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Original poster

To not do 'Elf on the shelf'

231 replies

Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 09:58

I understand it as a magical annoying elf turning up 1st December, to watch your children, and report their behaviour back to the North Pole. However, it back fires when it is the "naughty" elf who infact is the one who needs watching. This is demonstrated by his antics each night (set up by the lucky parent who has to think of various mischievous predicaments for 24 days)! Please correct me if I am wrong on this.

I promise I am not a grinch! We do crafts, baking, advent calendars, small Christmas box with night before Christmas book, Santa key, leaving mince pie, carrot on Christmas eve etc in the lead up. I just find the elf idea creepy, especially the whole watching/monitoring idea. Surely it could lead to a "mummy is this you doing this?" and create further risk of them questioning Santa as well. I don't know if this has happened to anybody!

Dc1 has asked about his elf, and I don't want to do it, and feel mean, because the other kids get it visiting them. I don't want a festive squatter in my home!

OP posts:
WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 29/10/2024 11:51

@Alottodoaboutssomething sounds like you struck a good balance there, and I’m SO with you on Halloween!

Original poster
Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 11:48

WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 29/10/2024 11:41

So glad we swerved this, my kids just old enough that this didn’t hit when they were at that age. It’s a bloody awful bind by the sounds of it.

I also can’t stand the whole Christmas Eve “box” with yet more tat to be purchased. And don’t get me started on the matching pyjamas.

Carrots for Rudolph, mince pie and a much needed drink for Santa, that’s yer lot 😜, there’s plenty to be consumed the following day!

Edited

Haha! I thought the exact same thing of Christmas boxes. I thought what a waste giving it on Christmas eve as well.

Then acouple of years ago I started it, I give them it on the 1st Dec with their advent calendar. I reuse the same boxes, the night before Christmas book and santa key goes away and comes out every year as part of the box. I only add in a small packet of sweets or chocolate santa, a hot chocolate bomb, and a Christmas jumper (donate these to school when they outgrow them). They also get just as much wear out of them, as they do their other winter jumpers. Sometimes a pair of Christmas pjs which again they get wear out of just as much, and wear them until outgrown like they do their others. They get really excited by it, and it has become a nice tradition.

But that halloween thing, definately not!! I have never heard of that, what will there be next?!

OP posts:
QueenMummyTheFirst · 29/10/2024 11:47

We're exactly the same OP. It's too much work, and I find the idea of being constantly watched creepy too.
We actually don't really do Santa, as I find the idea that children's "goodness" is measured by the number of presents they get/ amount of money spent on them very problematic, for lots of reasons! We sort of joke about Santa, but haven't ever done Santa gifts, and the kids have both known he isn't real since they were little. I never thought it spoiled the Christmas magic in any way.

ThreePointOneFourOneFiveNine · 29/10/2024 11:45

I've never done it. I just said that I’ve got enough to deal with without a naughty elf showing up and causing trouble. The kids did mention a couple of times about what other peoples kids elves had been up to. But they never seemed hugely bothered. I do put a lot of effort into Christmas and make sure they have a wonderful time. I just really haven’t got the energy for an elf on top of everything else.

SpecduckularlyQuackers · 29/10/2024 11:44

Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 11:41

Well I will hold my hands up, not religious in the slightest. We just love the spending time with family doing nice things, kindness and good food aspects. I love all of the lights too!

Show quote history

Oh gosh, no judgment intended! I'm the agnostic in our 'sort of Christian' family so that would be extra hypocritical in any case 😂 just that another poster mentioned that Advent celebrations might be more meaningful for Christians and I thought it might be an interesting point that actually it's supposed to be a fairly simple, reflective time of year in the Christian calendar.

JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit · 29/10/2024 11:44

Harrriet · 29/10/2024 10:17

No Elf
No Boo boxes
No Christmas eve boxes.
No Christmas bedding.
No Christmas nightwear.
The end.
We do lots of other things though!

Hear hear.

Original poster
Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 11:41

SpecduckularlyQuackers · 29/10/2024 11:38

In principle, for Christians Advent is like Lent - a time of preparation and reflection. A special time for sure, but not really intended to be indulgent. As a sort of Christian family, one of our challenges is to try to respect the solemnity of the season without being total killjoys 🙈

Show quote history

Well I will hold my hands up, not religious in the slightest. We just love the spending time with family doing nice things, kindness and good food aspects. I love all of the lights too!

OP posts:
WhyamIinahandcartandwherearewegoing · 29/10/2024 11:41

So glad we swerved this, my kids just old enough that this didn’t hit when they were at that age. It’s a bloody awful bind by the sounds of it.

I also can’t stand the whole Christmas Eve “box” with yet more tat to be purchased. And don’t get me started on the matching pyjamas.

Carrots for Rudolph, mince pie and a much needed drink for Santa, that’s yer lot 😜, there’s plenty to be consumed the following day!

Frowningprovidence · 29/10/2024 11:40

I avoided it and am glad I did as I know I would have started big, full of enthusiasm and then found myself under a pressure, entirely of my own making, to keep it going.

We just said our family didn't need an elf and left it at that .

SoNiceToComeHomeTo · 29/10/2024 11:39

I believe that some adults develop an allergy to elves, quite suddenly, much as they can to cats and dogs. The DC wouldn't want Mummy ill in bed over the Christmas period, unable to take them out or wrap presents...

