Why are all MILs so horrible?

It happens when all the horrible DiLs get older and their sons get married.

My MIL was amazing!!!!!

Such a wonderful lady who welcomed me into the family as soon as she met me.

When she passed away I was devastated but I was asked to speak about her at her funeral which was very special. I miss her very much and I hate the fact our children have had to grow up without her in their lives.

You mention never hearing anything bad about maternal mums….. well that’s because this site is probably 95% female. I’m sure if you found a site that was 95% male you’d find a LOT of posts from men moaning about the wife’s mother!

100% agree. Mine is a very loving, caring woman (more than my own DM). I have a wonderful relationship with her .

I loved my MIL and miss her terribly since she died, same with FIL.

I do read some horror stories on here though!

This is the complete opposite in my case. My own siblings show zero interest in my children and haven't met my youngest. My husbands siblings are fantastic auntie and uncles and his dad is a wonderful, invested grandfather.

My own parents are wonderful but I'd definitely say my mum was more opinionated and judgmental than my own MIL.

I adore my DIL, so I hope she's not secretly thinking I'm a proper witch.

Unfortunately mine is hateful. Jealous, nasty and domineering. I have tried to get on with her to no avail, oh and she’s racist too. But it’s not just me, she has no friends and lives through her children who are increasingly being suffocated note that they are older. It’s difficult because DILs are forced to interact with vile MILs with whom they have no friendship.

My MIL is wonderful

And if anyone thinks that an MIL is overbearing for wanting to hold their own grandchild then I think the problem lies with the DIL not the MIL.

It's not a concept I understand. I have a baby and I can't give him to my in-laws or my parents fast enough to hold when I see them. They always ask to give him a bottle too which is a double win in my book. Gives me longer hands free to enjoy a coffee in peace!

Same

Mine is a horrible narcissistic bitch. Went no contact last year. However my step nan was amazing (step dad's mum) to me and my mum. My great grandmother was amazing to all her in laws, they all called her mum. I have 2 boys, determined to be the best MIL ever.

I love BOTH of my mums! Wouldn’t be without them. My MIL is a fabulous person who I honestly couldn’t be without as she keeps me afloat trying to juggle life!

I was going to say this. We only ever get one side of the story on here and I'd be inclined to say half the time it's the DIL too.

I absolutely adore my MIL, I always think I've won the jackpot with my in-laws. I couldn't wait for them both times to see my children and witness the joy of them meeting their grandchildren. My SIL who is my husbands brothers wife also gets on great with my MIL.

In fact in real life, most people I know overwhelming get on with their in-laws.

Oh, that's ok, I have a horrible mother. Just for balance, you understand.

I don’t know. Why are all DILs so horrible?

Honestly? More than half the time its the Daughters-in -Law who are the problem.

I have a brilliant MIL, not quite as close as my own mum and I, but it’s pretty good. She likes me and I like her. Sometimes she does something that’s totally off the wall, but DH and I just laugh and help her out. She’s an amazing grandmother to our children and although she’s not the world’s best cook, she makes nice enough meals (I can always grab something on the way home) and tries her best. Genuinely a lovely lady and a nice person. Nothing wrong with that. That’s exactly how I want to be!

It's the dynamic, some mils find it easier to get in with a man than another woman

My ex MIL and I didn’t get on right away but we did form a good friendship until ex H and I separated. She’s a fab grandma to DS even if we aren’t close now.

My current MIL is so lovely. She’s just amazing, generous, supportive, funny, kind. Just so lovely. Treats DS (her step grandson) exactly as her other grandchildren. Wonderful woman. I adore her.

Does something happen to the mums of sons that makes them awful when they become a MIL?

Yeah, but if you are a mother of girls then you remain the epitome of sweetness and love 🙄

Some people are simply not nice. Some of those become MILs.

@Standin many reasons!
Jelsousy is the main one, being pushed out (their perspective) and it's usually the really bossy ones who can't take no that are the problems.

The easy going understanding ones are usually fine.
They ask questions, they don't "foist", force use emotional blackmail etc.

I'm sure it's been said but what help and advise do you need if you have a great mill?

I have a great mil, so do I. Conversation ends.

Unfortunately a bad mil can break up a marriage, cause deep issues and problems (fil of course as well) and be a huge problem some couples can't overcome.

They can destroy relations between husband and wife and mums and children.
So yes people who suffer come here to get help (like me)

To free ourselves we often have to challenge our own beliefs and morals and values because all most of us want is a happy family including grandparents who love our dc and our husbands and partners.

I don’t see how anyone can only be an awful MiL. We are the same person who is or isn’t a great mother.

My MIL is lovely. Some MIL are toxic but I also think in many cases its give and take. Some MIL described on MN sound generally terrible but some DIL also sound toxic and unwilling to compromise imo

I also love my MIL. She is kind and warm and lovely to talk to. She absolutely adores our children and makes a huge effort to spend time with them and do loads of lovely activities with them.

We don’t live near them so they don’t do childcare but they live round the corner from my DH’s brother and his family and they see them and their kids almost every day. She is also a lovely MIL to my SisIL.

my SIL (married to DBro) gets on brilliantly with my mum (who is also lovely).