Gig with another woman

Hmmm
I wonder if you felt the same if when you were married your hubby was going out with a model who had the same interests

Yes.

I am a bisexual woman going away with my very special female friend on a three-week-long holiday. Should I cancel in case I am tempted to shag her?

I do both, gigs with DH but there's loads of gigs and music he's not into that I am and vice versa. Rather than watching his face pretending to like my music I take friends who enjoy the music too. Sometimes they are male!
I've been to quite a few festivals without DH because he hates them. Even shared a tent with my male friend. Absolutely no interest in each other!

I'm bi and one of my oldest female friends is gay. We're both married (me to a man, her to a woman). We had dinner out last night, just her and me. I guess that was a date?? (She paid for me and everything.)

I'm having lunch with a male friend tomorrow. Just the two of us. I guess that's also a date. Man, I get around.

I can't imagine why any of our spouses would typically get involved in these situations. Our friendships aren't transitive. I happen to like my friend's wife very much, but she's not my friend, she's my friend's wife, and DH isn't her friend, he's her friend's husband.

‘It just happened’ isn’t a thing- you either cheat or you don’t.

I am gay, my best friend is gay.We go to a different city, get tanked and sleep in the same bed- we have never kissed never mind accidentally shagged- because we are ONLY FRIENDS.

These threads also seem to attract deeply insecure controlling women who clearly wouldn't be able to trust themselves around opposite sex friends without sleeping with them and just project that onto their partner, we can both play the nonsensical generalisation game

100%

My tennis partner’s wife is very welcome to come and stand on the court with us but she hasn’t taken us up on the offer yet probably because she’s out dancing with (shock horror) other men as her hobby is dancing🙄.

You keep changing the bar, your original post was the issue with ‘very close friends’ and those you ‘organise overnight trips with’ both of which I do.

I’m genuinely sorry this is your view on the world. My life is so much richer from having a range of close friends to share different activities with.

I have said absolutely people can have platonic relationships.

When the friendship is exclusively held 121 with other friends and partners never included, I think it's unlikely that it is actually platonic, even if nothing has happened yet.

Shirley Glass talks about not creating the opportunity for unplanned infidelity. So I would say that going to a gig is fine, but getting jacked up on booze and going to his room to chat after the gig is inviting a "it just happened" incident.

verilymag.com/2017/06/can-men-and-women-be-friends-not-just-friends-dr-shirley-glass-boundaries-in-marriage

Why on earth are you putting platonic in quotation marks?!
You have warped thinking if you think people can’t have platonic friends. You must have a jealous mind!
I’ve had friends for 30 years - not had a relationship last near that long yet. Friendships are golden and I’m sorry you don’t get to experience this key part of life because you sexualise everything.

A truly weird argument.

I don’t go to some gigs with DH because I don’t like the music. Should I pay quite a lot of money to attend an event to be bored rigid for two hours?

I’ve also attended events with someone who has just tagged along and it’s a massive drag on the person who wants to be there - you spend all your time wondering if they’re having a good time.

This! My goodness. It's so silly. If it worked like that I'd have no friends!

I've also seen DH physically remove another woman from his person (watched through a window), when she tried to kiss him. Not an old friend either, because none of them would do that! They were disgusted when they heard about it and cut her right out of their circles.

If DH had told me I couldn't be friends with my long-standing friends, I'd not have been happy. His long standing female friend is his ex...who introduced us because she knew we'd fancy each other!

I mean… I’m going skiing for a week with a man who isn’t my partner. I’m also planning a trip away with a female friend. I’m bi, so according to some here either of those could turn into a sex fest. My partner is also bi and goes on holiday sometimes with his gay male best friend. So far, we’ve all managed to refrain from shagging each other.

People who think men and women shouldn’t be anything more than casual acquaintances within a group are best off dating other people who feel the same because there’s no way of seeing eye to eye on this. Any partner who told me I was “too close” with a male (or female) friend and asked that I only interacted with them in ways they deemed acceptable would swiftly be dumped.

"Just a little bit of life experience will tell you that"

Could you be more patronising?

I'm 58. How much life experience do I need in order to know that I won't shag my mate?

How old are you and could you quantify the amount of life experience needed to sound quite so smug?

Who’s he? My best mate is a woman.

Maybe YOU don’t - but I guess he always thought he would…

This is just an argument against doing anything with a friend tho? Going to the pub “I’d rather go to the pub with DH than with a friend tbh”. Going to dinner - “I’d rather go to dinner with DH than a friend …”. That’s fine if you don’t ever want to see your friends (& have your friendships suffer as a result) but some people do actually like having friends. It’s even considered normal, outside of certain mumsnet threads.

in a nutshell. But these threads always get dozens of replies from cool wives who are so terribly cool and secure they're happy for their husbands to share a bed as well as room with their opposite sex friend.

opposite sex friendships are never merely platonic no matter all the protestations here.

Of course they can be. Just because you don't believe it, doesn't make it untrue. People can have different opinions to you. Not everyone thinks the same, and not everyone here is a liar.

If my partner started telling me who I was/wasn't allowed to go to a gig with, I'd leave him.

Exactly. I could have shagged my best mate at any time in the years before we were both married- our relationship is older than our marriages…

Except we have never had any desire to!

I don’t know what’s wrong with people who can’t manage to have a friendship without sex, but it’s a shame for them.

I'd be more judgmental about the band they were going to see, assuming it was not one I'd want to see, to be honest.