Friend's daughters are so rude

I'm a bit cynical about thank you letters. I was made to write them for my DMs relatives who'd send gifts in the post and had to be forced to do it. These were people I'd never met and wouldn't have recognised in a police line up and I found it really awkward writing letters to strangers that I knew nothing about.

As an adult I prefer to say thank you by the usual communication method, in person, text, email etc.

It's very old fashioned to write thank you notes, you aren't a character in a Jane Austin novel!

My nephew is like this - it's his 30th this year and my DM has basically said she's not bothering to get him anything as you never get so much as a text message of thanks. I was always brought up to send thank you letters, and still do, as was his mother, but it doesn't seem to even register with him that a quick "thank you" might be a good thing to send. I think it's so rude to not even acknowledge a gift, especially if it wasn't given in person.

Just stop the gifts now. They are rude so stop sending them. My 8yo got a gift yesterday from a relative this weekend from someone else who brought it over. The first thing he did was ask if we could make a video of him holding it and saying thank you to send it to the relative. Clearly your friend hasn't taught her kids basic manners so they don't deserve anything.

Yes I think it is the height of bad manners not to say thank you for a gift- even a quick text or phone call would be acceptable.

Never mind chocolates and bath bombs- I wouldn't bother sending them anything, and if your friend asks why- tell her.

I give the younger people in my family one opportunity to say thank you. If none is forthcoming then that's it- I no longer send them cards. One of my nephews is now on this no present list. This year My BiL even sent him a message to check he had received his birthday money as wondered if something was wrong with his bank details and even this didn't seem to warrant a reply. You would have though that at the age of 29 he might have developed a few manners by now...

It's rude but I think it's on the parents to teach them to say thank you for gifts. Teens can be pretty self absorbed left to their own devices.

Say to your friend that you think you should stop gifts for the kids this year - use cost of living etc as an excuse if you need to.

Yes, they should say thank you (presuming you give the gifts in person, if not it's murkier as they might assume their mum said thanks on their behalf). Also assuming they didn't say thank you in receipt of them and you're not expecting a second thank you after opening. But for me gift giving is about seeing the person get something they will love and the happiness on their face. If for you, you get your pleasure from the acknowledgment, just stop doing it.

Really really rude. I was caught on the hop and asked to be godparent to my cousin's daughter. Wish I'd declined.
Year in, year out, I posted birthday presents.... I think out of all those years, I got one thank you letter once.
When she reached 18, I spent more and sent a silver necklace to her. I said in the card, I wouldn't be sending any more presents as she was 18 now but wished her luck for the future.
Did I get a thank you for that? Nah

@gabbimg Do you have DCs and does she buy for them? If not, I'd knock it on the head totally.

It's extremely rude. I had the same in my family, cousin's daughter didn't thank me or even mention the voucher I gave her for her 18th. I didn't bother buying her anything else after that. I'd just stop now.

Yes it is rude imo and I would always remind DD about writing her thank you cards when she was younger. Nowadays she'll usually drop an email or text message and send a card to the older relatives who still appreciate a written thank you.

Just don’t send them anything if it upsets you 🤦🏻‍♀️