Friend's daughters are so rude

Gosh, no one taught you manners, that's for sure.

You sound very scathing about basic good manners. Were you not taught to be polite and say thank you yourself?

😂 No staring and clasping required - just if you can’t be arsed to even teach your kids to text “thanks for the gift” then they should be able to at least say it in person next time you’re around the giver? If you think it’s fine to teach your kids to accept a gift, not acknowledge it or thank anyone and mumble something incomprehensible to the floor then that’s up to you, but to me that comes across pretty rude - even more so for older children/teens. Isn’t it common decency to look at the person you’re speaking to? Not old fashioned, just…. human.

You're a bit intense if you like to see the white of your gift receiver's eyes when you thank them. I can imagine you gripping and shaking their hands in a old style clasp off also. V old hat.

Basic manners are not old fashioned! I didn’t think the OP had an issue with the written part specifically - just the complete lack of acknowledgement in any form. If you really have an issue with writing (and are your kids really are too “cool” and modern to simply write “thank you” on a piece of paper?), then teach them to text a little thank you or even better, look people in the eye in person to say it next time you see them.
So rude to assume you “just don’t do it” because it’s old fashioned.

I think it is different.

I'm not British by culture, though I was born here. I didn't know about thank you cards etc until I was an adult. I would just say thanks when someone gave me a gift, or my parents would if given to them to pass to me. We're not really a gift sending kind of culture though, so don't remember getting gifts in the post, more likely to get given cash the next time I saw someone who had missed a birthday or something. My children do the same as I did.

The majority of people on this thread sound bonkers imo, but that's because we're all different. The concept of 'manners' is so culturally specific, the idea that we all conform to the same set is crazy.

I agree with the person who likened it to something from an Austin novel!

One of my friends has very rude DCs too. They can't seem to bring themselves to say please or thank you and my friend puts it down to them being shy. 🙄 I so want to tell her that it's because they're spoilt brats. My friend is like a slave to those kids.

It's the height of bad manners not to thank the sender for a gift you receive. My ex-husband's nieces & nephew never, in all the years we were married and sent them presents for their birthdays and at Christmas, never ever bothered to thank us for what we sent, so in the end I refused point-blank to bother buying gifts for them. A written thankyou letter would have been ideal, but a phone call would have ben acceptable, but we never even got that.

We bought presents up to the time they started secondary school, then something for their 18th and 21st birthdays, but nothing else. I told my ex that I refuse to waste my time and effort on his uigrateful relatives who haven't the basic manners to contaxt us to say thank you, and he agreed.

Hear, hear! It's a parent's job to teach their child manners.

The point is that you make them say thank you until it's ingrained in them. Kids don't spend their own money or go shopping for gifts so they don't appreciate the effort. When they are older it's second nature.

I can't imagine any of the parents on here not thanking their child for the lovely gift they made at school or whatever. I'm intrigued now what the " you only want thanks for your ego" parents say to theirs.

Unless they live miles away, I think its actually rude to send a present rather than making the effort to give it in person, that way you surely get a thanks??

Saying that I have had always made my children say thanks to people for presents, does their mum thank you? Do they have your number? Maybe they think she has said thanks on their behalf

Really rude.
I don't expect a letter to be written, a text message is sufficient.
Really rude not to acknowledge it.
I would completely dial it back to a generic cheap gift.

We had this with relatives. No thanks at any point from the children or their parents when they were very small. Phased it out but I doubt it's even been noticed.

Does the mum say thanks on their behalf? Are you close with them? They might not feel they know you well enough. Maybe the mum Doesn't tell them it's from you. And they open presents all at once. Teenagers are a little selfish

The fact that you "make" your DD write thank yous answers your question!

I think the point is they don't thank OP in any shape or form. Pretty sure OP isnt expecting a handwritten letter on scented paper with a wax seal on the envelope!

In some cultures saying thank you isn't as common as it is in UK.
I learnt the hard way as having a foreign Mum and not being taught to do this does on British culture appear rude and I accept this.
If you are that upset by the lack of thank yous than don't give.If you enjoy giving presents( wish I do) don't worry about it.

What does amuse me is that I'd be willing to bet a lot of these 'a gift should be freely given with no expectation of thanks, otherwise it's all about YOU!' types are also the first to get up in arms if people don't get their kids anything at all.

Very bad form not thanking you for gifts. I had the same problem with gifts to a great niece and nephew. I started spending the money on charity payments Oxfam at Xmas (buy a bunch of chickens or pay for a goat sort of thing). I would send them the cards purchased to show the gift and explain that as children here received what they wanted from their parents, I had sent the charity contributions on their behalf instead of a present me. It was surprisingly well received and they both proudly showed off their gift cards at school.

I would ask the friend if the girls liked their gifts. Say, ‘I didn’t hear anything, so I wondered if they were pleased with their gifts’. Then stop, because it’s clear that giving them gifts is not giving you any joy.

Yes bad manners. My sil was very casual. We were always reared to say thank you. Even a quick text

Rude not to thank - a quick call or even a text takes no time at all. I wouldn't bother with gifts in the future, just send a card.

My godchildren took years to thank me. The girls now do (they are older teens and we have independent relationships), godson really can't be arsed. It annoys me.

Love it 😂

Gratitude never goes out of style imho!