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AIBU?

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Rude, Racist or Right?

132 replies

tarmactreacle · 29/10/2024 07:44

I rarely travel by bus but yesterday I was queuing behind a man for a bus to town.

When he got on he said "name of destination". The driver replied "no, it's "single to name of destination PLEASE". Have some manners, We're in England"

The man then politely repeated what the bus driver had asked him to say, took his ticket and sat down.

The man was black and the "we are in England" felt unnecessary and made me feel uncomfortable.

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Lentilweaver · 29/10/2024 08:46

DoTheDinosaurStomp · 29/10/2024 08:40

It's not rude to point put a lack of manners.

The "this is England" does sound racist.

Although I'm not sure if we'd think the same if he said the same to a white American or Australian tourist.

People don't usually say this to white people.
I was walking down an unfamiliar path the other day..Filled with dog walkers and families. A cyclists went by me and yelled " It's a fucking cycle path".
It wasn't ( no sign)
He didn't yell it at the dog walkers.
I know why I was singled out.

Sunkisst · 29/10/2024 08:43

A lot of people on this thread are making points around saying this to non-British white tourists or foreigners..,making the exact same assumptions of the bus driver that because this man was not white, he wasn’t English. Nowhere does OP say he spoke with an accent or had any indication of not being from England.

Maddy70 · 29/10/2024 08:43

KnittyNell · 29/10/2024 08:38

I’m not sure on this one to be honest.
Would it be considered racist if he said it to a white person from Poland for example?
I’ve found that many people from Eastern Europe have very different cultural notions of what we consider to be good manners.

Yes of course this is racist too

PattiSmithsPattis · 29/10/2024 08:42

I agree the drivers attitude stinks.
Most buses have cameras these days, I don't know if they record?
Hopefully they do and the bus company can review the encounter and decide if they want to give 'diversity training ' or whatever racist twats get these days 🤞

DoTheDinosaurStomp · 29/10/2024 08:40

It's not rude to point put a lack of manners.

The "this is England" does sound racist.

Although I'm not sure if we'd think the same if he said the same to a white American or Australian tourist.

KnittyNell · 29/10/2024 08:38

I’m not sure on this one to be honest.
Would it be considered racist if he said it to a white person from Poland for example?
I’ve found that many people from Eastern Europe have very different cultural notions of what we consider to be good manners.

neonjumper · 29/10/2024 08:37

Supersimkin7 · 29/10/2024 08:33

The driver’s probably exasperated by rude passengers.

I’ve said ‘we’re in England so you’ve got to say please’ to my family on trips who live abroad and don’t use it - or thanks - normally at home. Lots of places don’t.

Not automatically racist. I’ve got my suspicions on this one but equally calling someone out for discourtesy isn’t a problem.

It's racist ! The driver made an assumption that a person of colour does not belong ... it was othering him .

Your example is explaining to your relative's the etiquette of being somewhere culturally different .

Jessie1259 · 29/10/2024 08:36

100% racist. The bus driver wasn't trying to do this guy a favour so that he would understands social norms, he was saying 'you don't belong here'.

Wordsmithery · 29/10/2024 08:35

Report the driver.
What a horrible man.

Amallamard · 29/10/2024 08:34

Rude and clearly racist.

Not saying please may be rude but it's far ruder IMO to admonish an adult for not saying please than it is to fail to say it in the first place.

Supersimkin7 · 29/10/2024 08:33

The driver’s probably exasperated by rude passengers.

I’ve said ‘we’re in England so you’ve got to say please’ to my family on trips who live abroad and don’t use it - or thanks - normally at home. Lots of places don’t.

Not automatically racist. I’ve got my suspicions on this one but equally calling someone out for discourtesy isn’t a problem.

Sunkisst · 29/10/2024 08:31

Bus driver is an arrogant racist prick and needs to be reported. He would never have said that to your average white British man in the same situation.

Maverickess · 29/10/2024 08:28

Yeah, I think it was racially motivated and that's not on and needs to be reported.

Don't agree with it being rude to 'challenge' lack of manners in general though.

Edenmum2 · 29/10/2024 08:22

Outrageous, report him

Maddy70 · 29/10/2024 08:20

Definitely racist. Please report him

Thepeopleversuswork · 29/10/2024 08:18

@MsMarch

This is the type of racism where black people are treated like children. Whether or not an adult says please or thank you, ans whether or not others think it's rude, adults do not usually correct other adults in this way. The "this is england" was just another layer of racism.

Exactly. If the guy had been white there’s no way he would even have challenged him on it.

Its like the way some people will speak to foreigners with this very slow, patronising and loud voice as if they are intellectually challenged because they are not British. The fact someone has bothered to learn enough if your language to be able to communicate (unlike the average Brit who can’t assemble a sentence in any other language) tells you that they are not stupid. So don’t treat them as if they are: they’re probably more educated than you.

I loathe people like this.

TranscendentalMedication · 29/10/2024 08:17

Probably a bit of all three. It's basic manners to say please, but it's quite rude to correct someone in that way, and yes the bus driver does sound racist.

Thepeopleversuswork · 29/10/2024 08:13

Obviously racist. This sort of person is just waiting for excuses to have a pop at someone. Also the “we are in England” comment is so ridiculous. As if it’s acceptable to be rude everywhere in the world but not in England. Small minded moron.

Obsessedwithlamps · 29/10/2024 08:13

Racist. Report the driver.

GoldenPheasant · 29/10/2024 08:12

Certainly racist and the driver needs to be reported.

Ilovelurchers · 29/10/2024 08:12

Pleased to see everybody agreeing it's racist. It definitely is.

Orangebadger · 29/10/2024 08:11

We're in England is racist. You should report him.

VibeVanguard · 29/10/2024 08:09

Racist. Please make a report about the bus driver.
IMO we all have a duty, as bystanders, to support and protect others in need.

tarmactreacle · 29/10/2024 08:00

We are definitely not a tourist area. I felt the man wasn't rude in the way he asked for the ticket, he said the destination softly and quietly. There was no arrogance about him. I admit a "please" would have been nice though.

OP posts:
MsMarch · 29/10/2024 07:56

This is the type of racism where black people are treated like children. Whether or not an adult says please or thank you, ans whether or not others think it's rude, adults do not usually correct other adults in this way. The "this is england" was just another layer of racism.

I would also be tempted to complain. If this is how he behaves to a black male adult, I dread to think how much worse he us to black.women or children.