AIBU to keep my baby with me when she’s unwell?

Are you ok OP? I hope you managed to stand up for yourself.

Very weird. If you’re a guest in someone’s house, it normal to socialise with them. If they have a baby, you help if required , you don’t disappear with the baby.

It's weird to take the baby into a bedroom for the whole day, especially when you are at home.

I hope OP is OK.

My biggest worry here is that as a mother you aren’t sticking up for your own child and your bond and letting someone else gatekeep her. Your DD has no voice, you are meant to be it and advocate for her. Most mums would be outraged at this but yet you seem to be allowing it and that bothers me as another parent.

You need to tell MIL to leave and you need to start sticking up for yourself and looking after your baby.

I wasn't discussing whose culture should take precedence. We don't know how OP has found herself in this situation.

I'm saying it isn't as easy as everyone leaping in to say it's wrong and telling OP what she needs to do. I think there is significant information we don't know about the relationship that led to this situation.

I don't think OP is able to act upon the "take your baby back" or "why are you allowing this" comments. We have no idea what her DH's part in this set up is.

Even if she isn't in a forced or arrange marriage, why should her DH's culture take precedence in relation to the role of his mother in the raising of their baby?

Why can't OP's culture take precedence?

She's YOUR baby..tell mil to sod off

Why are you allowing her to take your baby to sit in her room all day? That's really not normal and it's not good for your baby to be separated From you all day because her grandma wants to play mummy. You need to learn to stand up to her for the sake of your baby.

For the love of god just give the baby the antibiotics

Are you ok OP?
I think the everyone's responses show the strength of feeling about this.
It would be my worst nightmare to be honest.

Start making changes right now. Can we help? Let us know.

Bur what is she doing with your baby? She sounds completely overbearing. It’s YOUR baby. Only if it’s helpful let her take the baby.

I agree! Its upsetting tbh.

Why is she taking your baby away from you? wtf?

Downright odd that she takes the baby away to her room, my MIL was over bearing but didn’t do that! She should be playing with her and cuddling her in the living room and maybe taking her out for a walk by herself

Regardless of whether your baby is unwell. WHY ON EARTH are you allowing her to be kept in a room all day, every day and you arent able to see her?

What is she eating? What are you doing? Is she going outside - too many questions to even begin to ask.

'Mum Up' - take your baby and not allow this to happen. You are her voice.

That should say 6 months old baby, for several hours per day over 10 weeks.

You are being very unreasonable to allow your MiL to deprive your 10 week old baby of its mother for several hours at a time.

OP of course YANBU. I get if your MIL has come a long way, that her visit may be longer than ideal and a chance to bond with her DGD. But there’s a difference between spending time and bonding with her, and completely taking over all your DDs care all day. Unless you wanted that or were so unwell it was necessary, it’s not ok, especially now your DD is poorly.

Is your DH on his DMs side here or is he able to see that though respecting your elders is a given in his culture, that you are a mixed family, so more than one culture in the mix. This isn’t normal in your culture. Have you told him /can you tell him how upset and uncomfortable you are with this, esp right now? If not, how would he react do you think.

Does MIL speak much English? Are you able to tell her you respect her very much and it’s lovely she is taking the time to get to know her DGD, but when you want or need to be with your baby, you aren’t being unreasonable and want there to be a compromise so both of your cultures are considered?

10 weeks - you are far braver than me!!

That's not what I'm saying at all.

It seems that this is what is expected of her right now. Either it's come as a big shock to her (worrying) or it hasn't (she made an informed decision to marry into it).

I have not said it is right - we don't know how she finds herself in this position.

Since when does getting, married oblige you to adopt your husbands traditions over your own?

Because with the information given I assume OP made an informed decision to get married. As I say above, if she's in a forced arranged marriage then it changes everything and (as I also say) people saying "oh I wouldn't put up with that" likely isn't appropriate advice.

If she has been tricked then she has far, far bigger problems than her baby being in a different room to her.

Why do you presume that?

Op can say in her culture dm's raise their own dc... Who's culture 'wins'? Surely the one which takes the baby into consideration?? Not the one that panders to grown ups!!