

During daytime for 2 hours I don’t see the harm.

Talk to her about what to do if there are problems e.g. older kids / adults being odd or annoying, if someone is ill or hurt, if the boy does not turn up, if he / others suggest going elsewhere, if she feels uncomfortable.

Depends on the park really. And if it's just after school it's likely to be mostly school children hanging out along with dog walkers, parents with younger children, and joggers. Unless it's a notorious drug den, I'd say this is fine.
I'd attach some rules related to time/amount of light i.e. something like home by x time or when it gets properly dark. I'd also insist on knowing in advance when she was going, when she'd be back and who she was with. At least roughly.

My (just) 12yo DD frequently meets friends in the park on a Saturday afternoon - we either walk her up or a friend will call by and they'll go together (it's about 4 minutes away, on the high street). They wander around, play basketball on the courts, sit on the grass and chat - or pop across the road to Costa, the newsagent or supermarket to get snacks and drinks. It's normally between 3 and 10 of them, and they come and go depending on when they need to be back.

Our park is very safe though, well used by local families and the local primary schools have tiny catchment areas so most people going to them are nearby and use the high street. And the kids are generally quite nice children too. I think if those factors weren't the same, we'd maybe have a different view on it all.

How would you police this. Say you know that dd is meeting a boy called Oliver - what next ? A name isn’t going to offer any info unless you plan to check for Oliver on her social media and work out what kind of boy he is - eg does he vape?

Yanbu to prefer meetings in daylight and somewhere public like McDonalds but in my experience teens can be flaky and make last minute plans and invite others so it’s not always possible to know who is turning up.

My 11 year old son has been allowed to the park whenever he likes, as long as he’s home by dinner. I’m not keen on him being out in the dark though, so I’m going to have to be less lenient now the clocks have gone back and it’s getting dark so early. He’s just hanging out with boys that I have known for years, so Im not worried about what they are doing, sadly it is the worry of them being harassed by older teens that is my main concern.

It’s tricky but I would say it’s fine, and normal. At that age I always said mine had to be home before dark in the winter- in the summer the curfew was about 7 or 8 depending on where it was. I’ve also always encouraged them to bring mates home, so when I got “can I meet so and so on the park” I’d say “it’s a bit late, but you can invite them
round here to hang out in your room”. I’ll also always pick them up if I can- for me the biggest concern was them
potentially walking home in the dark on their own.

Yeah it wouldn't bother me at all, my older ones used to hang out at the park at that age

I'm pretty certain my son doesn't think of this girl as a girlfriend at all.

Depends on the park. Where we live a LOT of adult men use the park to groom teenagers and younger into county lines/CSE using vapes.

There's other places they can go to spend time with friends imo.

In my experience, sadly, park hangouts have often led to bullying and gang culture.

Much healthier to join an after school club and make friends there - sea cadets is a great one with so many opportunities and experiences to be had.

I don't know.

However I can say that my son is 11 and just started secondary too. Yesterday he arranged to meet a girl he has met in her class after school. I didn't think anything odd about it. Surely nothing is going to happen in the middle of the day. I don't know why you've banned it to be honest.

My ds (same age) went to the local Costa for a hot chocolate with his new girlfriend. Some other kids in the year hang out with new bf or gf in the local park but during daylight hours only and parents usually tracking on “find my” or similar. All the parents know or know of each other so it’s less concern about who the kids are but the wider safety risk, The issue where I live in London is the very real risk of being hassled by older more intimidating kids.