To think the term 'childfree' is as bad as 'childless'

child-infested

We called out pest control, but they said they wouldn't get involved due to "human rights" - it's political correctness gone mad.

This is a real problem.

You need to stop confusing people caring whether you want children or not (we don't) with using terminology that is clearly offensive to many people.

I and everyone else don't care if you have zero kids, or thirty. Whatever makes you happy.

It’s odd that child free people are being accused of implying kids are a burden. ALL of the people I know with kids have said many times to me (not implied, explicitly said) that children make life more difficult. They have less money, are more tired, stressed, don’t have as much free time, etc. I don’t have kids so I don’t know firsthand.

I’m going by what actual parents have literally told me.

Are people actually suggesting that if you choose not to have children, you should describe that choice in a way that makes it clear you are selfish and not pulling your weight and are flawed in some way?

You can choose not to have kids, but you have to be a bit apologetic and ashamed of it and acknowledge that people who do have children, even if they treat those children like shit or are resentful, abusive or just plain useless parents raising problem children because they lack the skills or resources to do a good job, are better than you because they are adding to an overpopulated planet while you are just living your life without replacing yourself, you selfish bastard, and you need to describe yourself in terms that show you know you are less than parents?

Seriously?

I'm going to start describing my life as child-infested from now on because fuck that attitude.

You're welcome. It's not difficult to see what you meant. It's annoying when things are deliberately "misunderstood" to pretend you were making a statement you weren't.

It was really clear what you meant.

It's like when someone says "it was irritating last night in a restaurant, these two kids were running around shouting at 10pm"

And someone has to say "oh, so let's be clear, you're saying all kids should be banned from social areas then".

Ahhh, ok. We can't just be sensible adults, who in real life would simply acknowledge how obviously annoying it would be to have someone shouting whilst you're trying to eat a meal you've paid a lot of money for. I see the level of discussion this is heading too...

Being a parent is pretty much the default in most species otherwise they’d die out.

I am focusing entirely on the expression “child free” to describe someone other than a parent who is temporarily free of needing to parent.

*Not sure what the alternative would be, but how about 'nonparent'? It needs to be a word that's totally neutral about whether having kids is a good or bad thing.

That isn’t neutral though because it implies that parent is the default.

Dear god this thread is quite bonkers!
Why, oh why, do people on here want to label everything and everyone? if it's not ADHD it's SEN or ND, or anxiety, or 'let's make up a descriptor because we don't have one for those without children as yet'
I have never used either of the terms you suggest, simply because it is nobody's business. I don't announce I am childless or childfree in conversation. If I am asked in social situations, if I have children, I just say No and change the subject. My reasons are my own, not any other persons business

Yes, I think that’s what @CherryBlossomArt is claiming. You are excluding a vulnerable imaginary group of the children who don’t exist because you chose not to have them. And this somehow makes them equivalent to someone of colour or Irish looking at a NO BLACKS, NO DOGS, NO IRISH sign in a window. Even though they don’t exist to be excluded. Or something.

I wouldn’t waste a lot of intellectual energy trying to follow those mental gymnastics.

To you. Not to everyone.

Perhaps you need to look at why hearing there are men and women who don't want children is such an issue for you. Seriously.

You don’t want to see it, because it suits you not to see it. Yet whenever a person without children refers to themselves as “child free”, that’s how it comes across.

You crack on and be the self appointed "custodian" for the rest of us eh, love?

Honestly the patronising attitude of some people because they seem to think kids are the only positive outcome in life is exactly why childfree is an excellent term for those who DON'T WANT WHAT YOU HAVE.

It also suggests you are the type to ask people like me (DH is infertile) whether we've considered adoption - like we can pop to Tesco and select a child off a shelf. Go away.

Sorry, so my own potential children are being excluded from my own life and that upsets you?

You seem very confused. Childfree people often have children in their lives — nephews, nieces, friends’ children, neighbours, children they teach or treat or work with. They just didn’t give birth to any of them, by choice.

Unless you e given birth to the immigrants or disabled people you’re making a confused and specious comparison with, there’s absolutely no comparison.

What is then?

Who is excluding the children? And from where? Or what? Other than the homes of people that choose not to have them. I don't get it.

Your willingness to pitch in and raise the next generation of human beings.

That's not quite the way to phrase it, is it.

But there’s no expectations for me to have at least one disabled person in my life who I care for so it wouldn’t make sense to say that.

Thank you.

What are they being excluded from?

Referring to being “child-free” comes across in the same way it would come across if you said you are “disabled-people-free” if you consciously chose a life without disabled people in it, or “immigrant-free” if you consciously chose a life without immigrants in it, because it’s just ‘too burdensome for you’.

No, she's saying by saying you are "free", it sounds like crowing about the exclusion of a vulnerable group.

Think about this for a minute.

Custodian to the next generation of people.

What could be less fucking burdensome, if one was to actually stop and think about the weight that carries, and how you could possibly do it without fucking it up?!