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Original poster

Why are all MILs so horrible?

289 replies

Janey638 · 29/10/2024 18:13

Does something happen to the mums of sons that makes them awful when they become a MIL? For years I’ve been a bit of a lurker on this site and I’m shocked by the amount of MIL posts, hardly any about the maternal mum. It looks like MILs are too overbearing if they want to hold a new baby, or too remote if they keep their distance. As a mum to three boys this all really depresses me. Literally does everyone hate their MIL?

OP posts:
MereDintofPandiculation · 29/10/2024 18:18

Posted in reaction to your question after reading only half your post, sorry, and edited to delete my first response (which can be seen by clicking the edited button)

Basically, most people are more tolerant of their mums, because they've grown up with them, most people on here are daughters, and most have male partners, so MILs on here are mothers of sons.

Dreamerinme · 29/10/2024 18:18

My late MIL was absolutely lovely but my DM was a nasty, narcissistic cow who I eventually when NC with.

Also, people only post when they’ve got something negative to say - few come on MN to say how great their MIL is, so views could be skewed.

I only have a DS and I hope that one day I can be a MIL like my own MIL was.

Rhaidimiddim · 29/10/2024 18:18

I got on well with my ex's mum, even after the divorce. And I get on very well with my DMIL.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 29/10/2024 18:18

My husband is one of three boys and we are all very close to my lovely MIL.

IBlameTheDog · 29/10/2024 18:17

Yeah I did. Whenever I got sad about my husband having an affair and leaving when I was 8 and a half months pregnant, I just reminded myself I'd never have to put up with her crap, or even see her, ever again.

Cushioned the blow substantially.

TTPDTS · 29/10/2024 18:17

Mine is lovely!!

I think a lot of threads are started by people having problems, so you're more likely to read bad MIL / DIL stories than happy ones.

ChimpanzeeThatMonkeyNews · 29/10/2024 18:17

I love mine. She's brilliant, and the best MIL in the world.

Icedbear · 29/10/2024 18:17

KimberleyClark · 29/10/2024 18:16

They aren’t.

My feelings aren't real? OK

AngelicInnocent · 29/10/2024 18:17

I had a wonderful MIL and got on with her better than my own mum. I am now a MIL and seem to be doing OK so far.

As with anything else, people talk about their problems. Highly unlikely I would start a thread to say I have no problems with my MIL. In general, try being a decent person and remember that once they are grown up, you don't get to tell them what to do.

KimberleyClark · 29/10/2024 18:16

They aren’t.

Icedbear · 29/10/2024 18:16

I had a terrible MIL, but as my sons have become adults and have serious girlfriends, I am starting to have some sympathy for her.

Most horrifically, I'm starting to recognise some of her behaviour in myself. I try really hard not to let it show, but those feelings of loss and jealously are real.

InformerYaNoSayDaddyMeSnowMeIGoBlameALickyBoom · 29/10/2024 18:16

Nah, my DIL loves me, so does my dds partner, and I love my boyfriends mum.

People come on here to vent though so MN always gets posts of problems, nobody really comes on just to say things are great.

Original poster
Janey638 · 29/10/2024 18:15

Girlmum2024 · 29/10/2024 18:14

I LOVE mine. More than anyone in the world and more than my own mum. She is amazing!

This is so lovely to hear!!!

OP posts:
Girlmum2024 · 29/10/2024 18:14

I LOVE mine. More than anyone in the world and more than my own mum. She is amazing!

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