Page 4 | To not do 'Elf on the shelf'

Alottodoaboutssomething · 2024-10-29T09:58:01+00:00

I understand it as a magical annoying elf turning up 1st December, to watch your children, and report their behaviour back to the North Pole. However, it back fires when it is the "naughty" elf who infact is the one who needs watching. This is demonstrated by his antics each night (set up by the lucky parent who has to think of various mischievous predicaments for 24 days)! Please correct me if I am wrong on this. I promise I am not a grinch! We do crafts, baking, advent calendars, small Christmas box with night before Christmas book, Santa key, leaving mince pie, carrot on Christmas eve etc in the lead up. I just find the elf idea creepy, especially the whole watching/monitoring idea. Surely it could lead to a "mummy is this you doing this?" and create further risk of them questioning Santa as well. I don't know if this has happened to anybody! Dc1 has asked about his elf, and I don't want to do it, and feel mean, because the other kids get it visiting them. I don't want a festive squatter in my home!

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 29/10/2024 15:03

Of course YANBU. Do Christmas how you want. The elf thing always sounded very annoying to me.

Swanbeauty · 29/10/2024 15:02

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Original poster

Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 15:00

dutysuite · 29/10/2024 14:58

I did it for a few years when my teens were little and it was a pain in the arse. We even had two elves at one stage. I shouldn’t never have started it in the first place. Glad those days are over. I don’t allow myself to be drawn into all the social media trends anymore, I stay away from insta and don’t post my life on insta or facebook - I live my life my way and feel so much happier for it.

Oh Jesus, 2!! 😱

OP posts:

StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 29/10/2024 15:00

No one has ever spotted our elf. A door appears on the wall, sometimes with a broom, or pair of shoes. Last year it had its own scout necker hanging up on the days we had scouts. No drama and very little effort involved.

Original poster

Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 14:59

Singleandproud · 29/10/2024 10:17

I did it before it became a 'thing', our elf just added to the Christmas magic and he never did anything naughty and certainly no reporting back to Santa. I hate parents using Santa as a behaviour tool.

1st year we did it I wasn't at work so put in way more effort.

Subsequent years our Elf had been promoted to Elf supervisor and had to go and watch the other 'naughty' elves M-F but stopped off each night to hide a chocolate coin with a little sprinkle of gold glitter (instead of an advert calendar)
At the weekend DD would wake up to find the Elf sat with whatever Christmases thing we would have done normally that day

ingredients for making salt dough decorations
ingredients for making mince pies
sat in the 1/2 dressed Christmas tree with the some decorations left out for DD to do
Delivering books of Christmas stories (same ones each year)
once the school holidays started delivering Christmas sticker and colouring books.
I'm a single parent so would make a big fuss of wanting a particular something (new book / cd / perfume etc) and then have the Elf deliver said thing to DD with gift wrapping materials - gift bag and shredded paper when little then wrapping paper (same wrapping paper as Santa's gift to her ofcourse) etc when she was a bit older. And she would keep it secret and proudly hand me my present on Christmas morning.

I also used him to deliver DDs Jack Valentine present (it's a Victorian Norfolk thing) and she wasn't impressed 😁 as she wanted Jack. And to deliver Easter Arts and Crafts at the start of the school holidays - all stuff we would have done anyway but with a bit of added Elf magic and a sprinkle of glitter

Edited

Oh my goodness! The delivering your gift to dd with wrappings from the elf, and her then proudly giving this to you, almost made me well up! You're an incredible Mum @Singleandproud

What brilliant, and creative ideas!

OP posts:

dutysuite · 29/10/2024 14:58

I did it for a few years when my teens were little and it was a pain in the arse. We even had two elves at one stage. I shouldn’t never have started it in the first place. Glad those days are over. I don’t allow myself to be drawn into all the social media trends anymore, I stay away from insta and don’t post my life on insta or facebook - I live my life my way and feel so much happier for it.

