Just the 4 of us for Xmas Day and I'm thrilled

I hear you OP. In the last 6 years we've had one Christmas at home (2020). Have had another child since then and I am SO excited to have a December with no travelling, no managing grandparent/aunt/uncles expectations, no dealing with time changes, no trying to keep children behaving/entertained in someone else's home, no family dramas, no 'oh you have to have at least one sprout, it's Christmas law!'.

Don't get me wrong, there's lots to like about Christmas spent with family, and we are privileged to have family who we love and love us. Next year we'll most likely be back on the rotation, but this year it's just us. I can put up my own decorations (we don't usually have a tree when we're away for the main two weeks it would be up), we can make our own traditions, I get to experience the magic of tiny children enjoying Christmas in their own home, we can head out for walks when we want, stick on a movie if we want, eat what we want, give gifts whenever the kids fancy rather than having to save some for after dinner or whatever the rules of that house are. This year we don't need to conform to anything or anyone else. I'm going to soak it up!

There’s been a lot of threads lately about how to avoid extended family members over Xmas. It’s sad because there’s a bunch of uncharismatic possibly neurodivergent older people who might only get to feel part of a family over Xmas. I had a great uncle once who was a sole caregiver of an adult son with learning difficulties. I didn’t live in the country at the time but was on holiday there and naively suggested they came to my aunts house for Xmas dinner because I assumed families all got together at Xmas.
They both turned up eager and smiling and sat at the table and devoured every dish and after a while went home. They weren’t sparkling entertaining guests who everyone was looking forward to spending time with, they were just ordinary, forgettable family members with no one to spend Xmas with.

I can see how a Xmas with just your own nuclear family is a better option for many, but I also hope that people keep opening their homes and showing love to all the unconnected, lonely, socially awkward members of their family

Enjoy it, we are 3 and we enjoy Christmas dinner together. Way back it was my parents that hosted and DB, SIL and us - 7. Nephews had kids, so SIL sees them now on Christmas. Parents have passed away.

We miss them, but we find the whole Christmas dinner process less stressful

The worst bit of Christmas is the expectation. Just going with the flow sounds brilliant.

You are NOT being unreasonable op.

We had this as a one off a couple of years ago. We always host everyone every year - 14 people come to us, in addition to the 5 of us. We can't really get out of it now, we're the only ones with enough space to host.

Then 2021...dh had covid. Positive test 3 days before Xmas, thankfully he wasn't unwell at all but still positive (had to test for work). Lots of family members have health issues, no way anyone could risk it by coming.

So it was just the 5 of us. And it was really difficult sounding sad and disappointed when talking to the family when dh and I were doing an internal happy dance. It was a great day!

Growing up there was always only my parents, my sister and myself. My parents weren't sociable and never had people round.
My friend has 12/16 people for Christmas and I just don't know how she does it.
This year there are only the 2 of us - bliss!