Ditching BF 50th for awards dinner?

Those of you who are being snide about the awards, do you have any idea how hard it is to be self-employed at the moment? If she is up for an award she needs to be there to receive it, otherwise any recognition she would get - which is the whole point of it - is lost. It doesn't sound like she's saying it's the highlight of her life, just something she needs to attend to promote how she makes her living.

As you're feeling let down that she can't be there, could you make your celebration lunch not dinner, or have a special get-together for breakfast on your birthday? If she's not communicated well then that's a different issue...but not everyone puts the same store by birthdays, even big ones, and even if you did something amazing for hers. Your friendship is worth more than this one day by the sound of it, don't let an unfortunate clash of dates spoil the relationship between you.

Not all of them, to be fair. I've judged a handful where they're free to enter, you self nominate but still have to get through rounds of judging and voting to win.

You don’t give to receive firstly!!
Its a work thing that could be that she is not only getting an award (wether she entered herself or not is irrelevant) but could be a big opportunity for her to network and get more business.
go for a meal with her a different night? Do something with her to celebrate your birthday just you two.

it sounds like a child has written this oh my friend isn’t coming to my party I’m not going to be friends anymore- why aren’t I the most important person to her. You’re acting more like it’s a 5th birthday not 50th

Edited as I posted before seeing the update.

How much have you had contact with her since her birthday? Has everything seemed normal since then?

It does seem odd that she's just texted you, maybe she's embarrassed or scared of your reaction because she knows she's letting you down.

Well I would definitely prioritise an old friends 50th over some scammy property marketing awards and I am a small business owner too.

Usually these tedious events are held on Thursdays presumably so as not to interfere with peoples actual social lives.

YABVU

No sorry I think it’s a valid reason and just an unfortunate clash of dates

I agree about these awards.

It's just a marketing event for everyone -you can nominate yourself every year and pay for a table and attend.

So yes they have prioritised that over you.

I can guarantee this "awards" will run every year and the person will be up for an award every year. They're just a money making enterprise.

*as it looks from your update...... 🙄

I think she has to attend the award ceremony as this is to do with her career etc. The real test I think is how your friend deals with not being able to attend your birthday dinner. Will she offer to do something special with you instead, and will she buy you a lovely present?

I know you shouldn't give to receive, but you were very kind to her on her special birthday and I don't think it unreasonable for you to expect to be treated nicely in return (assuming finances allow it - I'm not saying she should match what you did £ for £ either, as if look from you update that you were let down by people there!).

Thanks for clarifying OP. I agree it is really hurtful that she hasn’t suggested an alternative celebration for the two of you. Perhaps she still will. Offering you lunch on the day would go a long way.

Those ceremonies are awful, would never blow out an actual real life friend for something like that.

There's no law against celebrating on a different date. You could change your fixture. Your friend presumably can't change hers.

Well if I couldn't go to one of my BF's parties, I would definitely be apologising and making different plans. That doesn't sound great @abigailsfs

Will there be any celebs there?

Yabvu.

You went OTT for her birthday.

An actual award for her alone is of course a higher priority than being one of many faces at someone else's birthday.

She is prioritising her own event over yours - which is utterly reasonable of her. Why wouldn't she?

However much you feel her event is bollocks and in no way compares to your 'special' birthday that's not what she thinks. She obviously prefers to go to the awards evening for her industry. People have every right to choose which event to attend when there is a clash, and someone else's birthday isn't really a priority for most of us.

The OP apparently chose to do something wildly extravagant for her friend’s birthday. Why would she then require her friend to pay for this?

But networking is important. If this is a key event in the calendar for the fruend’s field, it’s important that she be there. No one imagines it’s the Oscars.

She's being unreasonable because, as others have pointed out, the 'awards' are more than likely a load of bollocks. I'd be sending her an invoice for the private cheffing for 27 before I blocked her.

Also agree. Most of these award ceremonies are just marketing people making money. There’ll be another one in a few months, no doubt.

Agree with some of the above, there are awards and “awards”.

If she were getting an OBE then good luck to her.

Instead sounds like she’s getting “South East Norwich Estate Agent of the Year - Semi Detached Category”, i.e. some made up award she has effectively purchased by having to agree to buy a table at the event.

The “networking” benefits of these events are grossly overstated, they mostly seem to exist so people can be chores on LinkedIn touting their “award”.