AIBU to stop DD contact with GF

Half joking ….
but if you post their contacts, plus the Turkish restaurant
You can have the mumsnet army fight back …,

You need to report the calls and texts to add onto the other issue. Honestly make sure you’ve still got dd’s phone and don’t give it back till it’s fully fully locked down.

Id if you don’t cancel the sleep over make it a no phones upstairs rule or if you can get the other parent to agree a no phones at all. Odds are your daughter has this girls number written down somewhere.

Does your dd still have current access to a tablet/pc/laptop unsupervised? If so she could still be texting her via a texting app or website.

changing “all numbers” to include which ones?

Turns out she gave our numbers out in case she needed to use our phones when we went to a wedding over a month ago as her battery was low and she may have needed to use our phone and wanted this girl to know our numbers if my DD was to text from them. Not that she asked to use our phones or even asked to give our numbers out. So it wasn’t given out recently as revenge like I thought it was.

this makes no sense

i. any event the calls have started today despite this person apparently having your number for a month. Which means your daughter must have updated them with what’s been going on, and possibly even asked them to harass you

Did she show any remorse or concern re the calls? She must be starting to realise this is not right?

From her point of view it is going to be difficult for her to admit how wrong she has been along side the grief of losing a relationship that was important to her. This thread has been great for the practical help in dealing with the immediate issue it might be worth also starting to think about how to help her through it.

I agree to let the calls keep coming but obviously don't answer so you can have them as evidence for harassment.
Or at least for so long the block so it doesn't run you down too much.

You'd like to think the calls and texts would indicate the girl is a child. Hoping a grown adult wouldn't behave in such a way? 🤷

When did your dd give out your number? Was it innocently before this all kicked off, or after? Was it in the hope her 'gf' could talk you round or to punish you? I'm not sure I'd go in all guns blazing on this, I would hope, as a pp said, that this will show your dd that this is not a good person to be around or in contact with. I'd be mortified if I was her and my parents were now being harassed because of this relationship. Is she? Or is she all attitude and aggression?

I hope you have reported this to the police. This gf, could possibly be a man. This is serious and it needs to be dealt with. You have a duty to your daughter and others to inform the police. If it was my daughter l would report this as a matter of urgency.

Let me assure you, your average parent does not accept this

indeed.

This is pretty damn shocking to many i imagine

and now to read the girl has given out her mother’s number

and it would seem… having her best friend over for a sleepover still

This.
She is an absolute brat.
You do realise that this is really delinquent behaviour and not normal?
The only way to deal with this type of behaviour is scorched earth style.

Let me assure you, your average parent does not accept this.
Contact 101 for advice.
Cancel any social engagements, she has really awful judgement and cannot be trusted.

your daughter gave out your number?

OP, cancel the sleepover

This is very serious

all this

this this this

Definitely report the calls to the non emergency police number. It is harassment.

OP, firstly, the only people I was critical of on this thread were those suggesting that you all meet up and have the catfish round for dinner etc.. All totally idiotic suggestions.

You did what you could in the circumstances.

As things have escalated to the degree they have I suggest that you A, cancel the sleepover, and tell your DD that you’ll be telling her best friend’s parents why, as BF also needs protecting.

B, search her room from top to bottom and remove all technology, tablets/phones/laptops and from now on technology is only used in a communal space.

C, remove her smartphone permanently and buy her a brick phone.

D, stop her allowance. She can’t be trusted not to use it to buy new tech.

E, speak to the police again regarding how this has escalated, and tell your DD that as she’s now involved with these people, she is culpable in the harassment of you and your DH.

The time for talking is over. There need to be consequences now, and they need to be serious consequences.

Why and when did she give them your numbers? Do they have your address as well. I'd report the calls to the non emergency police number. This is harassment. I wouldn't block the numbers or texts I'll let them keep coming so you have evidence of the harassment.

If your daughter needs a phone for the journey to and phone school then I'd get her a Nokia brick phone. I wouldn't allow her any access to social media or WhatsApp. She's to young and irresponsible.

Do you know if she's been sending the GF photos of herself? My nibbling was sending topless pics at this age which resulted it a brick phone and no computers upstairs. All access to internet had to be done on the kitchen table in full sight of everyone.

With this update, does it help your dd see that there was a problem with her “GF” ?
can she accept that the person she was talking to & giving all your details to is perhaps a bit deranged? If she starts to see that, then it’s worth all the prank calls.

I'm probably overreacting, I usually do but DD needs to be informed of the prank calls/texts and that you will contact the police if they persist. Hopefully this will stop the calls

Sorry, first love makes idiots of us all and I doubt she saw any harm in giving your contact details out

Leave voicemail saying I have switched off VM and to email/text, then switch off VM.

I am betting good money 'dad' is a catfish/the GF.

You can also turn off voicemail for a while. That’ll stop that getting filled up.

Agree with PPs. Sleepover gets cancelled and phone is confiscated. Actions have consequences for DD. Even if she didn’t do this, she caused this.

Keep blocking, and silence unknown callers. Or alternatively, you can turn your phone off for a bit, likelihood is they will just get bored.

If you definitely know she's behind handing out your numbers and thus you being harrassed, that sleepover with her friends should be cancelled.

Block the phone numbers!! x