Ditching BF 50th for awards dinner?

Just to be clear i meant if someone spent that on me.
If that's the norm within the group fair enough but for me it seems odd. There doesn't seem to be any other plans with this friend for OP birthday either

Since you went all out for her birthday I would expect that she would atleast show up to yours.. I would be miiffed too. Has she proposed something else to celebrate you? That would be the least to expect in these cricumstances. Some people have a short memory/are entitled/selfish. Not a good friend imo.

It's all relative though, isn't it?

Nothing to be uncomfortable about if you have the money to spare. Why would how someone else spends their money make you uncomfortable, if it's legal?

As regards the OP, the date of your birthday doesn't suit your friend, so make a differenct arrangement with her.

I'm struggling to get past paying for 27 guests and a private chef. I can't imagine doing that and in my circle of friends i don't know anyone who would do this. That amount of money would make me feel quite uncomfortable

@BorderLove the vast majority of all industry awards are self nominated, however, they can be effective promotion and marketing tools particularly for small companies plus great networking opportunities

@abigailsfs as she's self employed I would give her some slack. She doesn't organise the awards and maybe her company desperately needs some publicity at the moment and can't wait until next year
Maybe you could go on a city break together?

And the pp whose Dh is going to a shitty “awards” ceremony on their 10th wedding anniversary! Husband of the year there 🙄

These sort of awards are absolute bollocks. They are done to create money and I bet she has paid a stupid figure to attend.
I would be upset if a good friend did this.

Agree with others. These property industry awards are a total con. You can choose to put yourself forward, you pay to do so and pay more to attend, then you take photos of yourself for social media saying “ oh my god I won I can’t believe it”. It can be good publicity, especially if it’s her own small business, but it’s likely she would have the same opportunity again in 6 months as they email you the chance to take part plenty of times per year.

For the “wow it’s an award” posters I’m self employed and delete emails from random companies suggesting I put myself up for a made up award 🙄. It’s not the Nobel peace prize

I’d be pissed off. It sounds like one of those made up marketing type awards ceremonies not a genuine wow what a significant achievement one. It’s not just a run of the mill birthday it’s a 50th and you went to shed loads of effort for hers. Plus I’ve just had my own 50th and people dropping out is v stressful. So on your side here op.

I don't think people understand how these 'awards' work! Backslapping, turntaking, networking, no actual merit in it.

We used to get invited to one where if your company bought a table of tickets, you were guaranteed to win something!

Half of these award type ceremonies are an utter nonsense especially the ones where people set nominate and then get conned into paying extra’s.

I’m not sure I could in all good conscience bail on a friend who had paid for a private chef for my birthday. I’d perhaps reevaluate the friendship it appears that she might not value you the same as you her.

Let her go to her awards ceremony and perhaps the two of you could go out together for dinner the following night?

It's important to her and could further her career.

You may have been pretty extravagant with your gift for her birthday, but it's not a competition about who arranged and spent the most on each others birthday!

Sorry about this disappointment, OP.
If this is one of those 'business awards' where people nominate themselves and have to agree that if they are shortlisted they will purchase tickets for an expensive dinner at which the winners will be announced, she might be being conned. I know of one where every single person who applied was 'shortlisted' and tickets for the compulsory event cost upwards of £150 per person. It's money for old rope for the organisers.
It's a different matter of course if only a small percentage of nominees are shortlisted, and other guests choose to pay for a table because the event is prestigious and good for networking.
Your friend might be being conned but she probably believes it will help her business and needs to take priority over anything else. Also the date will have been announced a long time ago. Maybe she'll take you out for a nice lunch instead of attending your party. Hope so. Happy birthday.

Unreasonable. Awards come before friends’ birthdays.

And do you actually think she should skip a professional awards ceremony where she might win one because you went a bit crazy for her birthday and feel she owes you?

27 friends?!
She absolutely needs to make this up to you hugely if she is a decent friend.
If that was me and I HAD to go to the awards I would be spending the day getting ready with you first and coming straight to yours for an after party with champagne after

As she is possibly getting an award I wouldn’t be annoyed. So I think you are slightly unreasonable.

I hope you have a good birthday and your friend wins the award.

Most industry awards are self nominated. Who else is going to nominate you? Your competitors?

I would be upset in your situation, but I would also understand the awards thing was very important for her so would just have to accept it. I’m more shocked that you paid for a meal for 27 people for somebody else’s party. Maybe your standards / expectations are a bit different from the norm!

She has to go to her awards evening its her livelihood and recognition of her achievement. As her BF you should understand this. She has acknowledged it by telling you it was a difficult decision. For what it's worth a lot of people would think it was an easy decision to pick the awards evening.

I was half on your side a bit, until you started going on about how YOU did something big for HER 50th.

I think you need to do her a favour, and distance yourself from her. You don't sound like a very good, supportive friend. You seem very transactional. Well I did something for HER.... Not a good look @abigailsfs

That must have cost you a bloody fortune

I expect she does feel bad about letting you down.

Wow, a bit entitled, aren't we? Do you realise this is an AWARD ? Something that happens once in a blue moon ? And she has also expressed how hard it's been for her, so what exactly are you expecting ? For her to beg for forgiveness?

You are being massively unreasonable. Let the woman do her job.