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Passive father, son is 5 and a half years old and he never took him out by himself

62 replies

elenna55 · 29/10/2024 17:19

Hi everyone, I wanted to see a fresh perspective on my concern that I have over my husband who is being a very passive parent. I have mentioned this to my husband on various occasions, and I said that I see it odd that he doesn't want to go out with his son on his own. He will only come if I ask him to come with us, and even when his own son asks him to come along with us to the park he flatly refuses.

Our son is 5 and a half years old, and my husband has never been out with him on his own even once! He doesn't take him to any extracurricular activities, he doesn't plan any holidays for him. He says that a 5 year old goes to school and he doesn't need anything else. That he won't go on a family holiday as it is too much stress. Therefore, I am lucky enough that my mum goes with us and we do travel with her instead of my husband. He is very passive and would spend all of his free time sitting, either on the sofa, in front of the laptop or sitting in the garden always with his headphones on!

He doesn't contribute financially either, as all the cost for travelling, outing and extracurricular activities I cover.

I wanted to see if I am the one being unreasonable for wanting the father to actually participate in his son's life outside the house, and every now and then take him to the park or soft play. Just wanted to clarify, that the father plenty of free time that he could use to do that.

OP posts:
HappyMummaOfOne · 29/10/2024 18:50

What is he bringing to the relationship?? If you were a single parent ….wait….you ARE a single parent but with a live in sperm donor sitting on your couch! Tell him to step up or leave.

NiftyKoala · 29/10/2024 18:45

Is this really the way you want your son to grow up? You ans your little boy deserve more. He's 5 now but soon he will notice other children with their fathers.

PortiasBiscuit · 29/10/2024 18:40

Christ girl, dump his sorry ass! What’s the point of him?

StressedQueen · 29/10/2024 18:39

Has he always been like this - it genuinely isn't normal to be so unbothered with the people close to you and in your family. If he solely finds joy in his own comfort and sitting alone, that is incredibly sad. Do you all truly get no proper family time?

PuppyMonkey · 29/10/2024 18:37

Come on OP, let’s have the explanation. Grin

StressedQueen · 29/10/2024 18:37

So what does he do 😂

You need to have a serious chat with him about this. Has he always been like this? I couldn't marry someone who was so unbothered with my children and our lives as a family. Insane

RedToothBrush · 29/10/2024 18:35

over my husband who is being a very passive parent

Hmm well it sounds like you are a good match then given how passive you are as a wife.

Errors · 29/10/2024 18:34

Are you serious? You really need to ask?

Jellyslothbridge · 29/10/2024 18:34

Pre child was he similar or is this behaviour since becoming a dad?

user1471538283 · 29/10/2024 18:32

He should want to spend time with his DC otherwise what is the point?

I think this is horrible. Imagine living with your DF and he not being interested in you?

Yourethebeerthief · 29/10/2024 18:27

🙄

Teenyweenytinytrees · 29/10/2024 18:26

Gross. How can you take this man seriously?

converseandjeans · 29/10/2024 18:17

I can't really see the point of having him in the house. That's ridiculous that he won't take him out of the house or go on holiday as a family.

Edenmum2 · 29/10/2024 18:16

So what DOES he bring to your life?

Scutterbug · 29/10/2024 18:12

Passive? More like a shit father.

Purplecatshopaholic · 29/10/2024 18:11

Why are you putting up with this waste of space..?

VivianLea · 29/10/2024 18:02

When you say he doesn't contribute financially do you mean that he doesn't contribute to the family pot at all, or specifically to extra curricula activities?

OP he is useless. You'd be better off single.

Brainstorm23 · 29/10/2024 17:50

Get this pointless lump out of your life. I say this as someone who had a similar father except that he worked 6 days a week as a farmer to support our family. What does this lump bring to the party?

AnneLovesGilbert · 29/10/2024 17:47

Do you imagine all fathers are so useless and pathetic? If not why have you put up with it for 5 years?

How you can feel anything other than contempt for him is beyond belief. Come the fuck on.

GrazingLamb · 29/10/2024 17:44

Does he have a golden penis?

User37482 · 29/10/2024 17:44

Get rid. Then he can sit in a room staring at the wall to his hearts content. This can’t be great for your sons self esteem.

Carouselfish · 29/10/2024 17:42

He is a pointless lump. Tell him he is missing out on his child's life and he will have plenty of time to sit on a screen with headphones on when he's dumped alone in an old people's home.

Jessica167353 · 29/10/2024 17:37

Do you genuinely even need to ask??

Maray1967 · 29/10/2024 17:37

So he sits at home and does nothing with his child. How on earth did you end up with such a useless bloke?
I would have booted him out long ago.

ThePoshUns · 29/10/2024 17:33

Jesus what a useless prick. Your poor son deserves better and so do you. What do your parents say?
He needs to shape up or ship out

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