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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH refers to himself as my “Dad”

482 replies

GingerBreadGinge · 29/10/2024 18:22

Weird one! DH has for a long time referred to himself as “Daddy” when it comes to me. (Not sexual!)

For example if I need his help he will say “Your Daddy will do it” “Daddy do” or “Let your Dad help you” or “Your Father will fix it” He keeps saying he should really stop calling himself my Dad.

Is this infantilising? We do have kids so he is used to being “Daddy” but he refers to himself as my “Dad”

AIBU? Is this weird?? He also says “Good girl!” When I’ve done a task etc. Or “You’re a good girl!” I’m in my forties!! DS has even begun to correct him saying “She’s not a girl, she’s a woman” Etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
BobbyBiscuits · 29/10/2024 19:34

Do you not have a dad? Even if he's estranged or passed on why would your partner want to take that role? Sounds off beyond compare tbh. Especially if it doesn't seem like he finds it potentially weird.

PraiseTheSunshine · 29/10/2024 19:34

If it bothers you then he should stop, I would find it weird too tbh. My grandparents used to refer to each other as mum and dad, not sure why 😄

Barney16 · 29/10/2024 19:32

My mum refers to my dad as grandad when talking about him to me. He's my children's grandad obviously but she will say oh grandad has taken the car for an MOT. I say do you mean my dad? I think that's bad enough. If my husband was calling himself Daddy I would be mortified.

itsmeits · 29/10/2024 19:30

@GingerBreadGinge
You need to find a response. Rinse and repeat everytime he says it.
If it is a habit it can be broken. You just have to be strong as they can take a long time to break.
Please for your sons sake don't let him start thinking it's normal and stop this 🤢 behaviour.
Is his father like this?

Itiswhysofew · 29/10/2024 19:29

I know a couple who refer to each other as mammy & daddy when their kids are present, eg "Pass (that), daddy/mammy." But they don't use it otherwise.

Lifeomars · 29/10/2024 19:29

God, that would make me feel sick.

StormingNorman · 29/10/2024 19:28

Surely this makes your vagina clamp shut? I am getting major toe-curling ick vibes.

5128gap · 29/10/2024 19:28

I doubt very much it's not sexual. He's obviously getting some sort of kick from referencing you as daddy/daughter. If this is a new thing I'd guess he's been watching this type of porn and is starting to bring his fantasies into the day to day. You need to be very firm with this, because even in the off chance you might want this in the bedroom is entirely inappropriate in the kitchen and in front of DC. Tell him not to everytime he tries it. Be as sharp as you need to. If it's repellent tell him that too.

Savingthehedgehogs · 29/10/2024 19:27

The only time I have ever heard this term is men with young sex workers. It is a fetish type of thing along the lines of sugar daddies. My teen used to talk about it. It’s code. I would seriously be checking. This is red flags 🚩 and some. Especially if you have dc.

Surf2Live · 29/10/2024 19:27

i just don't understand how men behave like this, are told it's a turn off, and yet THEY KEEP DOING IT!!

OP I have read all your posts and I see you've told him to not do it, but he keeps doing it.

I really really want to know: if you tell him EXPLICITLY that it gives you the ick and makes you not want to have sex with him (it's inesctuous!) does he keep doing it?

Because if he did, then that behaviour is more important to him than sex, and from all we've been told, sex is one of the most important things to most men.

hazelnutvanillalatte · 29/10/2024 19:27

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 29/10/2024 18:34

Urgh. My ex used to call me 'mummy' at all times, ie not just when the kids were about but ALL THE TIME. Like 'mummy, come in here,' 'what's for dinner, mum?'

Asked him to stop. He did not. He is an ex.

I started a thread on this once. One of my major pet peeves is being called Mum/Mummy by other adults.

Shufflebumnessie · 29/10/2024 19:27

Ugh! That makes my skin crawl. I'm not sure I'd be able to come back from the ick factor it would create. I'd be very firmly correcting him every time he did it & issuing an ultimatum if he didn't rectify his speech within a very short time frame.

Ivyiris · 29/10/2024 19:25

🤢

DamnitImTired · 29/10/2024 19:25

I’ve broken up with a boyfriend because he wouldn’t let the various foods on his plate touch each other and only eat them one by one. Ie all the carrots then all the peas then all the meat

This however is worse 🤢

user2848502016 · 29/10/2024 19:22

No that's not normal at all!
DH sometimes refer to eachother as mum or dad when the DC are there - "what do you think Mum?" type of thing.
But not when we're alone!!

Original poster
GingerBreadGinge · 29/10/2024 19:21

CombatBarbie · 29/10/2024 19:18

What do you know about his past sexual relationships. This is 100% a DDlg kink language.

I hope not!

OP posts:
CombatBarbie · 29/10/2024 19:18

What do you know about his past sexual relationships. This is 100% a DDlg kink language.

aviatorsrus · 29/10/2024 19:17

JazzyJelly · 29/10/2024 18:32

Stop doing anything around the house. If he's the parent and you're the child, it's his responsibility!

This would be my approach!!
And then give him a hard stare and tell him unless this nonsense ends, I am leaving him!!
Fool!

LadyGabriella · 29/10/2024 19:16

Bizarre

Fannyfiggs · 29/10/2024 19:16

Next time he does it say 'did you hear that?' 'That was the sound of my vag slamming shut and if you continue to do it it'll be the sound of the door slamming shut with you on the other side. Do you understand?'

DiddysLube · 29/10/2024 19:16

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Onestepfromendingitall · 29/10/2024 19:14

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This 🤢

Onestepfromendingitall · 29/10/2024 19:12

I would honestly be worried. Does he have some kind of warped incest fetish or something? Or does he have you behave like a child in the bedroom?

SoporificLettuce · 29/10/2024 19:12

no, that’s weird

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