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Original poster

Teaching colleague Dad will not let her take mental health sick leave?

30 replies

lokngt53 · 29/10/2024 16:14

Teaching colleague is 24 and lives with her parents, she has told me she could never go on mental health related sick leave as the idea would horrify her Dad. She says her Dad is very old fashioned and talks about when he was her age he was working down the mine 12 hours a day and her great grandfather fought in the world war. The idea of being paid while not at work would make him so angry.

My colleague is mentally fine by the way, she isn't thinking about needing to take time off work but her Dad's attitude makes me feel worried for her?

AIBU to advice her its best if she moves out?

OP posts:
ImNotThereAmI · 29/10/2024 17:57

you want to advise a colleague to move out of home because her dad doesn’t agree with sick leave? I actually think it’s one of your business really. Don’t mean to sound harsh but it isn’t and I think you’re really over reacting

SereneQuail · 29/10/2024 16:24

I’m sure if your friend was actually in need of sick leave for her mental health her dad would recognise this and change his tune. Most people do when they come face to face with the reality of mental illness.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 29/10/2024 16:22

She might feel like that but then the situation comes up and he changes his tune. Some people do when confronted with a situation with a loved one over a stranger or a hypothetical situation.

It's not your place to advice her to move out. The most is to file it away in your mind so if you do ever think she is struggling and not getting help you can then offer advice. But right now is just sticking your beak in.

I highly doubt she lives there by choice but rather because she can't afford, like many young people, to move out

toomuchfaff · 29/10/2024 16:19

YABU to advise her to move out. You have absolutely no idea the home dynamics and it's an overstep. Just because her dad's an old fashioned stuck in the mud, you've no idea the coping strategies she has developed or even her views etc.

colleague is mentally fine by the way, she isn't thinking about needing to take time off

So isn't the point you're making moot?

Cosycore · 29/10/2024 16:19

Your colleague is an adult and if she is in a position to move out, then she can do that and
take whatever leave she feels she needs.

its nice that you have concern for her, but again she is an adult. If she wants independence, then that’s her call

if not, then a lot of the viewpoints of whoever is paying for the roof over her head has a place. I don’t agree with it. But it’s not my parent and it’s not my life. Nor yours. Advise if you wish. But I’m not sure I understand the whatabouttery.