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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Ditching BF 50th for awards dinner?

57 replies

abigailsfs · 29/10/2024 21:12

Feeling annoyed and need to check my feelings. One of my very close friends/best friend has told me she can’t now come to my 50th birthday dinner as she is going to a property awards dinner. She is self employed and might be up for an award. (one she self nominated for). I feel gutted she won’t be there, it’s a big Birthday and I would have thought she would prioritise me. For her 50th, I organised and paid for a private chef in her home for 27 of her friends. Not that I expected anything like that, but I least thought she would come to mine. Added to this, at no point has she acknowledged how I might be feeling, she just said what a difficult decision it is for her!
AIBU to be pissed off?

OP posts:
HalloweenHaribo · 29/10/2024 22:02

YABVU, you'll have a birthday every year.

Unlike this awards ceremony.

Bushmillsbabe · 29/10/2024 22:00

Not quite the same, but my DH is going to an awards dinner on our 10th wedding anniversary, with my blessing. He wasn't going to go but I encouraged him. This award is something he has worked for, for many years, we can do our anniversary celebrations another day.

It was so kind of you to pay for the private chef for all those people, but doing these big lovely gestures can then set you up to feel let down.

I hope you have a lovely birthday

LlynTegid · 29/10/2024 21:57

I was sympathetic to the friend until property awards and self nomination were mentioned. The profession that is a home to spivs and chancers.

YANBU.

NewName24 · 29/10/2024 21:55

Have to agree with all the posts above.

YABU and not acknowledging how important this could be for her business, and that the date of it isn't something she can change, whereas she can still take you out for lunch or dinner or some other treat on another day.

mumstheword223 · 29/10/2024 21:31

I can understand why you're pissed off considering what you did for her birthday. Have you not got something else with her lined up on another day as maybe a birthday lunch / dinner?

She is self employed so I would say the awards is something really important for her, so she should attend that.

However, she should plan something special a few days later or earlier though and not just ignore the fact it's your 50th!

Ponderingwindow · 29/10/2024 21:30

It sounds like she has to work. Aren’t those kinds of awards dinners are the annual big networking opportunity in many fields?

Heyisforhorses · 29/10/2024 21:25

YABU, she is self employed, has a chance to win an award (no need for thr sarcasm about self nomination) and a chance to network. You're having a birthday dinner, can she not bring you out another night or meet up with you all after. It's unfortunate with the dates but it's a genuine reason.