Gig with another woman

Would you invite them to your birthday party where your partner and other friends are? I always think that's the test of these "platonic" relationships. Does your partner know them, even if you don't spend much time all together?

What’s funny?

I didn't say "a lot", I said only ever. i.e. you don't want your partner to ever meet or to ever to mix in a group.

opposite sex friendships are never merely platonic no matter all the protestations here.

I suppose I've slept with my male best friend without noticing then?

We've been friends when we were both single - if we wanted to be together, or even just to have sex, we would have done so already. I'm not interested, and over the many many years of friendship there has never been the slightest sign that he is either.

So @Whu, to answer your question, no, as you are bisexual, you are not allowed a close friend that you see a lot on a 121 basis.

I do that with friends of both sexes. I have a friend who I go to gigs with, a friend who I play tennis with and even a friend who I go on holidays with!

What if the tickets were booked before the relationship? I have bought tickets a year in advance for loads of stuff.

It's not the "having friends" that's an issue, it's having a very close friend, the kind who you arrange overnight trips with.

E.g. going with a mixed group is entirely different to going with one "friend". Having a friend who also joins you as a couple or a group sometimes is different to having a friend who you only ever see 121.

It wouldn't bother me.

If your partner is that likely to cheat on you that you don't dare let them go to a gig with a woman in case he shags her, it sounds like a doomed relationship anyway.

If, 6 months in, you feel this insecure with no reason, this is a you problem

Bet you he wouldn't like it though.

I think you’re being unreasonable. DH has female friends who he’s known much longer than me. He does go to gigs with one in particular - we have different taste in music so saves me having to sit through it or him going on his own (which he sometimes does).

What is this obsession that everyone wants to sleep with their opposite sex friends?
Can I just ask, as someone who is bisexual, should I not have friendships with anyone male or female who is in a relationship?
I have platonic friends of both sexes 🤷‍♀️. If their partner tried to stop them going on a night out with me I would be shocked and so would they!

I'd be really pissed off that I wasn't invoted then arrange to go out clubbing with a male friend to see how your dp likes it....don't invite him...say you've been planning it for ages.

Is she good looking?

I bet she is

Who is the woman, how long have they known each other, how did they meet, what keeps their friendship going? I..e do they have a niche common interest or do they just really really like each other?

What does their friendship look like away from this trip? How often are they in touch? How often do they see each other? Is it always just the two of them or are you or other friends sometimes included in plans?

Why aren't you going on this outing? Would you want to if invited?

I agree with everyone here who will insist men and women can be friends, but I think a friendship which is exclusively just the two of them is unusual, whatever the sex, and probably not a regular friendship.

I think I am an anomaly here as I'd rather go to a gig with dh than with a male friend tbh. Why aren't you invited?

I had a male friend...unfortunately he died a couple of years back. We met at work and were friends for 20 years . It was always purely platonic. I was married before I met him.

I like live music, my husband not so much. My friend introduced me to a particular musician and we went to gigs together a few times, often with a meal/drink. No need for a hotel as the gigs were in London where we both lived. However if the situation was different it may have been separate hotel rooms.

My husband was friends with him too and trusted both of us. My husband had a work colleague that he had a good friendship with, again purely platonic. While he didn't see her after work for a drink as she had kids and they both drove home from work, I know I could have trusted him if they did and wouldn't have had an issue with it.

I wouldn't be happy at all

I’m sure there are lots of people who can do this. For me though, I always refuse overnights with my platonic gig-going friend as I can see issues might arise (both single). I know of someone who goes away to gigs every few weeks with OW.

The idea that men and women can't be platonic friends without shagging each other is outdated, sexist bullshit.

If you, OP, can't deal with your partner having a female friend then end the relationship. You don't get to dictate who someone is friends with, especially in the context of such a new relationship.

😂😂

Yes they are. My DW’s best mate is a bloke- they go to boring gigs and whatnot without me. I’m invited but I don’t go because I’m not interested.

There is no more between them than there is me and my best mate (who I regularly go drinking with and then share a hotel bed with!).

In nearly 20 years of friendship nothing has ever happened.

If you want to police language go ahead, however my comment was about the commitment of a partnership, compared with what OP has with this guy. It's not the same.

I wouldn’t like that either OP.

People have different boundaries and feel difficult it. But for me it would be a ‘ I don’t think we’re a good match’ type of conversation