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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH refers to himself as my “Dad”

482 replies

GingerBreadGinge · 29/10/2024 18:22

Weird one! DH has for a long time referred to himself as “Daddy” when it comes to me. (Not sexual!)

For example if I need his help he will say “Your Daddy will do it” “Daddy do” or “Let your Dad help you” or “Your Father will fix it” He keeps saying he should really stop calling himself my Dad.

Is this infantilising? We do have kids so he is used to being “Daddy” but he refers to himself as my “Dad”

AIBU? Is this weird?? He also says “Good girl!” When I’ve done a task etc. Or “You’re a good girl!” I’m in my forties!! DS has even begun to correct him saying “She’s not a girl, she’s a woman” Etc.

AIBU?

OP posts:
category12 · 29/10/2024 21:47

Stop shagging him.

HairyPie · 29/10/2024 21:42

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MumOfOneAllAlone · 29/10/2024 21:41

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🤭

Season 18 Nbc GIF by America's Got Talent
supersop60 · 29/10/2024 21:37

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I doubt he was doing it when they first met. Things evolve over time.
Why are you so accusatory?

Bedtimewoes91 · 29/10/2024 21:32

I C K

Original poster
GingerBreadGinge · 29/10/2024 21:32

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 29/10/2024 21:29

Yes, what next, OP? What are your options? I guess you could repeatedly tell him - each time they happen - that these 'Daddy' comments are weird and you're finding him less and less attractive as man and as a partner the more he does it. He seems to think he's being funny so a more light hearted/subtle response from you may not make much impression.

Show quote history

Yeah I do think that he thinks he is being funny when he says it.

OP posts:
StopStartStop · 29/10/2024 21:32

OP, I got interested in Joni Mitchell and forgot the point... My first thought was that you could act up when you're in bed together, be his naughty little girl, see how he likes it. But on reflection, he'd probably like it a lot and you'd then have to live with the consequences of knowing you're with a pervert, and wondering what the heck he gets up to when he isn't under supervision. People are allowed fantasies, of course, and he might never take it further than his dreams. I don't know. It doesn't sound too good.

Sleepysleepycoffeecoffee · 29/10/2024 21:31

I think I’d find it less weird if it was sexual, and I hate the thought of that too

Hyperbowl · 29/10/2024 21:31

My friends OH refers to himself as daddy exactly in the way you describe. He’s 20 years older than her and it’s fucking gross and embarrassing. He’s also an abusive cunt as well but this bit obviously doesn't apply to you. It’s a control thing for him, infantilising her and over inflating his own sense of self worth and importance. Makes me cringe to the depths of my soul. Repulsive. 🤢 🤮

Original poster
GingerBreadGinge · 29/10/2024 21:31

ThinWomansBrain · 29/10/2024 21:29

On the plus side, does he prepare all your meals, do your washing, tidy up after you...?

still gross

I wish!

OP posts:
HairyPie · 29/10/2024 21:29

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ThinWomansBrain · 29/10/2024 21:29

On the plus side, does he prepare all your meals, do your washing, tidy up after you...?

still gross

nam3c4ang3 · 29/10/2024 21:29

Yuck what a fucking weirdo he is! Why does he do it - have you asked him!

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 29/10/2024 21:29

Bumperjumper · 29/10/2024 21:08

Look it’s weird op. But up to you if you can tolerate it or not. Doesn’t sound like you can… So what next?

Yes, what next, OP? What are your options? I guess you could repeatedly tell him - each time they happen - that these 'Daddy' comments are weird and you're finding him less and less attractive as man and as a partner the more he does it. He seems to think he's being funny so a more light hearted/subtle response from you may not make much impression.

Ellie56 · 29/10/2024 21:27

OMG what a weirdo. Yuck. I couldn't put up with that. I'd have to dump him.

StopStartStop · 29/10/2024 21:26

doginabowtie · 29/10/2024 20:35

In theory I love the song Carey by Joni Mitchell — fab tune beautifully sung — BUT the chorus, repeated several times, goes:

Oh Carey, get out your cane (Carey, get out your cane)
And I'll put on some silver (I'll put on some silver)
Oh, you're a mean old Daddy
But I like you fine

And it gives me the ick every time and I have to turn it off. What was that 60s thing for amazing women to call their mediocre men 'daddy'? I hate it and I just can't forgive her for it.

Here it is.

Great song.
'Daddy' was in use for 'partner' (or even 'man') by hippies, I recall. They're even older than me, and we didn't see things the way they are seen today. There were plenty of 'ick' songs, though. Classic - Gary Puckett and Union Gap, 'Young Girl'.

MumOfOneAllAlone · 29/10/2024 21:25

Maybe he wants you to call him that in bed op?? 😄

The sexual side of it wouldn't bother me tbh 🤭☺️ but doing throughout the day is WEIRD x

JohnSt1 · 29/10/2024 21:17

It's creepy, but not as bad as "Baby" being used in every second pop song for the last 50 years.

Original poster
GingerBreadGinge · 29/10/2024 21:12

FeetupTvon · 29/10/2024 21:09

This is sexual, without a doubt.

Do you have a daughter in your household?

No, only sons.

OP posts:
FeetupTvon · 29/10/2024 21:09

This is sexual, without a doubt.

Do you have a daughter in your household?

Bumperjumper · 29/10/2024 21:08

Look it’s weird op. But up to you if you can tolerate it or not. Doesn’t sound like you can… So what next?

Bananainpj · 29/10/2024 21:08

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ThisIsSockward · 29/10/2024 21:06

If there are consequences to his saying it, maybe he'll be more motivated to break his habit (assuming he's not just using that as an excuse to pacify you). I'd tell him, when it's just the two of you, that you find this weird habit a massive libido killer. If he continues with it, he should expect a noticeable decrease in your level of attraction to him (and all that comes with it).

Original poster
GingerBreadGinge · 29/10/2024 21:04

I do call refer to him as “Daddy” in front of the kids and he says “Mammy” etc but this is him referring to himself as MY Daddy/Father “Your Father/Daddy will sort it/Daddy do/Let your Dad fix it for you” He makes references that it’s weird that he says it and he should probably not say that but still does it.

OP posts:
IDontHateRainbows · 29/10/2024 21:00

I call DH daddy in front of the kids as in, Daddy it's Xs bedtime now isn't it. But never when we are alone.

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