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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH refers to himself as my “Dad”

482 replies

GingerBreadGinge · 29/10/2024 18:22

Weird one! DH has for a long time referred to himself as “Daddy” when it comes to me. (Not sexual!)

For example if I need his help he will say “Your Daddy will do it” “Daddy do” or “Let your Dad help you” or “Your Father will fix it” He keeps saying he should really stop calling himself my Dad.

Is this infantilising? We do have kids so he is used to being “Daddy” but he refers to himself as my “Dad”

AIBU? Is this weird?? He also says “Good girl!” When I’ve done a task etc. Or “You’re a good girl!” I’m in my forties!! DS has even begun to correct him saying “She’s not a girl, she’s a woman” Etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
MyFirmCat · 30/10/2024 22:12

I can't say if you're being unreasonable or not as I don't know all about the context. Could there be a slightly sarcastic undertone in his statements? I imagine a situation where he may have felt in the past that you relied too much on him for certain tasks and he may not have been happy doing them for you, perhaps he felt that you should have done the tasks on your own, and perhaps he felt that it was a bit childish of you to ask help from him... In that situation, he may have started using these phrases to imply that you shouldn't rely on him for these things, that you should be more independent, comparing you to a child by comparing himself to your dad. And then, it may have become a habit, difficult to get rid of.

Deeperthantheocean · 30/10/2024 22:09

Ugh no way! I was lucky to have my wonderful Dad in my life and no one could take his name. Just wrong, should only be used for DC or some strange fetishism.

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 30/10/2024 22:08

GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:17

Mostly I correct him saying that I’m a woman not a girl.

Show quote history

But why are you not making it really clear?

"If I'm a girl, your a cunt"

Noone would ever get a chance to say something like that to me twice.

LouDeLou · 30/10/2024 21:59

NotVanillaThankyou · 30/10/2024 21:23

Does he look after you well though and treat you like a queen?
Referring to himself as Daddy is a bit strange and off putting...
Buuut calling me a good girl, in a deep throaty voice and having a hand round my neck... Id be cool with.
Just about setting boundaries.
He isnt saying it jokingly to get a rise in a bad way though i reckon, he is saying it 'jokingly' to see if he can live out his Dom/sub kink and seeing if you will submit to him in the bedroom. Which is incredibly hot.
If you don't want him.....tell him I said hey...

Edited

🤣🤣🤣

ThatTealViewer · 30/10/2024 21:51

GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:16

I have told him that I don’t like being called a “girl” but he continues to say it.

Show quote history

So, no, you haven’t said ‘stop it’. Why?!

Naunet · 30/10/2024 21:38

GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:08

Hmm. He just said it again this evening - I dropped some food on the floor by accident “You’re a messy girl!” He said. It was said with affection but it’s still weird, I’m in my 40’s! 🫢

Sorry OP, I don’t know how I quoted you then and not the person I meant to!

Foxxo · 30/10/2024 21:27

GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:17

Mostly I correct him saying that I’m a woman not a girl.

Show quote history

Sorry, you need to start being firmer with him. Not 'i don't like it' more "STOP saying that to me." and find something to essentially make it very clear its unacceptable and potentially a deal breaker because you HATE IT.

NotVanillaThankyou · 30/10/2024 21:23

Does he look after you well though and treat you like a queen?
Referring to himself as Daddy is a bit strange and off putting...
Buuut calling me a good girl, in a deep throaty voice and having a hand round my neck... Id be cool with.
Just about setting boundaries.
He isnt saying it jokingly to get a rise in a bad way though i reckon, he is saying it 'jokingly' to see if he can live out his Dom/sub kink and seeing if you will submit to him in the bedroom. Which is incredibly hot.
If you don't want him.....tell him I said hey...

Normallynumb · 30/10/2024 21:18

Are you afraid to say an outright " No, don't speak to me like that"?

Original poster
GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:17

ThatTealViewer · 30/10/2024 21:14

So, have you finally directly said ‘I don’t like it, stop doing it’ yet? Or still no? As it’s unclear from your comment.

