I have really tried to be a part of my husbands family over the years, but unfortunately I don't think I'm thought of as part of the 'family'. They are nice to me generally, but I'm not an important person to them. And that's ok, life goes on - however...
It's my DD birthday next week and we're going on holiday. I have just heard from my DH that my MIL has got DS a cake and is planning on doing a little birthday celebration with her tomorrow (she spends one day a week with them and her cousin). It seems as if maybe the rest of the family (aunties and uncles) are going to be there, yet no one has asked me if I would like to be there too (DH is at work). It's her first birthday where she will really understand it's her birthday.
AIBU to want to be with DD when she has a cake and is sung happy birthday the first time she really understands it all?
Am I silly to worry that she will wonder where I am and think I don't love her? And if so, should I speak up before it happens so that this can be avoided (or do you think it will cause conflict - something I'd like to avoid!). Do I have the right to ask them to wait until after her birthday?
Is it ok for them not to ask me or shall I just let it go ahead, don't overthink it and let DD have a nice time blowing out the candles?
Ultimately DD's happiness is the most important element. I just keep thinking about when I was little - my mum was there making the cakes and lighting the candles - I want DD to feel that stability in these memorable moments too, so aside from my own feelings, that's another worry.
Thank you.