Why are all MILs so horrible?

Mine's brilliant!

My late MIL was lovely. I am now a MIL to two DIL and one SIL, we get along fine , I love them all and was so happy to welcome them into our family.

Most people find thier own mum supremely annoying too, but they either found a way to rub along during the teenage boundary pushing stage, or forgive them as they know thier mum love them and raised them and put up with thidr awkward behaviour too.

Do you not know any other mothers of boys who are MiLs?

Why would you think ALL of them are awful?

On the law of averages, I bet there are just as many horrible DiLs out there as there are horrible MiLs, but we only ever hear one side of the story.

You haven’t met mine! Ha! I thought the same as you when there was problems with her and her ex DIL, felt so sorry for her, until I became her target for approaching her over some awful comments she was making about my children.

The narcissistic rage is a real thing, as are the lies, bullying and defamation. I’ve never seen anything like it and its caused a lot of trauma for me, my husband and kids.

I’m sure there are some awful DILs, but if the man was raised properly, has at least half a brain and loves his ‘innocent’ mum, then he’d put a stop to it.

There’s no smoke without fire. Most of us wish we could have a second mum and a wonderful grandmother for our children. Who wouldn’t want that support?

My MIL is nice. I think people complain about MILs because it's one of the relationships in life you don't have much choice in and you often can't get distance, even if you want it.

With your own family most people learn to deal with them over time or can tell them when they're being unreasonable without damaging the relationship. With friendships you mostly just take a step back or drop them when they aren't working out. With your partner's family, you can get stuck with them but can't just tell them off. And the MIL is the one in your partner's family you have to deal with most (you can usually avoid siblings-in-law and even FILs) -- and the situation with the MIL often gets exaggerated when you have their grandchildren.

Not all mothers in law. Husband and I both got on really well with our respective mothers in law. I get on very well with both my daughters in law. Both my sons get on well with their mothers (and fathers) in law.

My MIL was fine.

FIL in the other hand....

My MIL and FIL are the best 🌟

DH is well aware that I wish they were my parents 😅 and to all intents and purposes, they are like parents to me ❤️

My MIL is amazing, we get on really well. She’s more of a mother figure to me than my own mother.

I love my (ex) Mil so much we still message and meet for coffee and she invites me to family celebrations (which I went to with joy until ex H got a new partner and, as I'm not a psychopath, I stepped back because it didn't seem fair to her). I've used her as my template and have absolutely fantastic relationships with two of my Dil, they are a huge bonus in my life and hope we can communicate well enough that any problems will be short lived. No. three Dil though has spent a long time trying to remove DS from our family through lies, manipulation and basic tantrums. I'm sure were she to post on here her thoughts would be different. Still I welcome her when she deigns to allow my son to visit (once a year) and I hide the leaflets I have on coercive control.

Mine was wonderful and I really miss her now she's dead.

They are just people. They can't ALL be horrible! You might even be one, one day!

My MIL is lovely and supportive and we get on well.

I don't really understand all the negativity.

Mine is wonderful, and I’ve never had a bad relationship with any past boyfriend’s parents.

I do think women sometimes get prickly with in laws when they’re pregnant / post partum. I definitely remember feeling it a bit and have read countless threads that seem to be similar. I didn’t take anything to heart, was grateful to have them even if I didn’t always love the input. And not long down the line we’re as grand as ever. I’ve always been conscious that my partner is her baby and my babies mil’s her flesh and blood and honour that.

I think it depends on what type of person they are.
I'd love to have a good relationship with mine... But she has no interest in my husband or kids, so I therefore don't care about her either.

Mine is great. Funny, helpful, kind. And I don’t behave like a dick to her by treating her as the inferior grandparent or expecting her to clean my house while I sit on my arse when she visits. In fact, my mum gave the very first bottle (as my gran did for me) and MIL pushed the pram out the hospital. It’s called give and take.

My MIL was a million times better than my mum. She was intelligent, sane, kind and a good mother for a start.

Mine is wonderful, I adore her. I have two boys and I hope I can be half the MIL she is to their future partners.

I love my MIL dearly. I even call her mum. I get on better with her than my own mum. She’s a wonderful person and I’m so grateful to have her in my life.

They aren't all. More often than not I see an unreasonable MIL coupled with an unreasonable DIL - it often takes two to tango!

They're not. A lot of the time it's their DiL's who are awful and think the DS is someone who should be fought over, showing their own insecurity. I miss my MIL everyday.

They aren't all awful. You get far more threads on here (and on most forums) when people are having rows, or when someone is rude/mean, or when something major happens. The other time people post is when something or someone is brilliant.

My MIL is amazing. I posted a thread about her a long while back when she did something spectacularly kind and sweet.

Generally though people who get on with their MIL don't post because "AIBU to say MIL is alright" or "AIBU to say MIL and ai plod along nicely - not besties but not enemies" just doesn't necessitate a thread.