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Original poster

Friend excluding my child

34 replies

LilacAnt · 29/10/2024 12:37

Im in a group of friends from university, all of us have children within a few years of each other.

we usually all contribute an amount for children’s birthdays and buy a couple of bigger presents.

one friend has done this for every other child than mine and clearly regifted something when it’s come to my child. I’ve no issues with the friend, so I can’t understand why.

how would you feel about this? What would you do?

OP posts:
Original poster
LilacAnt · 29/10/2024 12:51

TinyGingerCat · 29/10/2024 12:49

So did your child get something from the rest of the group and an individual present from this friend? Or did nobody else contribute and your child only get a present from the friend?

Sorry I’ve not made it clear when I’ve read it back.

the group got something for my child and the one friend didn’t contribute, then clearly regifted something quite random. This is despite that friend contributing for other children’s birthdays either side of my child’s birthday.

OP posts:
TinyGingerCat · 29/10/2024 12:49

So did your child get something from the rest of the group and an individual present from this friend? Or did nobody else contribute and your child only get a present from the friend?

SouthLondonMum22 · 29/10/2024 12:44

Did your child like the gift? Surely that’s all that matters.

Anywherebuthere · 29/10/2024 12:44

Sometimes finances change or maybe the friend thought the gift would be suitable . I also regift. Not because I think less of the gift or the giver/receiver of the gift.

But just because that's what's more suitable at the time.

It doesnt sound like your child has been excluded.

Original poster
LilacAnt · 29/10/2024 12:44

To add some context it’s not just once.

also I don’t think it’s financial issues as there was a birthday either side and she contributed for both

OP posts:
TizerorFizz · 29/10/2024 12:43

So everyone else has put money in? Just not this one? If I’m honest, how long are you going to keep this up? Some people like being frugal and passing unwanted things on. Some actually need to. Maybe she’s gone green? Just do the same when it’s her DCs birthday. Personally I’d just reduce to a small present for Christmas. Birthdays is over the top. So overall I’d ignore it and maybe she’s not got the money. Sounds an expensive habit.

HappyToSmile · 29/10/2024 12:41

I would probably be petty and next time there was a birthday and you were asked to contribute, I'd ask why your child was treated differently.

I presume when it's her kids birthdays, someone else steps in?

Amyknows · 29/10/2024 12:40

Is this a once off and she is maybe having financial issues?
If it's more than once then you have to speak to her about it, because if it's intentional then she isn't a friend and you have nothing to lose by asking her about it

Spendingtoomuchonfood · 29/10/2024 12:39

Just once? Maybe she didn’t have much money that month. Perhaps her child recieved a duplicate which she thought your child would really enjoy.

It sounds like she hasn’t excluded them. She has just done some thing different than usual.

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