Show quote history

Mostly I correct him saying that I’m a woman not a girl.

OP posts:
Original poster
GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:16

ThatTealViewer · 30/10/2024 21:14

So, have you finally directly said ‘I don’t like it, stop doing it’ yet? Or still no? As it’s unclear from your comment.

Show quote history

I have told him that I don’t like being called a “girl” but he continues to say it.

OP posts:
ThatTealViewer · 30/10/2024 21:14

GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:08

Hmm. He just said it again this evening - I dropped some food on the floor by accident “You’re a messy girl!” He said. It was said with affection but it’s still weird, I’m in my 40’s! 🫢

So, have you finally directly said ‘I don’t like it, stop doing it’ yet? Or still no? As it’s unclear from your comment.

WorriedRelative · 30/10/2024 21:14

And you have had sex with him???? 🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢

EmpressaurusDelleGatte · 30/10/2024 21:14

LTC (Leave the creep).

restingbitchface30 · 30/10/2024 21:14

Creepy AF

Original poster
GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:14

YellowphantGrey · 30/10/2024 21:13

I feel like you're enjoying his kink as much as he is now and want to come here to share it....

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Definitely not! 🤢

OP posts:
betterangels · 30/10/2024 21:13

Newsenmum · 30/10/2024 21:10

Did you say “you’re a silly boy” and squeeze his cheeks back? I really think you need to push this back. I don’t get why you’re being so blasé, unless this is all a wind up.

Show quote history

Yeah, same. Don’t get it, either. I'm out.

YellowphantGrey · 30/10/2024 21:13

GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:08

Hmm. He just said it again this evening - I dropped some food on the floor by accident “You’re a messy girl!” He said. It was said with affection but it’s still weird, I’m in my 40’s! 🫢

I feel like you're enjoying his kink as much as he is now and want to come here to share it....

YellowphantGrey · 30/10/2024 21:12

pollymere · 30/10/2024 20:17

I'd cope with DH calling me girl but only because I've known him since I was one and he'd probably do it in a deliberately condescending tone to be funny. ("Well done, good girl!") At which point I'd probably mock thump him.

Did he grow up with his parents calling themselves Mother and Father? What rationale does he give for his odd behaviour? Maybe just tease him that the 1950's called looking for a missing person? Or insist he calls you Muther in a strong Northern accent?

My DH very occasionally refers to me as Tut Wife in a Midlands accent. He says he might say 'Let tut husband do it' but otherwise would just refer to himself as 'me'... I sometimes call him Huss -Band (as opposed to Huz-bund) if I want him to do something.

Our DC didn't feel comfortable with Dad either. He's always been Papa to them.

"T'ut wife" isn't Midlands is it? Thought it was Yorkshire?

Newsenmum · 30/10/2024 21:10

GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:08

Hmm. He just said it again this evening - I dropped some food on the floor by accident “You’re a messy girl!” He said. It was said with affection but it’s still weird, I’m in my 40’s! 🫢

Did you say “you’re a silly boy” and squeeze his cheeks back? I really think you need to push this back. I don’t get why you’re being so blasé, unless this is all a wind up.

Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 30/10/2024 21:09

Yes.
It's very weird.
It is giving off creepy pervert vibes.

Original poster
GingerBreadGinge · 30/10/2024 21:08

Hmm. He just said it again this evening - I dropped some food on the floor by accident “You’re a messy girl!” He said. It was said with affection but it’s still weird, I’m in my 40’s! 🫢

OP posts:
NotbloodyGivingupYet · 30/10/2024 21:02

This is getting very strange...

LieutenantJumboJr · 30/10/2024 20:38

I’m a stranger on the internet and just reading this grosses me out and makes me feel uncomfortable I couldn’t stand to live with this person

Sennelier1 · 30/10/2024 20:36

I think this is really weird. I know couples who refer to/address each other as mom and dad even if the children are not present or already grown up. We only do that as in "you have to ask dad about that" etc. It's as if you don't have a place if not as a parent. Your husband should use your name or eventually your pet name.