BobTheBobcatsBob · 29/10/2024 14:57

We don't do any form of Christmas box, bedding or pjs. I did introduce the elf when my dd was 2 (I have never regretted that decision so much in my life 🤣) and she's now 11 but still expecting the elf to turn up each year despite (presumably?!?) knowing it's all make believe. Our elf isn't naughty and doesn't report back to Father Christmas- it just does fun stuff like bringing their advent calendar and stocking, hiding xmas treats around the house to find, playing hide and seek, playing with ds's toys etc. I used to be more elaborate in what they did but these days I usually remember as I'm getting into bed so I'll quickly come up with something low key that takes no more than 5 mins to sort out. I can't wait until the kids announce that know it's make believe so we can permanently pack the elf away but I've got a feeling they're going to keep up the pretence and I'll still be doing it in 20 years time when they come to visit for xmas 🤓

sanityisamyth · 29/10/2024 14:56

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Why? Seriously, why the fuck would anybody voluntarily do this shit literally to their house???

ExpectantEs · 29/10/2024 14:52

Singleandproud · 29/10/2024 10:17

I did it before it became a 'thing', our elf just added to the Christmas magic and he never did anything naughty and certainly no reporting back to Santa. I hate parents using Santa as a behaviour tool.

1st year we did it I wasn't at work so put in way more effort.

Subsequent years our Elf had been promoted to Elf supervisor and had to go and watch the other 'naughty' elves M-F but stopped off each night to hide a chocolate coin with a little sprinkle of gold glitter (instead of an advert calendar)
At the weekend DD would wake up to find the Elf sat with whatever Christmases thing we would have done normally that day

ingredients for making salt dough decorations
ingredients for making mince pies
sat in the 1/2 dressed Christmas tree with the some decorations left out for DD to do
Delivering books of Christmas stories (same ones each year)
once the school holidays started delivering Christmas sticker and colouring books.
I'm a single parent so would make a big fuss of wanting a particular something (new book / cd / perfume etc) and then have the Elf deliver said thing to DD with gift wrapping materials - gift bag and shredded paper when little then wrapping paper (same wrapping paper as Santa's gift to her ofcourse) etc when she was a bit older. And she would keep it secret and proudly hand me my present on Christmas morning.

I also used him to deliver DDs Jack Valentine present (it's a Victorian Norfolk thing) and she wasn't impressed 😁 as she wanted Jack. And to deliver Easter Arts and Crafts at the start of the school holidays - all stuff we would have done anyway but with a bit of added Elf magic and a sprinkle of glitter

Edited

Thanks for the ideas! My DD is only a baby but I'm a single parent too, so looking to make her Christmas' special in the future.

PizzaPowder · 29/10/2024 14:47

I hate the little fucker! I did it for 2 years and last year he didn't come back as i'd put him in the bin the year before. Quite openly put him in the bin and he wasn't magical enough to come back. Oops. Not sorry.

Christmas can be magical without all this nonsense.

Also, i'm in a bad mood today 😂

Cappuccinowithonesugarplease · 29/10/2024 14:42

I only did elf on the shelf once when it first became a thing, when My eldest was young. Thankfully we emigrated so ds2 and ds3 have no idea about it so we don't bother now. I do however get lego advent calendars! But no Xmas eve boxes either.

Tagyoureit · 29/10/2024 14:42

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That's just vile!

sanityisamyth · 29/10/2024 14:42

My house is enough of a shithole that I can't keep on top of, without deliberately creating mess and havoc each night. What is the point? It's a massive PITA.

Swanbeauty · 29/10/2024 14:38

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Original poster

Alottodoaboutssomething · 29/10/2024 14:36

ThatsNotMyTeen · 29/10/2024 13:51

Mine are much older now but I never did the Elf when they were small. Firstly I hate the elf‘s face. Secondly I couldn’t be arsed. Thirdly I know I would never have fallen for it as a kid (I was a cynical bitch, my mum says she doesn’t think I ever really believed in Santa) so projected that onto my own kids

Each to their own and lots of people enjoy it

"Cynical bitch", 😂 that's hilarious. I think you were just smart, and cottoned on! Dc1 I feel will be this way, he is 7, and only just believing in Santa as it is, if I introduce this little elf, I think it'll just encourage too many questions, and it won't be "realistic" enough! Think I'll just say Santa must not think we need one to watch us.

OP posts:

Cas112 · 29/10/2024 14:17

SalmonLeBon · 29/10/2024 13:58

Er, you said it wasn't really your thing and you were only doing it because of your son's peers. You are absolutely taking on peer pressure on his behalf.
I can bet your son's father isn't going to be the one thinking up stupid scenarios for a doll. It is always a woman, always.

