Teaching colleague Dad will not let her take mental health sick leave?

I'm 54 and my paternal GD fought WW1.

The last deep coal mine in Emgalnd closed in 2015, there were several remaining well into the 90s.

I'm 50 and both my grandfather's died in the wars (one in 1 and one in 2).

If at 24 her grandparents were in the war, she is a very late baby to old parents, who could have been born to old parents.

ww2 ended 1945, so parents could have been born 1965? then had kids at 40?

Tell her Dad to teach Y9 French P5 on a Friday for a few years. See how he feels then.

I'm on sick leave for mental health reasons and my Dad told me if I did it'd ruin my career etc. He knows I'm in therapy and he knows that I'm currently waiting for a non recent sexual abuse trial but he still thinks it's most important that I get up and go to work. He doesn't know I've been signed off for the last 8 weeks I've not told any of my family because I cba with his reaction but I live half an hour away.
So your friend probably should move out but at the end of the day it's her life and she can share or not share with him as she sees fit.

I'll put aside that it's none of your business, and anyway, it's hypothetical.

my Mum, who'd worked in factories all her life, couldn't understand why I was tired, because I worked in an office

how could I be tired, if I'd been sat down all day?

some folk (my Mum, your colleagues Dad) have limited imaginations of world's they've never experienced.

I guess most of us do.

yours is a non issue, in my opinion.

I wonder if she is ‘living at home to save for a deposit’.
Sounds like she would be better renting in a house share, with other people from her generation.

I agree he's probably a twat, but it's also none of your business.

My DH as an employer who pays himself less than his employees, was annoyed when a worker went off with stress. The job wasn't the reason for the stress, it was a family fallout and relationship breakup. DH is very much of the attitude you keep plodding and don't let others down. He felt this employee was entitled and not a team player.

It's not your place to say anything.

YABU.

The dad's views are outdated, but also pretty irrelevant if your colleague's mental health is decent. She may also find that if she was unlucky enough to become so ill she needed time off, he would change his tune when he saw his daughter suffering.

There's probably loads of reasons it suits her to live at home, not least the financials, YABU to think you get to express a view about that.

Men haven't worked 12 hours down mines since the 1970s.

The dad would have been born in the 1930s or 1940s.

People my dad's age (70s) didn't have time off sick with mental health issues; they all had 'a bad back' if they were struggling. My dad's bouts tended to correspond to heavy weekends. He has no truck with the idea of mental health, but that's because they were brought up differently.

I'm in my 40s and I'd be wary of taking sick leave for mental health, because it was ingrained if me that it would ruin your career. Even though it's more accepted than it was.

I’d also doubt that her grandfather was in WW2, I’m 40 and my grandparents were too young to fight in WW2 and they’re all dead now.

OP said great-grandfather, which is very possible. I’m 46 - so feasibly could have a 24 year old - and both my grandfathers were old enough to fight in WW2

Might just be one of those things you say, "oh, Dad is so old fashioned yada yada". If confronted with a real life scenario, he might react totally differently and not as she expects/paints him.

Or he might not.
Either way, it's currently all hypothetical and none of your business anyway.

Reminds me of my Dad, not amused at all with genuine sick leave. Obviously happy for me to go in and infect everyone

Just had a Google and apparently last coal mine in the uk closed 2 years ago

Not 100% on dates but my brother is 62 and was a miner for at least 10 years,
I'm 50 and both grandads were involved in WW2

@MattSmithsBowTie agree

in fact, him being down the mine, unless he's about 70, makes me doubt her words full stop.

she's an adult OP. Just leave it.

I think it’s indicative of a controlling atmosphere, however if she’s 24 I doubt he spent much of his working life down a mine, someone with better knowledge can correct me but didn’t the majority of the pits close in the 1980s? I’d also doubt that her grandfather was in WW2, I’m 40 and my grandparents were too young to fight in WW2 and they’re all dead now.

It's absolutely none of your business.

My dads like that. I couldn't live with him, but its not your place to tell her to move out.

Just perhaps be there for her if it ever becomes an issue?

Her dad wouldn't approve of sick leave she doesn't need?

My dad can come across like that, but couldn't have been more supportive when DS1 had a breakdown (yes I know that's not the correct medical term). He did all the research to find suitable treatment , and paid for it.

My parents didn’t agree with sick leave. They didn’t really agree with annual leave. They’d get very fretful if I was taking “too much” and genuinely didn’t understand that I needed to use it or I lose it! Very frustrating.

Advice to your colleague is completely ignore. She’s an adult.

Dramatic much?

The dad might feel differently if he was faced with her having an actual mental illness. It can be very different to what people say hypothetically.

So you’re upset at a hypothetical situation that doesn’t affect you. You think the best course of action is tell this adult she should move out.

Honestly OP you’re worse than her dad could ever be.