Topseyt123 · 29/10/2024 11:39

Harrriet · 29/10/2024 10:17

No Elf
No Boo boxes
No Christmas eve boxes.
No Christmas bedding.
No Christmas nightwear.
The end.
We do lots of other things though!

Same here. Never did any of that bollocks and nobody suffered.

We did advent calendars, carol service on Christmas Eve, gifts on Christmas morning and Christmas dinner at a local restaurant.

We did have to go along with things like Christmas play/nativity from the primary school but not too much.

That was it.

SpecduckularlyQuackers · 29/10/2024 11:38

Makelikeatreeandleaf · 29/10/2024 10:23

Never did it, DC moaned once, told them the Elf doesn't come here because mummy won't let him and that was that. Am also a non Dec 1st, Christmas Eve box etc person. I can kind of get it if you are Christian so the build up is special, but I'm not so it's not for me.

In principle, for Christians Advent is like Lent - a time of preparation and reflection. A special time for sure, but not really intended to be indulgent. As a sort of Christian family, one of our challenges is to try to respect the solemnity of the season without being total killjoys 🙈

KnottedTwine · 29/10/2024 11:36

This is not a "tradition". It was only invented in the last 10-15 years. I put it in the same mental basket as other ridiculous things like Boo Boxes (wtf?) and North Pole breakfasts - designed by companies to sell you tat you never thought you needed, and embraced by people who live their lives on Instagram.

MrsSkylerWhite · 29/10/2024 11:34

It’s creepy.

As an adult being watched all day, Elf would be reported as a stalker!

WhatNoRaisins · 29/10/2024 11:34

I actually feel quite lucky that my oldest DC finds it really creepy. I think if they wanted to do it I'd make it clear that it's just for a game and that we can all take turns hiding the elf in a funny place.

AmICrazyToEvenBother · 29/10/2024 11:33

This does no appeal to me, so I've never done it. We have other traditions though.

Flutterbees · 29/10/2024 11:33

@Alottodoaboutssomething the Elf is whatever you make it to be. Ours doesn't monitor the kids, he just does stuff to make them laugh. Do it or don't do it, it's your choice.

Original poster
Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 11:32

EliflurtleAndTheInfiniteMadness · 29/10/2024 11:22

You just reminded me I have to find the bloody elf. I blame school, the kindy and year 1 teachers have classroom elves. The first couple days it's fun working out a new hiding space is fun, but it qucikly loses that. I wouldn't start it if I could chose again.

Oh f* classroom elves? Now I think of it I'm sure dc mentioned one of those last year. The school headteacher is a bit of a stickler, so hopefully will have banned this now, 😂 This is someone who creates actual "half school uniform" days, crazy school!

OP posts:
Didimum · 29/10/2024 11:30

Never done it and never will. We also only vaguely do Father Christmas and place more value in family time and activities. I will risk them being traumatised by 'unmagical' Christmases.

saveforthat · 29/10/2024 11:30

What is the point of the elf? Do young children really believe in it (like FC) or does everyone know Mum/Dad are moving it? Not around when my son was young, thank goodness.

Original poster
Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 11:28

HelenHen · 29/10/2024 11:15

I really regret ever starting it. It was nice when they were young and I wasn't working or was working part time and I had the time and energy to be bothered.

Fast forward a couple of years when I'm working full time and really don't have the time or energy.

The kids are hearing about friends elves antics and you end up feeling shit that you haven't gone to the same effort as these parents.

At some point our elves just went back to the north pole, seemingly because they weren't needed anymore, because they're only actually there for naughty kids 😂

Seriously we've enough to be doing. We are not living in a hallmark movie.

Yes "just there for naughty kids", that could work 🤣 as long as dc1 doesn't tell his friends with live in elves their behaviour is bad! I may risk it!

OP posts:
TofuTart · 29/10/2024 11:25

Harrriet · 29/10/2024 10:17

No Elf
No Boo boxes
No Christmas eve boxes.
No Christmas bedding.
No Christmas nightwear.
The end.
We do lots of other things though!

Boo box?!
What the actual F is one of those?! 🤣
Like there isn't enough nonsense out there already lol (I promise I love Christmas, just can't be arsed with the Elf lol)

Original poster
Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 11:24

Flutterbees · 29/10/2024 11:23

We've been doing it for 11 years, my kids are now early and mid-teens and we still love our Elf. Of course you're not being unreasonable for not having an Elf, just as those of us who get a kick out of it are also not unreasonable for having one. Really not sure why you even had to ask the question, you do you.

Because I was just curious about it, and feel mean if I say no to it! I was wondering if others found it creepy like me. I think the monitoring part is putting me off more than the moving the little terror around the house tbh! But yeah each to their own!

OP posts:
OutboundName · 29/10/2024 11:24

We don't do the elf and I don't give a shiny shit about the apparent 'effort' of other parents. I put in plenty of effort where it matters to us e.g. reading with them, crafting together, baking, quality time etc.

Flutterbees · 29/10/2024 11:23

We've been doing it for 11 years, my kids are now early and mid-teens and we still love our Elf. Of course you're not being unreasonable for not having an Elf, just as those of us who get a kick out of it are also not unreasonable for having one. Really not sure why you even had to ask the question, you do you.

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