AIBU to keep my baby with me when she’s unwell?

I presume when she married her husband she chose to embrace the culture. If it has all come as a surprise then pre-wedding communication is at fault.

Your husbands culture can remain just that, for anyone who wants to embrace it.

It's not your culture. You're not obliged to follows its customs.

Stop her taking the baby. Completely. Take the baby out for a long walk?

Where’s your husband in all of this? Is he undermining you as well? Did he invite her to stay and for so long?

Your baby needs you. Not just when she’s ill. You know her best. Please start trusting yourself. You have all of us here standing with you. Say no. The more you do it the easier it gets.

Are you safe in your marriage and in your home? Where’s your family? Do you have any friends to support you?

And obviously your baby needs YOU especially when they're poorly!

10 weeks is a long time to disrupt you and your baby's routines.

Do you go out and meet friends, baby groups, walks in the park, health visitor appointments etc?

I appreciate if you've struggled with postpartum depression you might not have theeae activities in place so now's the time to start!

Your mil is welcome to come with you and baby but it's your house, your schedule.

10 weeks is insane!
Absolutely don't let her essentially be the baby's mother whilst she's here, how confusing for the child, tell her the baby will be confused and it's fine to spend time but not alone in her room with your baby
There's job risk of other cultural overstepping is there? FGM, ear piercing, cutting hair etc is there?

OP I would be putting my foot down and not letting MIL take her like that. And if your husband won’t back you up, if you can afford to, I would be taking baby to a hotel till your MIL leaves

Ffs put your baby's needs above mil's wants. Your dc needs you. Poorly or not it isn't to be locked on a room with a dgm it must barely know... You are a dm now op. Time to woman the fuck up.

You have spectacularly missed the point. There are cultures (like it or not) where this is accepted. Mabel was pointing OP to where she may get more appropriate support than "just put your foot down" or "why are you accepting that?".

MabelMaybe

“…. from other women living in marriages where the DH's parents are the head of a household, and respect of them is expected as standard“

No one should be taking advice from anyone who accepts that someone is “head of the household” in their home!

10 weeks at 6 months old, that’s over 1/3 of your baby’s life that your mil plans to take baby off you, there is NO WAY.

If she's taking a poorly 6 month old away from its mum she obviously has no real concern for the baby does she?

And also no clue!

Don't try and keep the peace.

Honestly her behaviour is wild. If she has some proper child welfare concern she could take it to the authorities.

Put your foot down right now. Your baby is sick and needs a parent. Her behavior is completely nuts.

Sounds like something crazy has been going on for you to feel that you need to allow this. Glad you're feeling empowered now. Your baby needs YOU, they need time to bond with you.

10 weeks?! Whyyyy so long?
Especially if she's not being kind to you.
No way in the world would anyone be taking my baby away from me for most of the day.
You can definitely say no.

Jesus Christ I wouldn't allow this even with a perfectly healthy baby!

What does her son think about this situation?

I hope he's going to back you up when you put your foot down and stop your own baby being taken away every day.

Sorry but I think YABU for allowing it in the first place, I never understand these posts.

Of course you’re not being unreasonable.

This is nonsense from your MiL and your husband if he expects you to hand over your baby like this. Absolutely bonkers.

You should feel able to say no to your MIL when she wants to take your baby to her own room for hours whether your child is ill or not. It's your house and your baby. You are a saint having her to stay for 10 weeks. Do not let her bully you.

Sorry @MojitoNoIce69 just read your later messages. Might be her culture but it’s YOUR baby - stand your ground and out a stop to that asap. Xx

@MojitoNoIce69 , there is a South Asian mumsnetters group on here, and a Muslim mumsnetters group too, listed at https://www.mumsnet.com/talk.

It's fine for people to be stunned by this women but it would be helpful for you to get support from other women living in marriages where the DH's parents are the head of a household, and respect of them is expected as standard. You shouldn't be being separated from your baby, or being belittled, but "tell your MIL to leave" type messages aren't recognising the dynamic your little 3-person family is part of. Some of the women on these groups may be better placed to advise.

Unless you are a danger to your baby I don't understand why someone is keeping your baby from you. I also don't understand why you are allowing this unless you feel threatened unsafe around these people. If either is the case their are people who can help you with these things.

Erm taking your baby to her room every day for 10 weeks is just plain weird, why did you ever let her do that??

No, you're not being unreasonable, although it's a bit dramatic to say "my only baby" as if this wouldn't be a problem if you had twins.

Very odd that your MIL has to take her to her room rather than sitting in the living room or kitchen like a normal person.

It is surprising that you feel comfortable letting your MIL take your child every day and not seeing them when they’re in the same house. Do you feel ok with this? Have you struggled to bond with baby due to your PPD? Please speak to your health visitor or GP if so.
It goes without saying that as baby’s mother, when they are ill it is you that provides the love and comfort that baby needs and helps to build a bond between you both. Giving them comfort at these times is so important for baby to understand that you are the source of care and love. If you are breastfeeding at all, it’s really important to continue to do so when baby is poorly as their backwash spittle feeds information back to your body and in response, your body will create antibodies in your milk to help them get better.

I don’t think you need to over complicate things with your MIL. “He’s not well, he’s only 6 months old, he needs his mum.”

All poorly babies need their mums.

Buy a sling, put baby in it as soon as you/her get up and dressed. You can keep the baby in it all day apart from nappy changes. Do it now and don’t stop until MIL backs off.

MIL will have to physically assault you and the baby to remove her from it.