Friend's daughters are so rude

Are you sure her kids aren't just saying thank you to your kids for the gift and they haven't passed that on?

I guess depends whether their parents have instilled in them the need the write a thank you letter (or text/ call / in person version of thank you).

My sister is the same, never acknowledges presents, doesn't get her kid to. Didn't even thank us for the wedding present we gave her (whether by letter / text / verbally) which I find so rude especially as it was expensive, something they asked for, and we spent probably £500+ on attending their wedding. I always get my son to send thank yous, in fact we do from the whole family, but nothing in return despite sending presents we put a LOT of thought into. It's so rude!

What does she give you?

Totally agree with you OP. We have 8 Nieces/Nephews and a Great Niece (all from the same side of the family) who we always bought for at Christmas and Birthdays. Despite them spending half their lives on their phones to their mates, they are incapable of even sending a WhatsApp to say thank you so we've stopped buying. Saves us a few £££ each year. We have one Nephew on the other side who always picked the phone up (obviously prompted by parents when he was younger) to say thank you and tell us what he'd got/done for his birthday. We continued buying for him until he was 18 and will do 21st etc.

Well. That’s certainly clear. No dubiety there

But presumably you haven't opened it?

😂

Same here (as my comment above) they had a box so all cards went in that therefore no thanks on receiving it, though they wouldn't know you had put money in the card anyways ...

This. The last wedding I went to, everyone got a nice WhatsApp thank you with a photo of the day. It doesn't take much.

If someone gives me a gift I’ll send an email,text ot I’ll call. No handwritten notes
As a child was compelled to write thank you notes and I hated it,swore I’d not do it as an adult (I don’t)

OP isn’t asking for a thank you written on parchment with a quill pen.
Just a quick text or voice note acknowledgment would be good mannered and thoughtful when someone has taken the trouble and expense to send a gift.

What a depressing attitude. It's basic manners, especially if someone has spent time and effort as well as money on picking out something they know you will like. Haven't RTFT but if you've got kids and you're bringing them up with this attitude, don't be surprised if people stop giving them anything. Most people say thank you in some form or another for gifts.

@Peppermintpattern same ! My Mum would rescue the To:/From: labels off the paper and write on each one what the gift was.

Again - who on here has the expectation of a handwritten note?! No-one.

Just Give a gift without expectation of a handwritten note to say thank you then you’ll not be disappointed
But it’s mumsnet I await a flurry of posters extolling the manners of their own children who send handwritten thoughtful notes
As an adult I don’t send handwritten note for gifts so I’d not expect it of children or adolescents .Seems like a moribund affectation,frankly

My niece and nephew have never, not once in the 30 and 26 years respectively they have been alive said Thankyou for a Christmas or birthday present, usually at about £50 a pops and things from their lists suggested by their Mother, my sister. They have certainly never bought a reciprocal gift or anything for my children even. I never expected a note, but a quick text when they were older, or a message on the family wattsapp- takes three seconds.
I'm not buying for them at all this year. They are well in to adulthood. And they should know better and get some manners IMO.

I dont get that at all, I was taught, not forced.
In what way forced?

Dd and I have had the conversation about thank you notes for her wedding, she ordered them along with the save the dates and invites, its not hard like. How do people not factor this in to weddings?

Kids today are just so fucking spoilt they simply don't appreciate gifts in the way I did (child of the 70s and no money). And the parents who don't force them to write a text that will take 2 seconds are lazy feckers. Manners are important.

That's fine, it's still a thank you.

Some people have asked why saying ‘thank you ‘ matters. My view is that kids need to be taught to think of others and saying ‘thank you’ is just part of that. I don’t care what form it takes but I expect a brief text if present not given in person.

With teens I'd just stop at 16 or 18. Let your friend know you're stopping because of their age. She might stop buying for your daughter but it seems as good a time as any.

Yes of course they should say thank you, but none of us are perfect.

So how would you show you are grateful for the gift? I don't even get a text!

It is rude but one of my most hated childhood memories is being forced to write thank you letters so I could never make mine do it. Now they're grown, I generally encourage a text.