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And then I said I'm also not going to use peer pressure not to do it like your trying to do, bring societal views into it to make me feel guilty for doing it or feel that I'm less of a woman who can stand up for myself. When really I'm allowed to change my mind on something that I know will bring my son a little bit of joy.
I also knew that you would reply with, I bet your partner wont do it and it will be you. I can guarantee it will be him doing the chore of it most nights because he is a lot more creative with stuff like this and is probably more excited than I am. My partner also does the cooking every night much to your surprise of that little misogynistic box you have put him in 😉

RolaDisco · 29/10/2024 14:16

We’ve managed to get away with not doing elf on the shelf so far, but dd has just started school & I imagine she will ask about it if her friends are talking excitedly about a cheeky elf each day!

The thing is, we get behind most festivals/events in our house, Halloween, Easter & bonfire night. Christmas is a big affair and we go full hog on decorations…but I’ve never been sold on the elf thing, he looks creepy too….I just know I’m going to end up doing it at some point though😂

SalmonLeBon · 29/10/2024 13:58

Cas112 · 29/10/2024 13:43

I'm also not going to use peer pressure not to do it , as a WOMAN whatever that has to do with it, I know I dont HAVE to do it 😂I'm just going to do something I know my son will enjoy.

Also wont be doing the whole 24days OP, maybe a week or 10 days max.

Show quote history

Er, you said it wasn't really your thing and you were only doing it because of your son's peers. You are absolutely taking on peer pressure on his behalf.
I can bet your son's father isn't going to be the one thinking up stupid scenarios for a doll. It is always a woman, always.

VickyEadieofThigh · 29/10/2024 13:55

"Boo boxes" (I just Googled them)?!

It's like a lot of parents are just desperate to chuck money away and make work for themselves. When I say "parents" - it's invariably mums picking up these daft ideas and running with them.

If you've got lots of time and cash to spare and like doing these things - crack on. But seriously - if not, just take control and have the courage to say "NO".

ThatsNotMyTeen · 29/10/2024 13:51

Mine are much older now but I never did the Elf when they were small. Firstly I hate the elf‘s face. Secondly I couldn’t be arsed. Thirdly I know I would never have fallen for it as a kid (I was a cynical bitch, my mum says she doesn’t think I ever really believed in Santa) so projected that onto my own kids

Each to their own and lots of people enjoy it

GoldieRetrieverLocks · 29/10/2024 13:48

Harrriet · 29/10/2024 10:17

No Elf
No Boo boxes
No Christmas eve boxes.
No Christmas bedding.
No Christmas nightwear.
The end.
We do lots of other things though!

Hurrah!

Frozensnow · 29/10/2024 13:46

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Oh god. This is horrible 🤢 why would the kids thinking a plastic elf has shitted all over the toilet seat be in any way magical?! It makes me all the more glad I don’t commit to this shite

5475878237NC · 29/10/2024 13:46

Cas112 · 29/10/2024 13:43

I'm also not going to use peer pressure not to do it , as a WOMAN whatever that has to do with it, I know I dont HAVE to do it 😂I'm just going to do something I know my son will enjoy.

Also wont be doing the whole 24days OP, maybe a week or 10 days max.

Show quote history

Hey? How many men do you think are posting on pistonheads or Reddit every day asking for elf inspiration?

Cas112 · 29/10/2024 13:43

SalmonLeBon · 29/10/2024 13:03

Please don't take on the peer pressure on your son's behalf. This is exactly why this sort of shit is so toxic. Women feeling they HAVE to take on more work. Just tell him different families have different things going on at Christmas and this is not one your family does.

Show quote history

I'm also not going to use peer pressure not to do it , as a WOMAN whatever that has to do with it, I know I dont HAVE to do it 😂I'm just going to do something I know my son will enjoy.

Also wont be doing the whole 24days OP, maybe a week or 10 days max.

insomniacalways · 29/10/2024 13:40

We have two very small wooden and felt elves, They move around the room but don't do anything crazy. They come on the 1st and leave when the stockings come on the 25th. That has been enough .... I still get into bed and realise I have not moved them.